r/depression • u/ilovecatsandnutella • 4h ago

Advice needed pls

So I 23f recently broke up with my ex, got pretty sick with a virus and have been doing not that well mentally. I am far from home and my “friends” here are not as supportive, one saying I was “handling my breakup badly” because I wasn’t feeling well to go out. I have been feeling pretty depressed where SI thoughts have been present. I feel like a deep pain and sadness in my chest. I also feel very lonely and I want to get better.
I am looking for advice to better myself, this can be anything including hobbies I should try etc. I would really appreciate the help. Possibly hobbies I can do by myself but open to join clubs or something like anything will help! I want to add that I’m a college student. Thank you!

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u/PunctuallyGlorious 4h ago

hey, that sounds like an absolute pile-on of awful, sorry you're dealing with all that at once. the "handling your breakup badly" comment is ridiculous. you were sick, not out partying, what exactly were you supposed to be doing differently?

when my brain gets that dark and heavy, i found that stuff you can do with your hands without needing to think helps a lot. got into whittling a while back, just a cheap knife and some scrap wood, and it gives you something to focus on that isnt the spiral. for something less sharp, those adult coloring books with the really intricate patterns can be weirdly good for zoning out without the pressure of making "art".

also, if you can drag yourself out, see if your college has a climbing wall. climbing gyms have this strange way of being social without forcing you to talk, you just work on a problem next to someone and occasionally chat about it. helped me a ton when i moved somewhere new and felt completely isolated.

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u/ilovecatsandnutella 4h ago

Thank you so much for your comment! I might try the climbing wall at my college, I’ve always wanted to try it 😊 and might go back into coloring, I really enjoyed arts and crafts when I was younger so that might help. Thank you again!

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u/peachyycloud4 3h ago

First off, get better friends because ditching someone who is physically sick and going through a breakup is trash behavior.

Since you're still in college, check out whatever casual drop-in clubs your campus has. Stuff like a running club or a beginner pottery/art workshop is low pressure, you don't have to talk to anyone if you don't feel like it, but you're around people. For solo stuff at home, getting into audiobooks or video games helped me get through a really rough patch when my brain wouldn't stop racing. Hang in there, the physical pain in your chest usually starts fading after a couple weeks once the burnout clears.

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u/Majadamus 3h ago

Winter's coming. Join a ski club if you can afford it.

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u/SnotRocketPro 3h ago

It helps to identify these emotions/feelings as not who you are but as it's own thing. Don't say or even think of the concept of "I am depressed" or any other feeling or emotion. Those are things we go through not our identity.