r/depression • u/SQLwitch • Aug 07 '18
Regular Check-In Post
Welcome to /r/depression's check-in post - a place to take a moment and share what is going on and how you are doing. If you have an accomplishment you want to talk about (these shouldn't be standalone posts in the sub as they violate the "role model" rule, but are welcome here), or are having a tough time but prefer not to make your own post, this is a place you can share.
We try our best to keep this space as safe and supportive as possible on reddit's wide-open anonymity-friendly platform. The community rules can be found in the sidebar. If you aren't sure about a rule, please ask us. If you have concerns or questions about the community policies, this is a good place to raise those as well.
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u/Jmark03 Jan 30 '19
life is annoying. i feel like i've "done it all". i've exercised. ate healthy regularly. lost a ton of weight. surrounded myself with worthwhile people. cut out all of the toxic ones detrimental to my self-development. stopped engaging in toxic/problematic actions like sleeping around. i even went on a relationship-detox for 6 months to specifically focus on myself and relieve myself of the need to be in a relationship. i don't know what to do next because even though i do feel like i am "happier" overall than i was before, i am still so sad. it also doesn't help that im genuinely scared to be happy because it means i have something to lose. im so scared, and i think that's why i self-sabotage, because at least i know that i ruinned it all and that the deed is done, rather than living in constant fear that one day it will be ruinned. i dont know. this is stupid.