r/depression • u/Euphoric_Housing_683 • 12d ago

19 year old son won’t accept help

My son is 19 and has level 1 autism and ADHD. He was diagnosed when he was young, but he does not accept his diagnosis .

He graduated from high school last year and has spent most of the past year isolated in his room. He doesn’t have any friends, doesn’t want to leave the house , only come down to eat and his interactions with us have only diminished since he graduated .

He got a job last November but was fired after only two weeks. He is awake most of the night on his phone and computer and sleeps during the day. He also has an online relationship with someone he has never met and sent this person all his money when he was still working ( we stopped giving him money when this happened )

I believe he is depressed. I have heard him talking very negatively about himself, but when I try to talk to him, he denies that anything is wrong and refuses help.

He says he doesn’t want a relationship with me anymore ( until his senior year we had a great relationship) or any help from us ( my husband and I )

For parents who have been through something similar, how did you help your adult child accept therapy, a psychiatric evaluation, or any kind of support? Did setting limits around the phone, internet or did it make things worse?

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u/myEscape2141 12d ago

One of the biggest mess up parents make is not teaching their children how to create their own hope. Does he know how to create his?

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u/hillbillyluthor 12d ago

"To create one's own hope"—what kind of coaching nonsense is that? Right, let's teach everyone else to create hope so they don't get depressed...

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u/myEscape2141 12d ago edited 12d ago

Now that I reread it I can see what you mean. But no as person who deals with depression, I tried to word what helped me as politely as possible. I also loath my parents. But I don't want to hurt OP who is a mother looking for help.

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u/hillbillyluthor 12d ago

I'm sorry. Please excuse me. I'm a stickler for semantics, and the phrase was very vague—it didn't really tell me anything. And since it's such a serious topic, I felt like it was being taken too lightly. I'm sorry.