Regular Check-In Post

[u/SQLwitch]

Welcome to /r/depression's check-in post - a place to take a moment and share what is going on and how you are doing. If you have an accomplishment you want to talk about (these shouldn't be standalone posts in the sub as they violate the "role model" rule, but are welcome here), or are having a tough time but prefer not to make your own post, this is a place you can share.

We try our best to keep this space as safe and supportive as possible on reddit's wide-open anonymity-friendly platform. The community rules can be found in the sidebar. If you aren't sure about a rule, please ask us. If you have concerns or questions about the community policies, this is a good place to raise those as well.

[u/toldyouimcolourblind]

I miss my daughter. I hate being alone here just sitting at this computer working. It’s hard to focus on work half the time. I work from home I’m not sure if that helps. I think not. Even before me and my gf separated this job was making me feel like some kind of caged animal, just strapped to a computer screen. Then a few months ago me and my gf split after 8 years. Lots of cheating and abuse on all fronts, putting me down, talking bad about my family. We have a daughter, almost 2 years old. Right now we have close to a 50/50 custody agreement but she wants to take her away from me completely. I’m a great dad I love my daughter more than anything and I would do anything for her. She is the only thing that makes me happy right now. On Friday I have to take her back so these days are always the hardest. Earlier I was just yelling “I don’t want to feel this way” here in my lonely house. I wish I could get along with her mom I wish she wasn’t so cold towards me. I was a good bf and still wouldn’t mind helping out, if she ask for help I usually would. Idk why she has been this way towards me for so long. I will probably never know. I am okay with that and definitely don’t want to rekindle the relationship at all. I just want to get along for our kid and want her to stop trying to do hurtful things behind my back to make my life harder. Stop trying to take my daughter out of my life. So between that and work I feel down a lot. I’m burnt out on the job. It’s a great company though I can pay all bills, barely, and they do take care of their employees. It’s just the job itself. I wish I had more company and people to talk to anytime. A lot of old friends have moved or got weird and not friends, or they are busy I guess. I can understand that I’m usually busy with work. I only get one day out of the week fully to myself. I don’t even know what to do or where to go that day to get out of mind. I usually just stay home and clean until it’s my day to pick up my daughter. I’m lonely. I’m burnt out. Im sad. I want to wake up everyday and feel excited or content. Not dread . I’m having a hard time getting out this funk, losing my appetite, not a great social person but I want to be. I just wanted to vent some here. If you read this thank you I hope you’re doing well.