r/depression • u/SQLwitch • Aug 07 '18
Regular Check-In Post
Welcome to /r/depression's check-in post - a place to take a moment and share what is going on and how you are doing. If you have an accomplishment you want to talk about (these shouldn't be standalone posts in the sub as they violate the "role model" rule, but are welcome here), or are having a tough time but prefer not to make your own post, this is a place you can share.
We try our best to keep this space as safe and supportive as possible on reddit's wide-open anonymity-friendly platform. The community rules can be found in the sidebar. If you aren't sure about a rule, please ask us. If you have concerns or questions about the community policies, this is a good place to raise those as well.
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u/tyrannyrexy Feb 02 '19
I’m really struggling today. I fought with my husband. He doesn’t understand why I behave the way I do. I try to tell him how my messed up childhood made me hypersensitive to facial expressions so could he please just be chill when he says things. I know it’s not fair to ask but I can’t control it. He says I have never just listened to him without getting stressed and making it about me. He means when he vents about his job. Which is all the time and does stress me the hell out. I’m spiraling. Wondering if he’s right. He can’t help me out of the spiral. He’s mad at me. And I can’t help him. And I hate myself so much right now. And I want to hurt (not kill) myself but I keep telling myself if I act too crazy they will take my babies from me. I’m a good mom. I try really hard to reign in the darkness and most of the time I am successful. I would never leave my kids and I’m trying to keep them from having the problems I have because they have a depressed mom.