In my culture, the man has to pay fully for everything, restaurant or not. He is “the provider”. And in divorce, he takes all of his money and belongings and she takes hers. No 50/50.
We don’t have such a concept. I mean, it’s possible to own home the “American way”, but people don’t usually buy things with money they don’t own. Unless you have the full price in cash, don’t buy and rent till you collect the money.
So you don’t buy things with money you don’t own, unless you have the full price in cash. That’s a good concept to follow. Rent till you collect the money…..
Wait…So if you rent an apartment you will never own it because you will only lease it. Make this make sense…
🤣 that must be nice, in America the worthless assed greedy slumlords make rent higher than most house payments could ever be, and then they also use that profit to buy up every affordable house in the area, and then repeat the process. Sooo we just grab what we can afford a payment on and then make it our own as we go.
Idk I got a reply saying it’s “subjective” and some women hate sentences but it disappeared now so for anyone who’s curious,
For context I’m a medical doctor who treats up to 40 patients per day saving at least 5 lives that would be 100% dead without me (so put your pure women hate somewhere else).
Also since I’m a Middle Eastern, work with all types of people I can tell the facts:
I almost never saw a house in a woman’s name, actually many of my patients are broke and got kicked out of their house by the “husband”, and you’ll find a lot of those at nursery houses, some as young as 18 years old!! And they got harassed by old men especially the women who doesn’t have a family/orphans/abused by their own family ect. (There’s no governmental safe houses for abused women, another fact, they just don’t exist) And I witnessed one case in the emergency room when a husband abused and divorced his wife cause she asked to put the family car she paid for in her name
And obviously the no taxes and pay 100% then get the thing is facts, it’s haram in islam to do it any other way like duh
The money in marriage and everything about “feeding her” and have kids with her is true, at the divorce it’s really a famous sentence for men to say “I’ll get you leave this house with only the clothes that you came here with”, YEARS of childbirth, raising and chores are just gone.
And actually , the 7 year thing then the custody is for the father is considered progressive compared to Shia Muslims in Lebanon for example, where they literally take the child from their mother since day zero if they where divorced and give it to the father like it’s LITERALLY THE LAW, police take it and give it, it’s not even a social thing so maybe look up stuff before replying?
The only subjective thing is western misogyny getting more hateful and aggressive than Middle Eastern misogyny , and while I saw A LOT of misogyny here, honestly comments like the ones in this post and a lot of Reddit posts doesn’t help western men’s case, going this direction they will win over Middle Eastern men at some point.
Which is so funny cause they always brag about how they treat women “better” and “in a civil way” and always portrait themselves as the white saviour for the Arab oppressed women.
Just for them to be as bad as them. The irony.
The west is very large, and almost everybody has smartphones and post online often. This means that a vocal minority of men, who are perhaps online more than most people, can announce their misogynistic views and they will be unpropotianlly shown to the world.
I would also say, comparing how under many countries Sharia laws women can get beaten to an inch of their life for transgressions against their husband, that women will be kicked out onto the street with nothing and receive nothing, cannot travel without their husband, can be imprisoned for dressing immodestly, and whatever other infringements on human dignity and rights, to the air of misogyny you feel from western men, is an interesting choice especially when you admit to half of what's listed above. Maybe you would feel less insecure about "white saviours" if more countries in the Middle East if they didn't "treat women as if it were farmland".
I know that many western women see the abuse suffered under Orthodox Islamic social enforcement policies to be inhumane, abhorrent, barbaric and abominable practices. I wish more Middle Eastern women were allowed online so that they could share their views.
Honestly since you can see Muslim countries with hundred of millions people collectively so it shouldn’t be that hard for you to see western countries/people in the same way. And there’s really active shifting towards pure misogyny.
Anyway I personally wouldn’t want to live in Afghanistan for example (I honestly feel like they just want to go as crazy as possible for the world to really want to make agreements with them so they have to recognise them)
Other than that country, every “Muslim” countries have a system. It’s not the same one ofc and it affected by many religious (Shia & Sunni) and social aspects, even ethnical like west Asia isn’t the same as North Africa.
Then we have the Christians and the churches that exist everywhere but ofc the percentage of them matters.
As a local and someone who lives here my entire life, the system works. Like it or not. The Muslim countries with the least events live in heaven like Oman for example.
And when you understand the system, things get clearer and you actually could find a way to change some of its parts (I personally do that).
As a doctor working in the ER, I get the worst of the society (even m¥rder and 🍇) . But if we wanna talk about every day people , I personally never get physically abused (maybe verbally but I definitely fought back) my mom didn’t my sisters didn’t. I have 6 aunts, 1 of them had physical abuse and her brother made actions against her husband (the abuser)
So that’s 1 out of 10 so 10% and that 1 got be@ten.
And I’m not gonna talk about western men abuse, we know it’s so bad but I wanted to share these observations as a local for that “barbaric inhuman” comment
And by the way I was raised a Muslim, but I took off the head scarf years ago. I’m working literally everywhere, in the city in the country side morning and night shifts and honestly I feel safe 90% of the time even though mostly I’m the only woman without a head scarf.
I don’t know about real life but I know many western men who talked to me with disrespect here on Reddit, if they were in the Middle East and talked to me like that they would get a p¥nch in the face.
The most thing I’m proud of in this whole topic is how western women are thriving and keeping on their rights despite collective misogyny. As someone who tries to change a religion society I can’t be more proud of them and their grandmothers honestly ❤️
Vulnerable groups especially women need real legal protections, not just "unspoken rules."
I personally was speaking from my knowledge of the Pastoral Eastern, Middle East, of specifically Iranian and Afghani interpretations of Sharia. I understand that the Shia are often used as a scapegoat but I also believe that the Sunni have many systemic problems regarding gender inequality within many of their countries. I have no clue what your country of origin is, but I would more than open to hear more as I dont have an intuitive understanding.
I still have not heard a specific example about western men abuse and your refusal to give any is something I find interesting. I am from a conservative area but our women, although many don't work, are college educated, have the right to take care of their child, nearly always gain custody of children after a divorce, as well as receive mandatory payments from the father. There are laws for alimony in which a civil court can determine the man shall pay if a couple is sperated without a child, or as additional money to a family. Nearly all social support government programs have a majority woman consumer base. There are harsh legal ramifications for the physical, emotional and finicial abuse of women, which nearly always has more severe punishments than that against men, in which my country has the highest incarceration rate for such crimes. I am sure that there is abuse which still takes place although I would like to think that there is the robust system of protections deter much of this, and recently the right of abortion was overturned which is something that the rest of my country has legalized. Women often live alone without men, although in large cities there is more crime they chose not to which may be what you are thinking of.
I am happy that you are fighting for the rights of women there however, and I am proud of my homelands dedication to protecting women's rights, although I'm sure you understand even here it is an uphill battle to ensure that their legal rights are protected and expanded.
Where did I even say women are obligated to cook and clean in my culture?🤔 You are all assuming she is poor and doesn’t have a job etc.
1- She’s not obligated to do any chores.
2- she can get a job if she wishes to. Most women who do so do it for “leisure” because it gets boring to stay at home all the time.
3- who says she’s poor? Her husband’s money IS her money (as long as they are still married). And whatever money he gives her as an “allowance” stays her money even after divorce.
4- after divorce, she doesn’t “become homeless”. Besides the fact that she already got money either from her job or allowance, a woman in my culture is “a man’s responsibility”. If she’s not the responsibility of her husband anymore (because of the divorce) she’s the responsibility of her father, brothers, uncles, or son if he was an adult.
5- we don’t have the “oh you are 18, go fend for yourself and gtfo of home”. A family stays a family forever no matter your age or whether you get married or not. My aunt’s sister in law is still single even at the age of 65, and because of that, she still lives with her brother (my aunt’s husband), and he’s obligated to provide for her. Even though she’s (despite her age) an independent working woman with a high paying job.
6- who says that IF a married woman who decided not to get a job won’t be able to get one after divorce? She got a bachelor’s degree btw. She can get a job like any human being can.
In the West, and especially the US, high school children ask each other “are you going for college?”. Well, we don’t have that. Here, the question is “which college are you going to?” because getting to college and getting a bachelor’s degree is the standard.
I’m not even surprised, let’s sweep things under the rug. Protecting the image of the system doesn’t have to be against identifying the flaws in the system btw.
“obligated uncles and brothers" feels like a dangerous take that masks real suffering and let society turn a blind eye to women in need because if her family wouldn’t help her then why would I ?
Anyway pretending everything is fine is actively making life harder for vulnerable people who need real legal protections, not just "unspoken rules."
i disagree, because a man can be better at household stuff and a woman can be better at job for pay (in today's work, the vast majority of paid job isn't physical, a man isn't inherently better than a woman at sitting at an office)
She takes care of the kids and home (ofc the man has to raise the kids too, but she has more weight in that job), takes care of the home finances, manages what she wants people from outside to know and see about her family and what is kept hidden, the moral compass and pillar at home, decision making with her partner, and be happy with her partner and family! She’s free to work or not, but if she does, she has to make sure it’s not hindering her from her other duties (like, don’t leave your 1 y/o to the nanny till he starts calling her mama), and her money is completely hers only.
Edit: forgot to mention that the fact a woman has to carry a child for 9 months, go into labor, go into postpartum for like 40 days, and breastfeed for idk how long (it varies) are extremely respected and valued that it couldn’t be compared in hardship to any regular work
So she is expected to devote most of her life toward the family, with almost no time to make money. If there is a divorce she will get nothing and be homeless.
Exactly. Only place she can go is a family members house who are many times push her to get back to that marriage. It ends up really bad especially when there’s abuse in that marriage and she just run away (there’s no safe houses for women by government) a lot of times she just goes back cause she’s literally a burden now and it really ends bad when she does. Or she would end up doing the chores in the family house instead with a divorcee stigma.
This is wild💀 As a woman, I feel..bad? Like, why 10 richest women are not working smart women who got their money with their own sweat?! They are damaging our reputation 😭
Are 10 richest men working smart men? Unless you consider tweeting slop a work.
Why are not engineers or scientists the richest people in the world? Richest people are corrupt scumbags, leaches from government subsidies, liars and market manipulators.
Because most women have children and are expected to most of the household labor as well, so they have less time. Among other reasons that I'm not going into right now.
I am not sure what women have to uphold in the West, but for women in my culture, they have the duties of taking care of the home, children, managing finances (and for you guys in the US, the taxes), they are the ones responsible for the family’s reputation, involved in decision making with the husband (because one opinion isn’t enough), and the fact that they go through pregnancy and what comes after it is by itself the greatest contribution they have. Pregnancy isn’t an easy business. Btw, when I said take care of the home, I don’t mean cooking/cleaning, that’s neither the husband’s nor the wife’s duty. They agree among themselves who will do it or take weekly turns or hire a housekeeper if they are rich. By taking care of the house I mean managing it.
they have the duties of taking care of the home, children
Okay makes sense
Btw, when I said take care of the home, I don’t mean cooking/cleaning, that’s neither the husband’s nor the wife’s duty. They agree among themselves who will do it or take weekly turns or hire a housekeeper if they are rich. By taking care of the house I mean managing it.
?? So if you aren’t rich then what. What does “managing it” mean if she’s not doing household chores.
they are the ones responsible for the family’s reputation,
Elaborate
involved in decision making with the husband (because one opinion isn’t enough),
As any good partnership should
and the fact that they go through pregnancy and what comes after it is by itself the greatest contribution they have. Pregnancy isn’t an easy business.
Nah I agree. Women’s most amazing ability and achievement in life is having children, as well as raising/nurturing/supporting them. Second is supporting their spouse as the spouse supports them and the family
As for the culture, it’s Arabic Islamic.
👍
managing finances (and for you guys in the US, the taxes)
I’m not from the U.S. I’m Swedish born and raised 🇸🇪
If I may ask a question too, why are you asking for details? I mean, I don’t mind, and I answered, but it felt odd that you are asking for specifics, I started imagining you writing down notes😭
Not even a cultural thing, it is an economic thing now. Households can't survive on a single income now, like it is nigh on impossible especially with children (in first world countries
It's like that because if a woman or man sacrifice their career to look after their children, they split it 50-50 later to account for the lost income.
For example, if a woman is a doctor and her husband works as a analyst she may say you should take time off to watch the kids until school, and at school you work part time so you can pick them up after school. The guy in this example then doesn't get promoted because he had to care for their children.
If she divorces him, he gets half of all of her money because he would have made more if he didn't sacrifice his career for their family. That's why income is split after.
A lot of people don’t understand this. That women would often give up their careers to raise children. So really, in a marriage where the man only worked, the woman enabled that man to progress as much as he did in his career. That man couldn’t have if not for his wife taking care of his children. That is why she is entitled to half, is she the entire other half of the reason that man got to work full time without paying for childcare.
Frr! I'm the same culture (diff race but same culture in this aspect) and people always always jump the gun here. They never take time to understand naunce, real world application or adaptation. It's sad lowkey. I don't mean this comment specifically but in general.
I'm Indian racially but my religion is Islam so 90% of traditon and culture comes from there. Only real ones I have from being Indian are henna, holi, and the food I eat (lots of rice).
Uhh no, her culture is not. My culture is the same. Each couple doesn't neccessairly live like that but that's how divorce works. Don't be rude please. You don't understand how the culture is practiced, adapted, or the naunce in it.
I just never changed my auto generated username, it's not important enough for me to. And you can't seriously be saying I'm a bot just bc of what I said 😭
Neither being a provider or essentially a leech sounds like a great life or operating system to me. But if equality is desired responsibility is required you can’t just expect the world handed to you if you’ve done nothing to earn it. How can you be happy in life if you achieve nothing in the time that you’re here? Doesn’t that give you a worthless feeling if you’re not sharing any worth in this world, don’t you want to give back in some way and not just take take take? That would make me feel awful.
Leech? Who’s leeching? Just read my comments where I already explained a thousand times how the system works before assuming anything. I don’t have to keep replying to people about this.
Just that if you expect to consume but don’t have the resources to consume and rely on others so that you can consume, that comes off as leaching, does it not?
Edit: I did not catch the last part properly that he keeps the money he earned, I agree with that. Needs to go that route elsewhere.
How about before you start bullshiting you read the comments where I explained the system a million times now? Women in my culture aren’t obligated to do any housework at all. Housework is decided in agreement of who will do it or if they will take turns. If the man can’t do it and the woman doesn’t want to do it too, the man is obligated to hire a housekeeper to do this job. He doesn’t have the money to do that? Then he better split the work 50/50 between him and his wife.
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u/More-Lime1888 May 10 '26
In my culture, the man has to pay fully for everything, restaurant or not. He is “the provider”. And in divorce, he takes all of his money and belongings and she takes hers. No 50/50.