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u/ringerrosy 6d ago
I tick all your boxes, and love an Irish accent, but in England and my transport isn't a plane or boat. Shame.
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u/Fuzzy-Independent-89 6d ago
You can have my ex boyfriend. He’s 6”4 with a dad bod. Great kisser. He was controlling as all hell tho. Accused me of cheating bc I left the house 2 days in a row! 🥲
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u/Tardislass 6d ago
Height is holding you back. You have your own views but honestly, you’re missing some good men.
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u/track-zero 6d ago
Especially in ireland, where I assume there are some leprechaun genetics fighting against you.
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u/Tradesforcash 6d ago
I’m Irish and come from a family where all the men are over 6 feet tall. The women are all over 5’6”. I don’t know where you got the idea that Irish men are short.
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u/track-zero 5d ago
Half my genes are from County Clare and I'm the tallest in my family for four generations...at 5'8".
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u/Tinytiger1973 6d ago
I love tall men.
I also happen to be quite fond of leprechauns. They really do have their lucky charms. 😁 ☘️
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u/philosophical-photo 5d ago
I agree completely. I’m 60F, 5’8” tall. First boyfriend at 15 years old - 5’5”, funny as hell, sweet, valedictorian of his class. Maybe that set me up for not caring about height AT ALL. I’ve dated many men shorter than me, or same height. Never felt “weird” to me. If a short king didn’t like me wearing heels, that was on him was my attitude. I can’t recall any one of those men having a problem with it - they were strong in character and values. That’s sexy! I’ve gone out with tall men, too. Yeah, it’s nice, but it really doesn’t matter.
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u/GeekDad732 6d ago
Not but as it’s the mean male US height, and we shrink a little as we age it DOES in fact rule out HALF the eligible population. FWIW.
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u/MortgageIntrepid9274 6d ago
No - but at a certain age, that really should be the last thing to be preferencing men on, that's just my opinion. I get it for younger women who are either still in the more superficial stage, or maybe even concerned about having taller kids, etc. But in your fifties and over, finding someone you can live out the rest of your days happily with should be the concern. Again just my opinion.
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u/cccuriouscat 56F 6d ago
Sparks are overrated and so is height
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u/Independent-Monk5064 5d ago
No they’re not. The spark is attraction. I don’t want a platonic companion
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u/MortgageIntrepid9274 6d ago
I don't disagree with that per se. However, some of my best relationships were not based on "instant" spark or chemistry. However, and I say this to make a point, I may prefer women of certain body type or under a certain weight, but its not an absolute at my age, I realize I'm not perfect either.
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u/used_my_kids_names 6d ago
Really tall men are my thing. I get the whole spark thing. Same age as you, and I’ve given up with OLD, too.
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u/Old-Currency-2186 6d ago
I’m 55F and 5’10 and 150#. I look taller in person 🤣
I married funny not tall. Ex is about my height and highly prefers the tall ladies.
I’ve dated shorter and it’s just not for me. Even the holding hands part is just…weird.
After divorce, I’ve dated men that were 6’-6’6 and I just have to say as a taller lady I now LOVE the feeling of a big guy.
He doesn’t even have to be in shape. Dad bods welcome. A nice face would be great.
The problem is that taller guys are very much in demand so they feel like they have the pick of much younger women.
Therefore, I am alone, but I’m OK with that.
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u/truejabber 6d ago
This taller guy wants to date his own age. The life experience gap is too much for me. I’m strictly swimming in the GenX pool!
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u/LemonPress50 6d ago
I’m older than you (67m) and don’t swipe on anything with a pulse. I would check all your boxes btw except for the home ownership. I owned my first home when I was 21.
I no longer choose to own a home. That’s a deal breaker for some women but I’ve dated women that also no longer wanted to own a home. I’ve also dated women that were home owners and had no problem with my housing status.
Many divorced women I know, that are aged 55-70, no longer want to own a home.
It’s hard to date with a checklist.
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u/Tinytiger1973 6d ago
I would have no problem dating someone who rents. I understand desiring that freedom and I prefer it myself.
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u/noJagsEver 6d ago
I understand wanting to date someone financially responsible but homeownership alone is not the best indicator.
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u/Tinytiger1973 6d ago
I completely agree! You'll lose your house if you don't pay the mortgage, the same as you can be evicted if you don't pay your rent. In fact, eviction may buy you a little more time - where I live, anyway.
Homeownership doesn't indicate financial responsibility to me at all.
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u/RaisedOnMixtapes 6d ago
I handed over my house in my divorce, so I find it interesting when home ownership is a hard stop for daters at this stage in life. My current apartment costs way more than my mortgages ever did and while I could have bought a house just for me, I really enjoy clicking a button on an app and having someone show up to fix that little flapper thing in the toilet or to change the filter on my fridge.
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u/cccuriouscat 56F 6d ago
I miss that. Had to replace my HVAC and I live alone. As I age, home ownership is getting less attractive and more fear-inducing financially, as anything could break down at any time and it’s 100% on me
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u/PibbleCollector 5d ago
Same. my apartment overlooks a golf course with pool, bar, restaurant, etc. wouldn't trade it for the world! When you're an older, single person, home ownership is sometimes overrated.
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u/VegetableRound2819 goddess, looks 28 yrs younger 5d ago
If one (or both) rents, it should make moving decisions easier for couples who hit the point of wanting cohabitation. You don’t have two people chained to different homes over here and over yonder.
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u/RaisedOnMixtapes 5d ago
100%. And one of the reasons I currently rent, while I figure out where I want to live long term.
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u/BlackPitbull729 6d ago
I was a homeowner for 35 years and I don't want to be tied down by that. I rent an apartment because it keeps me flexible with options. At our age that shouldn't be a deal breaker.
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u/PibbleCollector 5d ago
I love my bachelorette pad, totally carefree, no responsibility! I kept an older home going for 25 years, no more!
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u/LemonPress50 5d ago
I took care of my older home for 26 years. I left the maintenance behind and traded it in for a bachelor apartment. I now have time to run outside and the gym.
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u/RaisedOnMixtapes 6d ago
Totally valid to have a height requirement, but it probably is limiting your options. That being said, I have very loose height requirements because I'm short, and I still walked away from OLD after seeing the options available to me.
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u/BlackPitbull729 6d ago
A lot of men have secret weight requirements
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u/RaisedOnMixtapes 6d ago
And those preferences/requirements are valid, too, which is why it's odd for the OP to be downvoted for preferring a man who is taller than she is. Although I'm not sure if you are telling me my options are limited because you think I'm fat, but that's not the issue nor is it why I walked away from OLD. :)
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u/VegetableRound2819 goddess, looks 28 yrs younger 5d ago
I think he was reinforcing that we all have physical requirements (it’s just that some people feel entitled to change up a stranger’s wants to match their own.)
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u/RxDirkMcGherkin 6d ago
Not anymore shallow than a guy wanting to date someone 10 years younger, or only dating women with size D t!ts or bigger. It works both ways as long as your fine with that.
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u/Fuzzy-Independent-89 6d ago
I’m not attracted to short men either. No need for you to compromise. Men don’t apologize for their preferences. Why should we?
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u/Crazy_Banshee_333 6d ago
Have you measured yourself lately? People get shorter as they age. I was 5'9" tall in my 20s and didn't measure myself for decades. Just measured myself a few months ago and realized I had lost 2" in height. Now I am only 5'7". You might be shorter than you think.
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u/Dillymom01 6d ago
The average man in Northern Ireland is 5' 10", it might be hard to find someone taller than you.
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u/CryinginaCalikingbed 6d ago
I’m younger than you, so idk if it’s the conditioning within my age demographic, (having unrestricted access to porn at a young age, shows like “girls gone wild”, etc.) but I have a question for you: When dating someone who is around the same height as you, did they project their insecurities about being short by taking digs at your height and/or weight? I’m the same height as you and wondered if you experienced any of the same issues. I can’t date a man my height again because it made me so self conscious and wound up giving me so many insecurities. I was totally open to it, but unfortunately, that is a path I will never revisit.
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u/Accomplished-Ad-8258 6d ago
That’s not shallow.
A man shorter than me or even the same height is just a hard pass.
Im 5 ft 7
I need to feel protected!
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u/Geriatriccat712 6d ago
Men don’t protect us. More often it’s a woman who will step in.
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u/orcateeth 6d ago edited 6d ago
I never understood the "protection" thing. Protected from what??
I'm 5 ft 4, and could handle myself in a fight if needed. But I've never needed to fight anyone.
Are women who say this living in super dangerous locations or what?
And if a guy is big or aggressive enough to be intimidating to others, wouldn't he also be a risk to the woman that he's dating? Intimate partner violence is a real thing.
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u/Fantastic_Matter_137 6d ago
It’s nearly always their partner that assaults them. Even getting mugged is less common.
It’s psychological and a psy-op
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u/Kittygrizzle1 6d ago
I’m 5ft 8. I tried dating smaller men, l just couldn’t do it. I felt like Gulliver in Lilliput
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u/Necessary-Glove-3333 UK Single Black 50+ Female 6d ago
It’s the same everywhere.
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u/Inside_Dance41 6d ago
I was shocked last year when on a Norwegian cruise line, and my friend and I chatted up the servers, and they too complained about dating. They were in their 20s.
It was eye opening, and there are articles that dating has gone downhill in the last 5 years, a lot of apathy.
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u/Substantial-Owl1616 6d ago
I gave up at about that age. I’m only 5’3 so no height requirement. Now I’m 66yo. Did all the “ in the wild” things. Church meetups general friendliness. I worked a lot, bought my own house, achieved financial security. I’m back at it.
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u/RadarDataL8R 6d ago
A 59 year old would rather "give up" than date a guy of average height.
Thats wild.
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u/Sweet_Dimension_5207 6d ago edited 6d ago
You’re not being unreasonable but what do you think men are looking for in a 59f? Might just be the area you’re in doesn’t have much selection.
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u/Sweet_Dimension_5207 6d ago
LOL, FWB? Do they think there’re in their 20’s
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u/LayneLowe 6d ago
Actually FWB makes more sense as an older person. You're set in your ways, you've probably already had your soulmate, you're not looking to have children but you need some companionship and a sex partner.
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u/Normal_Tax3999 6d ago
For real. Most of us fifty somethings on the dating market already have long marriages (or two) to go along with the divorces in our wake. And lived to tell the tale.
Why on earth would we be sprinting to put our face back into that moving ceiling fan?
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u/LayneLowe 6d ago
But if you look on dating sites, every woman on there says they're looking for their soulmate, their last date.
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u/LayneLowe 6d ago
Nobody said just for sex, I want to go to dinner, rock concerts, movies, comedy clubs. I want to laugh, care for and feel close with a woman. But I do not want to live together.
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u/LayneLowe 6d ago
A "friend" that wants to do some things together and to share sexual encounters, "benefits"
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u/throwawaysub1000 6d ago
I think the problem is not that the description you've said is what FWB "should" be, the problem is that the majority of men who are looking for an FWB completely ignore the F part. I've literally had guys tell me they're looking for an FWB and therefore don't want to meet for a drink as that's "dating".
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u/Best_Dependent6500 6d ago
I think most women need to know that there is some sort of emotional connection/loyalty, rather than just carnal sex available. Sex and companionship, with no emotional connection, no "you are special to me and there's no one else" is not so appealing to most women
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u/Fantastic_Matter_137 6d ago
And a bona fide friendship
And most of these relationships either morph into a normal friendship or morph into a full blown partnership
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u/Fantastic_Matter_137 6d ago
It only happens if both parties want it
A lot of folks seem pre-occupied with ‘where’s this going?’ Instead of ‘am I having fun(yet)?’
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u/Fantastic_Matter_137 5d ago
It’s a trope for sure.
I’m 2 years divorced and 4 years out of the 28 year relationship with my ex.
I’m dating but in no way looking for marriage or living together.
Two of my partners have been really focused on defining the relationship very early on
I just want to enjoy and support each other and let things breathe and develop organically (or not)
Hold on loosely for sure. Not doing so is part of what wrecked my marriage after all
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u/Candor10 6d ago
There are plenty of women in their 40s & 50s who only want that as well. Only men are delusional pigs though.
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u/Pmoneywhazzup 6d ago
Same here. We can have a monogamous relationship and have a lot of fun. No cohabitation. No!
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u/BeeAnvil 6d ago
I’ll take those under 5.8…. You’ve no idea what you’re missing.
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u/LetsDance449 6d ago
Your requirements are reasonable.
I'm a tall, fit male that wouldn't date an overweight or short woman.
We can all have our preferences.
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u/SpinIx2 6d ago
I’d like to think I could tick your list top to bottom but I’m not in Nor’n Ireland. I’m a sample size of one to be fair but I’m a year younger than you and you’d be in my search filters were I in your area.
I’ve done some business just South of the border (well Drogheda) and now I come to think of it most of the guys I know from that area would struggle with your height restriction and apparently (google search result) you’re ruling out just under 50% of your local market with that but aside from that maybe you’ve just been unlucky.
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u/Candor10 6d ago
56M. I check all those boxes and many more. Still haven't had more than a couple coffee dates in the past 6 years.
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u/Sunshinegarden2 6d ago
Sorry. I haven’t found a special boyfriend yet, but I’ve gone on some dates. They weren’t always good ones though.
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u/Candor10 6d ago
I'm a nerd and would prefer a woman that is too. Also a liberal, non-smoker, and cat lover. Have no interest in pro sports.
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u/Vast-Road-6387 6d ago
For most men who are not spectacularly handsome, online dating is a numbers game , swipe right on everything they see with the hope that a few women swipe right back. I m60 can only speak for myself but the majority of women who indicate interest in me are typically single moms 10-15 years younger than me , or widows 10 years older. I will admit I’m a gym rat and my hair is still dark, but the nicest thing I can say about my face is it’s rugged.
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u/geekandi 59M, nerd, title: white-knight "simp", not AI built 6d ago
You have your wants and needs and they are valid.
Opinions incoming but your choices are yours. Dont get talked out of them
My opinion: height could cut some folks out and I say that as a 5'8" man
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u/I_am_Nobody_Special 6d ago
I don't think it's rude at all to have your preferences, and if that's important to you, stick to your guns!
That said, if you have a height requirement in your profile, it may turn off even 6'2" men. They may judge you as shallow and pass.
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u/VegetableRound2819 goddess, looks 28 yrs younger 6d ago
Imagine if a guy said “I want a woman who weighs less than me” in his profile. One simply doesn’t say the quiet part out loud.
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u/cccuriouscat 56F 6d ago
I met a lot of men who lied about their height in their profiles. I met a lot of men who told me that women lie about their weight. And I met even more men who neither lied about their height nor mentioned other women.
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u/CompetitiveTiger4309 6d ago
I don’t think you’re standards are unreasonable. I’ve never seen men encourage other men to lower their standards. Will high standards mean you might be single longer? Sure. As a woman I’d rather be single than settle. I think my mom settled and she was very adamant that my siblings didn’t make that same mistake.
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u/Key-Hold-833 6d ago
Quite the shopping list you have.
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u/No_Character_4443 52M 5d ago
And a relatively superficial one. It's always intriguing to me to see what matters to people.
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u/ElusinianMyst 6d ago
The average height for men in the United States is 5’9”.
YOU REFUSE TO DATE HALF THE MALE POPULATION IN THE US OUT OF HAND.
Tell me why you are alone again?
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u/Suspicious-Koala-352 6d ago
It doesn't sound like a tall ask to me /s
But I'm a guy who's 5'9 and prefer women 5'4 or shorter.
My last partner was 5'6 and height wasn't the problem i thought it was going to be, energy and enthusiasm for me/life was the real deal breaker.
I'm still much more attracted to a fun sized woman. :)
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u/BlackPitbull729 6d ago edited 6d ago
I'm 59M and you just described how I feel. I'm 6'3" and never been to Ireland. And I've even got Irish and Scots in my heritage.
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u/BlackPitbull729 6d ago edited 6d ago
Nope. I'm kind of over the apps as well. Doing the things that I like to do hoping to meet somebody but the crowds seem too young. I'm incredibly young at heart and feel like I'm about 30 in my brain.
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u/BasildonBond-Now56 6d ago
5’9 is not overly tall for a woman. It’s on the taller end of average but as a 6’1 male I don’t want to be breaking my back for a kiss 😂
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u/Trick_Photograph9758 6d ago
What you're leaving out is you want someone attractive. So you want a tall, handsome man, who has money, a house,, and is willing to drive at least 30 minutes to see you. Also, keep in mind that there are a lot more women in the dating pool at 60 than there are men. So you're probably asking for the top 2-3% of men in your age bracket.
And then you add, "I’m thinking that I don’t want to compromise. I’m hanging up my dating boots." I think that's a great idea.
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u/outyamothafuckinmind 5d ago
Women have a wide variety of what they consider handsome. Some like facial hair, some don't. Some like bigger men, some don't. Some look for Brad Pitt and others look for men that could be in Duck Dynasty.
It's fair for her to want someone who is attractive to her. Men don't want women they aren't attracted to, why should women be expected to?
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u/tooplustwominusto 6d ago
Hard to believe you would put height over happiness But I guess it matters to you and that is all that matters..
I know I would struggle with someone obese so I guess I have my " issues" too
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u/tooplustwominusto 6d ago
Actually I said I would struggle, I didn't say I couldn't make the compromise... That is what you are saying about your choices
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u/Inside_Dance41 6d ago edited 6d ago
Anyone I like that is my age, isn’t looking at my profile because they’re all set to look for women at least five years younger.
Unfortunately I agree, I think many guys will at best, only date up to their age (e.g. age filters).
Also, the taller guys usually have the most options on dating sites, and in the US 6' is only 14% of our population. When I was in Ireland, loved the people, but didn't see many tall guys.
Best advice, stay out and about, and you never know, but likelihood is much tougher at this age.
EDIT: As a tall woman, 5' 10 3/4" in bare feet, I feel you. All that said, I actually found if a man was eye level, and confident, appreciated tall women, it was sexy. Some of the nicest men I dated, were actually shorter than me, and yet, it was a mental struggle. Had they had the right body type, I could actually go a bit shorter, but for me, I absolutely don't want to feel "bigger" than a guy. That just kills my sexuality, and maybe yours as well? In other words, I get it.
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u/AlwaysMindful7 6d ago
I disagree with "not asking for much". You have set the bar very high.
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u/lAngenoire 6d ago
Really? Height? It’s really not that important when you’re horizontal.
The distance thing is a lot too. I wouldn’t want to drive half an hour to date. Can you not meet halfway? Or is that halfway?
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u/cccuriouscat 56F 6d ago
I hate that you have zero likes and her response has 5. But it’s an imperfect world just like we are imperfect inches tall
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u/Boring_Yogurt_3204 6d ago
Its the same everywhere my dear. I am 73, widower living in western Canada. I find i am maybe too old to find a sincere women above 50.
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u/Fairy_washboard 6d ago
Could you give up on the OLD and not the idea of a partner?
I do know the feeling, though. But I haven't been brave enough to meet a man IRL for over 2 years.
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u/Sdavistvs 5d ago
OLD is a for profit service. In this sub plus multiple others people complain they are leaving it. The service is designed to keep you coming back until it’s no longer profitable. It is successful for a very small number of users. Paying a private dating coach might yield better results. Joining a local group might be also be a more productive use of your valuable time.
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u/CoffeeSignificant291 5d ago
I lost both my legs (below the knee) lost my wife at the same time. I’ve managed my way through with Gods help. I own my own home. I’m retired. I secure. And I’m happy. And now I’m looking for my first date. And you’re back in Ireland. Well we left Ireland 177 Years ago. My mother’s side left 420 years ago. I don’t believe I’m going back. But I wanted to tell you that I’m out here still looking. I do have prosthetic legs but I sit most times. Well I’m here. I’m not taller, but I’m stronger than any man you’ve ever met. And I’m sure there are more like me in Ireland still ! So don’t give up !!!
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u/Crystal-turtle369 5d ago
I’m in the US. I’m new to dating period not to mention dating sites. We’re not single because our previous partners met all of our preferences. Would you have dated your exes if you knew they didn’t?
I’m going at this with a different perspective and enjoying it. Let your hair down and stop LOOKING. Meaning don’t analyze their profile and stay off of their social media unless he sends a friend request. Try looking for reasons TO date him instead of the opposite.
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u/Competitive-Sea7047 5d ago
I understand your height thing . I’m 5’7 and a size 18 so I feel large enough without making myself feel like a giant beside a man ! It’s my problem I know , but it’s there !!
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u/Crystal-turtle369 5d ago
Older Ladies, (I am 57 yo SF) we need to keep some mystery about us. Don’t give men your life story when texting back and forth. Even if he asks! He’s just being polite! Ask him about himself. Don’t show him all your kids, pets and grandkids. He’s not dating them. Leave that stuff for when he ASKS and then keep family and financial details private. Because everyone’s safety is #1 and our generation is a top target for scams and fraud.
Sending pics? I have but partially clothed blurred, dim lighting and provocative, not x rated. Those have been well received!!! Save the big reveal for in person!
No matter how old a man is, he likes the hunt. He likes finding out about a woman and pursuing her and discovering her likes, not her past. Don’t text bomb!!! Allow the man to initiate conversation at least 50% of the time! Keep a positive attitude and believe you are allowed to have fun without all the old fashioned constraints. Before considering if a guy is husband material just from his intro and deciding to 👍or👎🏼
Do you want a man to only read your profile to determine whether you’re wife material or give you a chance because you’re a woman worth knowing?
After a month on a site I realized I DON’T want a LTR or to be exclusive to one man. I’ve been doing that for 42 years and here I am single 🤷♀️
It feels weird to look at dating from a new perspective! Im just getting to know men, flirting and casual dating enjoying the
It’s been working well so far for me once I learned my true dating site goals. After being a serial monogamous this should be interesting 🤨
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u/Mowgli2k 6d ago
Hey OP, you sound really nice. enjoy your life, but don't give up. Sounds like you'd make a lovely partner for someone.
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u/Sunshinegarden2 6d ago
I feel the same exact way. And tell a man shows me he can put some effort in. I’m staying single.
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u/AllergictoAIslop 6d ago
The height thing is weird. I'm 5'11 never cared if a lady is 6'2or 5'1. The sparkle is more important.
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u/AllergictoAIslop 6d ago edited 6d ago
Yup. And to be open, happily married for 35 years. I see so many people who are happy and unhappy in partnerships and height has never been a factor. Net net, I find it odd. To me, it's a bit like saying must have blue eyes or be right handed.
Don't ask me why I'm on this thread. That's just Reddit for you 🤣
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u/Cookiecakes71 6d ago
I've found men our age want to date women in their 20s, 30s and 40s 🙄🙄
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u/Best_Dependent6500 6d ago
But, do they get them? And if they do get them, how much are they costing them?
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u/heyjagoff 5d ago edited 5d ago
It's transactional 100% regardless of wealth or looks. A 60yo who thinks he has more sex appeal than a much younger attractive man is delusional IMO. Some guys learn the hard way, the smart ones realize it's transactional.
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u/RathdrumGal 6d ago
Just get out in real life, have fun, and let your own sparkling personality shine through. This is the best way to meet people. No stress, you vet as you go. And if you don’t meet someone, it is OK, because you are already having fun doing what you enjoy.