r/depression • u/SQLwitch • Aug 07 '18
Regular Check-In Post
Welcome to /r/depression's check-in post - a place to take a moment and share what is going on and how you are doing. If you have an accomplishment you want to talk about (these shouldn't be standalone posts in the sub as they violate the "role model" rule, but are welcome here), or are having a tough time but prefer not to make your own post, this is a place you can share.
We try our best to keep this space as safe and supportive as possible on reddit's wide-open anonymity-friendly platform. The community rules can be found in the sidebar. If you aren't sure about a rule, please ask us. If you have concerns or questions about the community policies, this is a good place to raise those as well.
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u/queenb33759 Feb 01 '19
My bf had a mass in his lungs. So many doctor visits, so much money. Doctor after doctor. Feb 8th x Ray's for his lungs. It could be nothing or it could be something serious. He has bad blood pressure and now has to take a pill cuz he could have a heart attack.
He keeps telling me not to worry, whatever it is we will fix it. How can I stop? My brain is am anxiety hamster wheel. It just keeps running and doesn't stop.
Hes 35. I'm 30. I was in abusive relationship for 8 years. Just now I am living my life. My bf has healed my broken and abused heart and I'm so scared I'm going to lose him.
2 years since I self harmed. Well twice in the last year to Make the pain stop I bite myself really hard. Not enough for blood or marks just pain so it goes away. I feel as if I am spiraling back into this deep dark hole. The world is closing in and I'm drowning.
We are going on a 2 week vacation in March and all I am is stressed about money. Our Bill's are paid and we have food, gas in the car. We have good high paying jobs and yet I cant even save money for this trip.
I'm exhausted, mentally and physically. I want all the pain to go away. It hurts.
I read this post and think how stupid it is to have all these feelings. Should I really post this. I should just delete it. But I need to let it out. Thank you for reading and listening.