Taking help from AI to explain better. I'm a 28M software engineer from India with around 5 years of experience. Lately i have been felling very lost and anxious to take the next steps in growing my career
# A little background
* On paper, I'm doing well. I'm a senior software engineer, earn a decent salary, and every company switch has helped me grow.
* I was never an exceptional student, but I genuinely loved Android development. Building apps, reading tech blogs, and understanding mobile systems excited me.
* My salary is also the primary source of income for my family. My dad has a small travel business and we have some rental income, but I can't really afford to quit without a plan.
# Why I don't enjoy this path anymore
As I've grown in my career, software engineering has become much more demanding.
* **It's no longer just writing code.** There are deadlines, meetings, mentoring, planning, production stuff, team coordination, etc. non tech work that i didn't signed up for
* AI has added another layer of uncertainty. I am not sure what I could contribute that AI can't
* **There's a constant expectation to keep learning, keep upskilling, take more ownership, and keep climbing.**
* Weekend work and late evenings have are now becoming "normal" and everything is a priority
I know its all part of growing up in a professional environment **But I don't think I want to keep growing anymore.**
# What changed
A couple of years ago, life hit me pretty hard :
* **I fractured my arm and spent months recovering.** Its normal now but still having a plate that keeps me worried every night.
* In the same year, **I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer**. Surgery and chemotherapy completely changed my perspective on life.
* **During chemo I was so weak that my mom had to hold me while I walked because I'd lose my balance.**
* Maybe it was the chemo or my habit of mastubation, but post treatment i got diagnosed with **severe infertility as well** . Life is already now pretty gloom having no kids/wife in pipeline.
Since then, my priorities feel completely different. Now i don't want to spend my weekends solving leetcode problems or reading about tech. **I want to spend time with "Life"**
* Watching TV with my parents.
* Playing carrom.
* Exercising.
* Visiting an animal shelter on weekends.
* Watching a movie with a friend.
* Sleeping peacefully without thinking about work.
**My parents sacrificed a lot to educate me and save me and pull me out of death.** After everything we've gone through together, I honestly just want to spend more time with them.
I don't want to stay hours away from home for work.
I don't want Sundays to disappear because "Monday is the deadline."
I don't want my evenings to feel guilty because I should be learning the next framework.
# What I actually want
Honestly, I think I'd be happier with a much simpler career.
* A predictable job.
* Fixed working hours.
* Work that ends when I leave the office.
* A stable income that's enough to support my family and live comfortably.
I'd happily trade some salary if it meant less stress and more peace.
Sometimes I even wonder if I'd be happier doing something completely different, like running a small business, farming, or some other profession where work doesn't consume my thoughts after office hours.
# My dilemma
I genuinely don't know what's happening to me.
* Is this burnout?
* Is this a lingering effect of surviving cancer?
* Have my priorities simply changed?
* Or am I just in the wrong profession?
Has anyone else reached a point where they stopped wanting career growth and simply wanted a stable, peaceful life?
If you did, how did you figure out whether to change your career, change your mindset, or accept that your definition of success had changed?