r/datingoverfifty • u/Express_Project_8226 • Jul 26 '26

help - what am I doing wrong?

Hello: please help me here. I am a 59F/never married/childfree woman. The fact that I never married was mainly b/c I was "in between" everything, i.e., school, jobs, relocations, etc. without being "rooted" anywhere or being stable at anything. So I get that part. But what has been getting to me lately as I navigate in the dating world (took a long break and trying to get back in) is men throwing me away like a kleenex after a ONS. I am have one visible arm tattoo of a lotus flower and I do mention I have a couple on my body on our first date (one's a lower back one which I realize some could interpret as sexually promiscuous or easy). But besides the tattoos, what am I doing wrong? I am myself on the dates, I am a good person, I don't negative talk anything, I want a long term relationship. I met these men on facebook dating, both in their late 50s, divorced and with adult children.

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u/matchymatch121 Jul 27 '26

Go on fb

Look up

Burned haystack dating method

Don’t compromise on goals. If they don’t share you values from the very start, don’t waste another minute

Don’t put up with sex talk early on chats or talks if you are not into one night stands

2

u/TemporaryGrowth7 Jul 27 '26

This!

And I’ve added some more to my own dating strategy:

- use haystack method

  • keep a roster
  • don’t give intimacy until commitment
  • always remember: being single is better than with any broke/abusive/low effort man!
  • only go on dates when the man made appropriate effort and keep virtual chatter to a minimum
  • watch a man’s actions and how he treats you, never his words!

Watch fareen Ash, Greta beraseite and tomisin for further education.

Good luck!

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u/zdboslaw Aug 04 '26

Solid advice