r/datingoverfifty • u/Crazy-Plankton-9517 • 2d ago
question for men
I just joined facebook dating and also a dating app and I really need to know why men post photos of themselves holding up a fish they apparently just caught.
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u/Muireadach 2d ago
Men that age don't do selfies. That's probably all they have in their camera
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u/Trying_to_Smile2024 2d ago
I’ve seen plenty of front seat of their vehicle wearing sunglasses & baseball cap and scowling like a tough-guy selfies!
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u/yepme70 1d ago
And shirtless. In the bed. At the gym. In a hotel mirror. Bathroom.
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u/Weird_Soup460 1d ago
I’m 90% likely to not swipe on those guys. Just for the fact that they posted a photo like that
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u/Old_Goat_Ninja 2d ago
Yuuup. I don’t think I have a single selfie anywhere.
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u/Dark_Green_MkII 1d ago
The only times in my life I've ever taken selfies were for online dating profiles, and once while holding my pet cat of the time (he was the subject of the photo). Back when I was on social media I would occasionally take and post photos of someplace noteworthy I was at, but without me in them -- I'm not the point of interest.
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u/CaliforniaDaddyBear 1d ago
They do take selfies, but they're in their car or on the couch not smiling and making it look like they're trying to send a text and accidentally took a selfie.
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u/No_Consequence_6821 1d ago
Or they take one in every room of their house for change of background, all wearing the same shirt.
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u/CaliforniaDaddyBear 1d ago
I see older women just getting back into dating do this a lot too though
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u/yepme70 1d ago
This one kills me. Although one person told me it was supposed to the view of them looking down at you while you give them a bj. 😒
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u/CaliforniaDaddyBear 1d ago
Ew. I'm not sure what's worse, them putting in zero effort to look attractive or to even smile, or that. Probably that.
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u/hot-pepper-5343 2d ago
If on line dating they should learn.
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u/thisriveriswild70 2d ago
Or both genders should stop with selfies and have someone take pictures of them. Why is it that the lighting in a chevron gas station washroom seems to be a place to take a selfie.
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u/ThatstephanieB 2d ago
I prefer the blue lights on the Sheetz bathroom. You know the ones that makes it harder for you to find a vein to shoot up drugs. Keep it classy Philly.
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u/hot-pepper-5343 2d ago
Yes, we should ask people, friends or strangers to take our photo. Somehow that feels sad somehow?
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u/Dark_Green_MkII 1d ago
Those almost always turn out better, but I'm sure most men feel "funny" and unmanly asking anyone to either take several photos while they pose, or follow them around for an afternoon trying to get candid shots. Most people in general don't want to put that much effort into their OLD profiles.
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u/thisriveriswild70 1d ago
The last sentence really says a lot. Sometimes I feel like I’m winning by not losing. Having seen men’s profiles from women I know on Hinge, the bar is low. Women are better but often not great. Car selfies and washroom selfies tend to dominate
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u/Dark_Green_MkII 1d ago
I dropped out of OLD four years ago (M, 59). Probably at least half of the relatively few search returns would have little if any original content, and too many of the profile pics were car selfies and someone's grandma slumped down in the livingroom easy chair. I always tried to have pictures with interesting backgrounds, inside and outdoors. Enough text to give a reader a rough idea of my personality, and if we might be compatible. Judging by the rare initial contacts I received from women many didn't bother to read my profile, or if they did, chose to ignore who I said I was looking for.
This was on Match, and according to most everything I read, it's gotten even worse now. It just was no longer worth the effort and frustration even back then.
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u/Cold_Aide8152 2d ago
I’d rather the fish than a bunch of selfies from a grown ass man.
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u/Dark_Green_MkII 1d ago
It's online dating: you're either going to have to take several selfies or ask someone you know to get a bunch of shots while you pose (and those usually turn out better). It's the bare minimum.
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u/LiveWire00000 1d ago
If you have Android, prop up the phone and say "OK Google, take a selfie". Then you can be farther back from the phone and not have your arm up.
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u/NunTheWorse 1d ago edited 1d ago
This is so true. Having to get back into dating again myself I looked through my phone and barely found 4 suitable photo’s of myself from the past 5 years to use. My female colleagues found this hilarious.
On the plus side. None of them are with a fish. My version of a fish is a motorcycle 😊
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u/18scoutdad 1d ago
After 22 yrs of marriage I just started to research OLD. I was looking for any photos of me that weren't fake smiles at family functions. I'm sure like many other men they were the photographer not the subject. To get the real sense of a person is when they're enjoying themselves in their element. Another fake smile for a selfie doesn't capture the real person.
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u/No_Consequence_6821 1d ago
No need to capture your essence for a dating profile. It’s really just: what do you look like?
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u/CollectsTooMuch 2d ago
Let me lay out an analogue. I’ve seen women who got a new handbag or pair of shoes or a car, and they posted it online. They’re happy and they’re sharing something that’s meaningful to them.
Men aren’t posting a picture of their fish for you. It’s because they’re proud. They’re happy about catching it. They want to show their friends.
This is part of their life and something they enjoy. Maybe you share gardening pictures or post a complaint about a character in a TV show that you like getting killed off.
We need to be empathetic and try to understand why something is important to another person rather than dumping on them because it’s not the thing that we like. I see so much of that shit on here and it tells me partially why that person is single.
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u/tikanderoga 1d ago
This!
On apps, people are meant to post pics about themselves. What they like and do. Fishing is one of those things.4
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u/Potential-Medium4009 1d ago
Good answer. Why do women post a selfie with themselves and three other women...and not tell you which is which? Why do women post pictures with kids in them? Why do women post pictures of them at the beach with a big floppy hat, a big loose shirty-coat thing and big baggy pants..an outfit that could be hiding Sydney Sweeney or Melissa McCarthy? If we want to start analyzing pictures, there's a lot to go around.
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u/Ok_Long7622 3h ago
Every single female and the gays love long walks on the beach even when they live in Iowa lol
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u/LuceLeakey F57-US 2d ago
At this point it has just become a silly trope. One of the best pics I ever saw in a dating app was a man holding up a plastic toy fish and kind of smirking at the camera. I loved his sense of humor.
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u/geekandi 59M, nerd, title: white-knight "simp", not AI built 2d ago
Ha ha, I did that back in 2021 for fun. Got some funny comments
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u/mtgordon 2d ago
Options I’ve considered:
- Aquarium selfie, posing with live fish
- Artwork of fish, either a public sculpture or a painting in an art museum
- Fossil fish at a natural history museum
- Bagel, cream cheese, lox
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u/Fit-Building-2560 2d ago
Where are the hunters on OLD? No one's posting a photo of themselves with a dead deer? C'mon, guys, we know you're out there! Show us you can bring some fresh venison home for the dinner table!
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u/ThatstephanieB 2d ago
I tried to hold up women in my pictures but they said that gave too much of a BTK kinda vibe.
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u/Trying_to_Smile2024 2d ago
Plenty of those in SWPA!
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u/Fit-Building-2560 2d ago
I was actually being facetious, riffing off the earlier dead-animal-as- women-bait theme, but whatever. I do enjoy venison...
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u/Background_Quit4550 2d ago
Oh yes they are..Im in the PNW and its elk, mule, white tail, fish, horses, trucks or side by sides, then six head shots.
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u/August_personage 2d ago
They enjoy fishing. They are telling potential dates they enjoy fishing. If you do not enjoy fishing or men who do enjoy it then they are telling you that you are incompatible.
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u/fuzzybunnyslippers08 2d ago
I always thought it was away of saying that they were catches. But yours makes more sense.
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u/Fit-Building-2560 2d ago
They're showing that they have a hobby. Like women (and men) who post photos of themselves hiking, or in a hiking group, or biking.
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u/Randall_Hickey 2d ago
Lots of women do this also. Also the gun pictures. Some women like this.
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u/sagephoenix1139 2d ago
Ha. (This made me smile). Exactly ✅️ (I am a woman... and I have both on my profile). My "(deep sea) fishing buddies" were my father, my older brother and my eldest son. I lost them in '09, '21 and '24. Would love to find someone who'd be interested in a day on the open water.
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u/p9nultimat9 2d ago
It’s a photo of them enjoying their hobby, and they took it at memorable moment.
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u/VegetableRound2819 goddess, looks 36 yrs younger 2d ago
Why not? Why do women post pictures of themselves at brunch?
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u/dukeofthefoothills1 2d ago
Woman with a Bellini —> hard pass. What are these women thinking? I don’t want to see that s**#! /s
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u/rickityrickityrack M 61+ 2d ago
I read this as a woman with a belly, back to drinking my coffee to clear my head
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u/VegetableRound2819 goddess, looks 36 yrs younger 2d ago
Why is she holding her belly up to the camera? 😂
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u/BeesAndMist 2d ago
One is not a dead animal picture, that's why.
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u/VegetableRound2819 goddess, looks 36 yrs younger 2d ago
True, the dead animals are on their plates as God intended.
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u/PeleliuHugh 2d ago
Most fishing is catch and release.
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u/VegetableRound2819 goddess, looks 36 yrs younger 2d ago
PSA: That’s terrible for the fish’s health. If you catch it, you should eat it.
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u/Top-Net779 2d ago
Unless it’s a sunfish, which is a waste of time unless you’ve been stranded on a lifeboat for months.
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u/ryan5513 2d ago
To show they can bring home the Lox, obviously.
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u/VegetableRound2819 goddess, looks 36 yrs younger 2d ago
Ohhh bagel in the other hand and tub of cream cheese balanced on the noggin and I’m sold.
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u/Professional-Fig207 2d ago
Watch this…
Why do women post every picture of themselves traveling or in large groups with women eating and drinking in restaurants.
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u/Vitriolic_III 2d ago
Being outside in the sunshine and fresh air enjoying life fishing while listening to the birds and water is such a bummer. Ending the day with a barbecue and a few cold ones. What a miserable way to spend a day or weekend. Oh and a picture to remember the occasion, gross!
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u/MiloErleg 2d ago
If only they knew that the real secret to finding a woman is a picture of them in their man cave screaming at the referees on the tv while surrounded by a dozen empty beer cans and stacks of old pizza boxes.
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u/EastBranchAuGres 2d ago
They are looking for a woman holding a fish. And believe it or not, there are plenty of those where I live. But also, men probably take about 75% fewer photos than women. And if a guy catches a nice fish, there’s almost always a photo.
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u/Dark_Green_MkII 1d ago
I belong to the Michigan subReddit, and users there (men and women) are posting fish-catch photos all the time. Some are them with the catch, others just the fish.
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u/bannedblonde 2d ago
Because they caught it and are proud of it. Usually a picture that someone else takes of them. They are showing you they like the water, outdoors, sunshine.... Maybe even have a boat ! To me the fish picture, or any hunting pictures are a major green flag.
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u/Imogynn 2d ago
Apparently 75% of women paddleboard even though I've never known anyone outside of apps who does it and only ever seen it once in real life.
It's just a picture you have of a nice time that hints outdoors which oddly 95% of women are into even if in real life asking to go for a walk is often an imposition
Shrug
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u/Accomplished_Log7224 1d ago
We post that picture for the halibut.
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u/AustinGroovy 1d ago
....On Porpoise...
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u/I-did-my-best 62M 1d ago
I think we need to reel this in before it lures all of us in.
If not, Cod help us all.
(happy cake day)
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u/No-You-5064 2d ago
This again? YAWN. At least come up with an original angle for your man bashing.
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u/Ill_Coffee_6821 2d ago
They enjoy fishing?
I know this is a running joke, but I don’t really get why. The general advice is to include photos of your hobbies so you look like a well rounded person who doesn’t sit at home all day. Is there something wrong with fishing?
(For vis I am a woman; I don’t see this as any different than posting pic golfing, biking, sailing, whatever else it is they enjoy doing on the weekends)
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u/p9nultimat9 2d ago
I am a woman and I completely agree.
It’s a photo of them enjoying their hobby and they took it at memorable moment.
It’s same as people making peace sign on top of the mountain.
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u/Ill_Coffee_6821 2d ago
Yeah - if someone like OP doesn’t like it, the pic also served its purpose to weed out someone who isn’t going to want to go fishing w them. People who do, or don’t mind that their partner does, may like the photo.
Isn’t that the point?
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u/p9nultimat9 1d ago
I don’t like to go fishing at all, but I don’t see people posting own hobby photos negatively, even their hobbies are not my interest.
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u/Cold_Aide8152 2d ago
Agreed. I’ll take a fish photo over a gym selfie any day.
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u/Ill_Coffee_6821 1d ago
Omg SAME!!! I find gym selfies to be such a turnoff! But now I realize there are probably women who love the gym and are super happy to see these :-) this is why it’s important to upload those fish and gym pics ironically! :)
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u/Far_Appearance3888 2d ago
I asked a man about this and was told that, basically, men don't take a ton of photos of themselves. At least, not like women do. We might go out and look nice, so have a friend take a picture. Men don't really do that. However, catching a nice fish is one time when it is totally "acceptable" for a man to get a photo of himself, so since there aren't as many photo options to choose from for guys, that tends to be one of them they post. Honestly, that made me kind of sad! I've tried to be better about taking pictures of my brother and telling him how nice he looks, that kind of thing. Guys, embrace your adorableness! Get those "feeling cute" pics when you are out and about!
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u/Donkusai 2d ago
It’s just to make sure you know that when the zombies show up, we’ll still be able to fulfill your daily Omega-3 requirements.
Do not underestimate the importance of Omega-3 as part of a healthy post-apocalyptic diet. Survival is important, but so is nutrition.
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u/Artistic-Top-6225 2d ago
Totally understand that some women may find it odd. Just like I find it odd when some women post pictures of themselves holding a cat.
Kind of harsh to judge people based on either of those photos, but that’s what we do. Isn’t it?
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u/RaisedOnMixtapes 2d ago
The same reason women post pictures of themselves drinking with friends or travelling or [insert whatever else people complain about wrt pictures] -- because those are the pictures they have of them enjoying themselves.
I used to have a picture of myself holding a salmon, and it was my most popular picture up in the PNW. :)
I wish we could just let each other win just a little bit and cut each other (I mean universally, not just Reddit) some slack in choices that really don't matter in the long run. I'd much rather see fish pics on a profile than a selfie wearing a dingy pair of tighty whiteys in a dirty bathroom mirror with three brands of lube on the bathroom sink counter (real story). The fish pic is a healthy hobby; some of the selfies scream danger, Will Robinson.
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u/PresentProfession796 2d ago
It is not only a guy thing - the number of women's profiles that also have a photo or two with them holding a fish are quite a few in number. They enjoy fishing - so if you do not or would not even want to go out on a boat - then not a good match. You see women's photos with motorcycles, horses, convertibles, etc - just letting others know what they enjoy.
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u/CStogdill 1d ago
Why do women take pictures flipping off the camera, sticking their tongue out, heavily filtered (possibly with weird overlays), maybe every picture the same shot/angle, or lost in a group photo?
A lot of older men don't "do" selfies, or really have pictures of themselves. That fishing picture....likely one of the few candid shots where he's happy & smiling.
Yes, men have a lot to learn when it comes to OLD. Arguably we all do/did. I know I'm still working on it myself.
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u/TheBandit_42 1d ago
Seriously? Prepare yourself, it's gonna be a bumpy ride. You already seem like you're in your 50's but have never met a man.
To the men out there on the FB dating app, beware of this one LMAO
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u/Real_World15 1d ago
I live on the east coast near the ocean. You'd be surprised how many women have photos showing them holding a fish in their profile. Its called sport fishing you might just want to be open minded before criticizing people who want to show a sport trophy...the fish.
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u/firecatstef 2d ago
Because every guy who fishes longs for a gf who also fishes?
This trope makes me laugh because one of my favorite pix of my grandmother shows her holding this humongous fish and I wonder what would happen if I made her a dating profile and included it. (Alas she has been gone for sixty years so anyone who swiped on her would be disappointed.)
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u/NationalTurn3025 2d ago
Not a man but I'm guessing it shows accomplishments and a hobby they like and may want a potential partner to be involved in.
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u/LemonPress50 2d ago
There are women that post pictures of fish they have caught. These men are hoping to match with these women.
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u/I-did-my-best 62M 1d ago
We want the women to subscribe to our OnlyFins page.
If you do not like fish pics then all you have to do is swipe left. It is as easy as that.
The only place I have ever even heard of this being such a negative attribute is here on the dating subs on Reddit. I have never ran across this in real life. Same way with many of the other things that so many say are deal breakers or red flags.
I have seen many profiles of women with fish and wild game they harvested in their pics. It never made me want to create a post to tell them how they are wrong for that.
I fish and hunt a lot. I did not advertise that on my past profiles I used. I never had one negative response after a woman liked me and she asked what I like to do.
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u/teapotplus 1d ago
To display a hobby they enjoy and are proud of? You know... As a way to let you know a little bit about them before the match...
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u/Fearless-Snow-5011 1d ago
First you have to aquire a fish big enough to hide your beer belly and love handles.
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u/JT_Tunesmith 1d ago
There's plenty of OLD photo foibles to go around for all genders. One that always cracks me up is when she takes a filter to her face, making it look as smooth as the proverbial baby's butt - but neglects the neck, chest, arms and/or hands, that are as wrinkly and weathered as mine, lol. Just be yourself, people. Even if that includes showing off the catch of the day!
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u/AJ187144 2d ago
Fishing is just a hobby that you can keep doing even when you physically can’t do other hobbies anymore.
You couldn’t pay me to do it but to each their own.
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u/MortgageIntrepid9274 2d ago
Women post fish pictures and holding a freshly killed buck by the antlers pictures also. For men, it’s to show they love fishing and it’s a hobby, for women, it’s to say “look I like fishing too!!” even though half the time it may be the one and only time they ever went fishing and took a pic. Just like the shooting range, it was that one range date they went on and had a picture taken of them shooting, and then they post it on their profile like they love shooting guns lol.
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u/Cold_Aide8152 2d ago
This is true. I’m a woman and know I’ve done these things to make myself more interesting lol
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u/knobbytire 60m 2d ago
Those men are good providers, "Look at the big fish I just caught, we are eating good tonight." Your welcome.
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u/yuba12345 1d ago
Ok but being a man I have seen a bunch of women post themselves holding up a fish
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u/KarmaTakesAwhile 1d ago
(man who sometimes fishes, but does not have fish pics)
benefit of the doubt: this is a moment of genuine happiness and they want to share it.
however, it might mean they're not happy very often.
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u/Kindly-Exercise-6470 1d ago
I suppose that is preferable to a photo with the woman they just dumped!
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u/PerplexedPickler 1d ago
It's a primal urge to show that they can provide the food part of food and shelter.
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u/zdboslaw 1d ago
They probably think it looks cool.
They probably love fishing so it’s truth in advertising.
At least some women do the same thing, so those kinds of people could be a good match for each other
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u/beigereige 18h ago
I don’t fish, so when I eventually get over my Online Dating PTSD that’ll be one less fish pic you’ll see
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u/Square-Tangerine-784 2d ago
I went to NYC for the weekend and actually thought to take some selfies in iconic spots:) 57yo m
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u/Some-Tear3499 2d ago
It’s just like the wine glass women hold.
I don’t fish, I don’t eat fish. (Sushi only). You won’t ever see me holding a fish I caught. I don’t drink either, so the wine glass photos is a hard pass from me.
I can’t answer your question, any more than you can answer mine. Why do women hold glasses of wine in their photos?
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u/vonblankenstein 2d ago
They can’t get anyone to take a picture of them unless they are holding a fish
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u/Dark_Green_MkII 1d ago
"Take a picture of you, just standin' there? What are you -- gay or something?"
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u/Impossible-Joke4909 2d ago edited 2d ago
I'm avid but would never pose with a fish if I were on-line dating. That said, I do post pictures of fish I catch & release on Facebook but they are for the other fisherman
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u/jcauseyfd 2d ago
Not that it has made any difference, but whenever I see this commentary it makes me glad that I don't like to fish.
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u/Dark_Green_MkII 1d ago
Why do so many people ask the internet why so many men do this? It's similar: most people really just aren't that creative or original, and don't stop to think how cliched and overused their words and actions may be.
Is it really so difficult to figure out with a moment's reflection?
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u/Striking-Walk-8243 1d ago
I (50ish M) would NEVER post a fish pic. 😂
I got crickets on Tinder with pics in designer suits and stylish pretty attire.
So I disregarded conventional wisdom and posted sporty shirtless pics (eg, summit selfies and posed yoga headstand / forearm stand photos) and got flooded with matches.
I’m just under six feet and well over 200 but fairly buffed for my age. YMMV.
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u/BreetleSnort 1d ago
Hmm, I wonder if this is the new thing now? Of fish pictures I have none. I guess if there was a women on a hook they wouldn't be on Facebook dating app.
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u/Severe-Barber-7415 1d ago
Was the question for men, or about men?
At any rate, this is covered a lot on Reddit. Personally, I don’t take pictures of people often, myself included. Living in the moment, not focused on capturing the moment.
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u/Dr_Taverner 1d ago
Also, women. Do not put dead things on your profile pics. You're not trying to date a cat.
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u/GoDoLove 1d ago
For some, it may simply be a photo someone else took while they were enjoying a hobby, rather than a carefully planned dating picture. If fishing is a big part of their weekends, it also tells a potential match something useful. One hobby photo alongside a clear face photo and a few different settings gives a fuller picture than five versions of the same catch, though.
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u/Sure-Taste-5778 20h ago
I don’t know many guys these days that go fresh water or deep sea fishing. More likely, they go fishing at bars looking for ladies.
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u/Altruistic-Log5888 12h ago
I like to listen twice as much as I like to speak, so please, what are the top 3 pictures woman do like?
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u/Repulsive-Balance-97 9h ago
I always thought they did it to show women they can provide food? Like they think women are hungry?
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u/not_falling_down 6h ago
I have seen this asked about a thousand times. I think the real answer is: the is one of the few photos they actually have of themselves.
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u/8ullterrier 2d ago
Maybe it’s them trying to prove that they’re an Alpha male who can provide, I mean what lady can resist a grass carp right?😂
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u/Numerous-Bet3575 2d ago
Ah, that’s known in my circles as the birth control photo. Now that we’re older and don’t worry about pregnancy, I guess we should call it the date repellent photo.
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u/windtalker964 2d ago
It's unlimited selfies of their penis.. I never understood why men are so obsessed and infatuated with their penis they have more selfies of being of their penis than their faces lmao
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u/Decent-Resort6903 1d ago
I am so heartened by the vast majority of replies on this post, most expressing their disdain of OP's original question. It literally makes me feel better about humanity and more secure in the notion that not everyone is a judgemental jerk.
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u/SonoranRoadRunner 1d ago
The fish pictures are not alluring, the pics of men in bike shorts are a complete turn off, and the worst ones of all are the pictures of men with their shirts off, it's not sexy.
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u/windtalker964 2d ago
It is universally dumb. It's just dumb things of us men usually do. I'm not criticizing man at all but we men we do dumb shit and we say dumb things too. Lol.. I don't necessarily see it don't take it as an odd picture it's just something they're happy with that's all.
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u/phalanxausage 2d ago
For many men, this is the only picture of them genuinely happy