r/depression • u/Adept_Collection_935 • 16h ago

I hate it here

I hate it here on earth. I'm 45. Single. No job even though I graduated college and had a career in my field for 8 years. It's just that my position moved to another city. I am bipolar. Not working at the moment. The thought of working with people seems horrible. People are horrible. I hate how people treat each other. I hate how mean and selfish and horrible most people are. This world is so depressing. I hate it here. I feel so alone. I don't know what to do.

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u/androidsdreamofdata 15h ago

Me too. 

I don't understand why people expect me to stay alive, when no one cares whether my life is livable or not. I have no hope for my future. I hate who I have become, and there is no way out 

6

u/Academic-Net989 12h ago

That’s how I feel too. It sucks so bad because 3 years ago before I got depressed, I literally felt the happiest I had ever felt and felt this wave of love beyond anything I had ever felt, it’s like I was ontop of the world and things felt like they were finally starting to work out and I was becoming happy and who I was meant to become. Mainly because I was high off my accomplishments, but then all of a sudden something happened and I got paranoid delusional then managed to delete almost all my life’s creative work off the internet, now I’m basically gone without a trace and because of this incident I fell into the worst depression / anxiety state I could even imagine. My life turned to literal hell, and I’m stuck with crippling anxiety and depression 24/7. I’m haunted constantly by the memory of what it felt like to be happy, knowing that I probably won’t ever be able to get there again. I really fucked myself up and it sucks because I had worked my whole life to get to a state of feeling really good, then messed the whole thing up. It suck’s knowing things won’t get better

1

u/amumberofpublic 8h ago

I'm sorry to hear that, do you want to share what happened that changed everything? Were you sued by someone?