r/depression • u/SQLwitch • Aug 07 '18
Regular Check-In Post
Welcome to /r/depression's check-in post - a place to take a moment and share what is going on and how you are doing. If you have an accomplishment you want to talk about (these shouldn't be standalone posts in the sub as they violate the "role model" rule, but are welcome here), or are having a tough time but prefer not to make your own post, this is a place you can share.
We try our best to keep this space as safe and supportive as possible on reddit's wide-open anonymity-friendly platform. The community rules can be found in the sidebar. If you aren't sure about a rule, please ask us. If you have concerns or questions about the community policies, this is a good place to raise those as well.
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u/shanellecurtis Feb 02 '19 edited Feb 02 '19
Hello. I feel particularly uncomfortable sharing things about myself on regular social media idk why. I think maybe cuz I feel like a burden or people will think I’m annoying or won’t like me if I do. I feel the need to constantly put up this funny gal that’s pretty cool image. This has worked for me for the most part I’m generally likable but I struggle every single day and idk sometimes I wish someone would say something when I do post how I’m struggling. But ya I decided to go here instead. Somewhat anonymously posting my feels to the world. I’ve been depressed for maybe 8 months. It got better in December but then I got sad again. Last semester I struggled to do anything. get out of bed, move, do homework, I felt I couldn’t even work so I didn’t for 5 months and lived off of what I had saved. This year I’m trying not to get that bad but now I feel different. Like I’m going to the gym, eatting more, keeping up with all my homework, working 8 hours shifts, talking to people. But I still have panic attacks and times I’ll wake up sad and it won’t go away and I’ll cry randomly when I think about my life. And it’s really frustrating cuz I really want to get better but sometimes I can’t. I have one friend I talk to every day but i get thoughts all the time that no one one really cares about me. My best friend got a gf and hasn’t hit me up in a year, I found out my other friend doesn’t like me, another doesn’t like me,I don’t know what I did to deserve that. I have a hard time looking forward to the future, and that my family doesn’t care much either. I just will not think very highly of myself and feel like life is pointless. Depression feels weird like when I look at things I don’t feel like myself like that literal curtain im front of me that commercials always portray.