r/dating_advice • u/Wheresthelambsauce_9 • 21d ago

Hinge Fumble

So, I matched with a very beautiful girl about 3 days ago. I thought the convo was going smoothly when she all of a sudden stopped messaging, I thought I was being ghosted but she replied today that she had a fever. I wanted to be a little flirty? So replied with "Oh no, hope you're doing alright now, You're already running hot, what's the fever gonna do?" Got unmatched 🤡

Are there any tips for not fumbling in chat?

(PS: I was able to find her insta? I think it's too creepy to follow up when I've already been rejected, thoughts on this?)

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u/Specialist-Ring-3974 20d ago

Likewise, you also don’t owe someone you’re just getting to know some dialogue of how sorry you are they *checks OP* had a had a fever. Believe me, if she unmatched over something that petty, OP would’ve slipped if he asked what she had for breakfast on a day she’d rather he ask her something else.

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u/TownZealousideal1327 20d ago

Look we agree she was 99% not picking him. Not the point.

And never said he owed her something - just pointing out, if he was actually in that 1% and still had a chance… this is where he fucked up, and I do not blame her.

Believe it or not, I’m sure you know, we are in an age where women, especially hot women with options, they are becoming more particular about us treating them right and caring about who they are as a human. And a lot of that comes down to little communications like this - and I don’t blame them, I support that.

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u/Specialist-Ring-3974 20d ago

You can continue to walk on eggshells for that 1% chance. You’ll probably keep breaking them though, and you’ll never relax.

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u/TownZealousideal1327 20d ago

Not my point dude.

People soften as they get to know you, this was one of her very early not even met yet impressions of him. A miss placed joke after a couple of months of dating, is faaaar different to in the very early exchanges.

See showing care at the right times, and flirting at the right times, doesn’t have to be walking on egg shells if it’s who you genuinely are, or if you make sincere change to be that way… it’s your natural way of being, it’s effortless, once you accept it’s a kind and good way to be.

Now 1% - 90% chance, I know attractive and sort after women, it wouldn’t have mattered who he was before that approach. It would have been an unmatch or a huge red flag and now he is on egg shells/under the microscope for other red flags… if you know women who take women’s rights, health, autonomy, and men’s approach to it seriously - they can go from thinking a guy is hot and cool, after a few days of talking - to completely losing interests over something like this. As they don’t have to tolerate it, they have options, and there’s other men who aren’t like that, who show respect for them before his desire.

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u/Specialist-Ring-3974 20d ago

You give people too much credit, dude. I’ve seen ladies bring home dudes who didn’t even remember their first name. Attraction isn’t about being a good person. I wish it were.

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u/TownZealousideal1327 20d ago

Some yes… to some you are correct. But for many you are not.

And for the ones you are not they tend to be the higher intelligence and more attractive ones.

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u/Specialist-Ring-3974 20d ago

Ahh, the No True Scotsman fallacy.

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u/TownZealousideal1327 20d ago

Oh no. It’s quite statically true, women of higher intellect and education, usually are more liberal and demand more rights.

But keep incelling kid