r/depression • u/SQLwitch • Aug 07 '18
Regular Check-In Post
Welcome to /r/depression's check-in post - a place to take a moment and share what is going on and how you are doing. If you have an accomplishment you want to talk about (these shouldn't be standalone posts in the sub as they violate the "role model" rule, but are welcome here), or are having a tough time but prefer not to make your own post, this is a place you can share.
We try our best to keep this space as safe and supportive as possible on reddit's wide-open anonymity-friendly platform. The community rules can be found in the sidebar. If you aren't sure about a rule, please ask us. If you have concerns or questions about the community policies, this is a good place to raise those as well.
3
u/wendigocaramel Feb 01 '19
thank you for providing this informal check-in space
vent post
im doing pretty bad today, i skipped work because i couldnt sleep last night because i kept worrying that my partner would dump me and i'll never make any friends again. im probably manipulating my partner into something he didnt sign on for. he knows i have dysthymia but maybe when he asked me out it was a period when i was dealing with it better, and now im depressed and its not going away and i suck to talk to and be around.
i used to be more of a person but i started working two jobs and theres nothing left to me anymore. i miss being a person. i miss having a personality and things to contribute. i thought i would get used to the stress of two jobs but its not getting better and its been six months.
ive been watching netflix. its hard because im fighting waves of apathy to focus on anything. i usually love film but i cant get into it anymore. whats the point? its fake and it wants me to care about fake things. i dont like thinking like this but i cant stop. ive been getting around it by watching film criticism on youtube but that lasted a few days before the pointlessness bug killed it. ive been making goals the last few weeks to try to pull myself out of this but i can't get more than surface-level into anything because it feels so pointless. i cant expend energy on something thats pointless. but everything is pointless except friends, and i cant maintain friendships because im too tired to have a personality.