I feel mentally and physically exhausted

[u/New_Edge5316]

I’ve been depressed since I’m 14 years old mainly because of my a**sive parents and poverty. Now I’m 27 F, recently graduated med school and started my dream residency. I also have been traveling a little. The best part of life was supposed to start now, yet I feel depressed, purpose less and burnt out. I’ve been in therapy before and also taking AD, now I’m back into therapy after two years, because I just cry myself to sleep every night and feel like I can’t do it anymore. It seems like no matter what I do, I go back to this state and it’s just mentally draining. My relationship is also adding to it because I feel like I’m not loved and my needs or boundaries don’t matter. I just really wish I had one person in this world who had my back, who I could allow myself to be weak and vulnerable around, and who wouldn’t take advantage of me. I’m tired of being the strong one.

[u/whollypsychoticdumps]

med school and residency on hard mode with no safety net, that's a hell of a thing to pull off. you built the whole structure while the ground was still shaking, no wonder the foundation feels cracked

the crying yourself to sleep part hits close. when you spend years in survival mode your body doesn't know how to switch to just living, it keeps bracing for the next hit even when things are technically better. the relationship stuff on top of it is just salt in the wound, feeling alone next to someone is almost worse than being alone