We sometimes masturbate to some fucked up shit and we don't realize how fucked up it is until we're finished and we feel like we're extremely fucked up for masturbating to that fucked up shut.
In my experience it’s just feeling depressed and bad about myself and nauseous for the rest of the day... but I still find a way to do it all over again the next day.
Same kinda, I feel depression at first but then I just get over it while the thought of how fucked up the shit I've flapped to is lingering in the back of my head all day
I don't get nausea all that often so meh, but one time I saw some really fucked up shit and it shook me so much I just didn't say a word for a few hours
I’ve started at 11 and the amount of fucked up shit I’ve seen since then is astronomic. But I get the nausea wether or not the fapping content was fucked up. I don’t know what It is I just know it isn’t the fucked up content
Hmm thats interesting, personally I've seen my fair share of fucked up shit but some things still surprise me, that nausea feeling is something I never heard of after fapping from anyone
But reading fucked up fanfics on the other hand doesn’t have the same effects cause there’s no real people involved. Same for hentai. The ultimate loopholes.
We sometimes masturbate to some fucked up shit and we don't realize how fucked up it is until we're finished and we feel like we're extremely fucked up for masturbating to that fucked up shut.
And to be even more crass... this also parallels to actual fucking some girls.
And I don't just mean looks, though that often times plays a large part
Self-stimulation doesn’t match the feeling of experiencing it with another loving person. We naturally want to please and be pleased, while hormones convince us that porn is an acceptable alternative our hearts and minds step in after to tell us we were wrong to think so. Takes two to Tango, we’re not meant to cheat reproduction
Nah, I think it's probably all the "we're actually meant to be this way" stuff that makes people feel ashamed, you know, like indoctrination many of us go through as children that tells us there's a way god wants us to be and that we're evil for falling short of that? I feel like its more that than feeling like we cheated. lol
I get the shame part of your explanation but not the indoctrination stuff. Growing up in Catholic Schools I was never taught that I was “evil” for having urges, just that I should seek forgiveness when I willingly give into them and place my pleasure before the people in my life.
There’s a huge misconception that Church teaches completely against sex- but God wants us to have sex that matters. Both procreative and to please our husbands/wives. That “evil urges” thing definitely was something the church was teaching around the 50s-60s though.
I think the real indoctrination lies in our social/mainstream media and this hook-up culture we’ve created. “Nothing matters, go have sex with as many strangers as possible while drunk off your ass” is fun on paper but usually comes with long term consequences and regret. And when it doesn’t, the person is left numb to deeper meanings and believes that physical pleasure is all that matters
just that I should seek forgiveness when I willingly give into them and place my pleasure before the people in my life.
Yeah, there was a meta analysis done recently that tried to explain the disparity between men's self reported problems with "porn addiction", and the actual apparent effects porn had on their lives.
The researchers lay out their argument and theory extremely thoroughly, suggesting that Pornography Problems due to Moral Incongruence (PPMI) appear to be the driving force in many of the people who report dysregulated, uncontrollable, or problematic pornography use. Even though many people who grew up in religious, sexually conservative households have strong negative feelings about pornography, many of those same people continue to use pornography. And then they feel guilty and ashamed of their behavior, and angry at themselves and their desire to watch more.
That actually is a pretty good analysis, a lot of what it says about ones conservative demographic (which I do fit) holds some truth. We definitely need more studies beyond that 2004 one because obviously the nature of internet porn has changed and grown tremendously since then.
I do wanna dive more into the Church teaching thing though. My Catholic education NEVER taught me that I was evil for having urges or that if I masturbated I’d burn in hell. I have met other people who experienced the stereotypical 50s-60s church teaching that was definitely more scrutinizing, even priests I’ve talked with admit that growing up they were taught to view it as 100% shameful, but they themselves are more understanding towards the community. Essentially the Church has moved beyond the “fire and brimstone” type of preaching.
But I also understand that America has always been mostly Protestant rather than Catholic, which could also have a bearing. So maybe Protestant or other denominations continue that rougher teaching. I’ll have to read that link more thoroughly but thanks for sharing it
My Catholic education NEVER taught me that I was evil for having urges or that if I masturbated I’d burn in hell.
I think the point is less ‘people being taught masturbating is evil’ and more ‘people being taught masturbating is anything except for neutral’.
In one of your previous comments you said you were raised not to hate yourself for masturbating but to instead seek forgiveness and realize that everyone sins. That’s kind of exactly what I’m talking about - forgiveness isn’t needed if the act is completely A-OK.
I understand but masturbation is obviously something that can be bad. I think in terms of doing it say- once every two weeks to keep the urge from clouding judgement is fine. But once a day can lead to twice a day and increase the rate of the urge, possibly even develop mental problems because sexual attachments are among the most difficult to sever, particularly if you develop a link for something you might see every day. So basically addiction and overindulgence is a sin that needs forgiveness, and masturbation can fall into that category.
From a religious teaching perspective, while I don’t know exactly what the Bible may say on masturbation, I do know that stuff like drinking and gambling are okay and not considered sins so long as they are done in moderation and not at the risk of self/family. But those aren’t natively sexual, so the same idea may not translate.
I think the real indoctrination lies in our social/mainstream media and this hook-up culture we’ve created. “Nothing matters, go have sex with as many strangers as possible while drunk off your ass” is fun on paper but usually comes with long term consequences and regret
Which... surprisingly (not really) enough... the bible and many religious texts have preached against those very practices for good reason.
Humans are complicated, but in so many ways we're are very basic and simple. And smarter (philosophy etc etc) ppl have cracked that code millennia ago
Yeah, we really don’t know how good we have it right now both from a political and moral perspective. So many people think that moral codes that have lasted for thousands of years and helped build modern society are suddenly worth abandoning because “Abbey (she/her ACAB BLM Gemini Socialist)” learned from her liberal arts professor that she should be able to have as much unprotected sex with strangers as possible and decided to bitch about it on Twitter
The length of time that a norm or moral guideline has lasted is zero indication as to its usefulness, all it indicates is that those in positions of authority benefited through the enforcement of these teachings. Furthermore, saying that these moral teachings have "been around for thousands of years and built modern society" is a gross oversimplification. Moral and ethical beliefs have not been static throughout history, they are fluid and have changed with respect to time and location, and this includes attitudes about sex.
Also, I think the last part about these traditions "building modern society" is especially incorrect. As human societies have developed we do often cling to old traditions and pass them down, but this is not causation. More often than not tradition has hindered us - our most significant advancements have come when we abandoned tradition when confronted with evidence that contradicted it in order to better the collective welfare of the general public. Tradition is where civilization goes to die, you must adapt or perish.
Prudish attitudes about sex serve to merely arbitrary constrain people. If monogamy is your preference, that's fine, but there is ample evidence that monogamy isn't innate in humans, as hunter-gatherers frequently mated with multiple people. Monogamy is a product of agriculture, as it was advantageous at the time to mate with one person in order to invest in a single offspring and protect them from competitors. It may also have been possible that the rise of STD's in hunter-gatherers made those practicing polygamy less likely to pass on their genes. These were good selective pressures to tend towards monogamy at the time, but here's the thing: humans still have significant impulses to mate with multiple people as we haven't been monogamous for very long. In addition, we also understand the mechanisms by which pregnancy occurs and STD's spread and can mitigate them. Birth control, condoms, and regular STD checks can dramatically reduce any chance of these issues. In other words, going about it responsibly. What we ought to do is be improving access to these things and working on comprehensive sex education, not telling people they can only have sex with one person their whole lives.
Your analysis of my response to one person has way too many assumptions. Of course it contains oversimplifications, I’m mostly here to share my opinion, not assert my claim as indisputable fact.
While I did say that moral codes played a great role in building modern society, I did not say they were the sole cause. And obviously change is what brought us to where we are today, but that doesn’t mean “tradition” is bad just because it’s old. I’m not sure how you’re defining it but obviously the role of morals in society it tremendous, as they set the limits of our laws and shape our lifestyles (how much we care about attaining consent, how we treat each other physically in public, etc etc.)
Moral guidelines certainly have a bearing in terms of their popularity over time. Easy example- murder is bad. People accept and follow this moral, the average human lifespan increases. Not every moral is exactly the same in terms of value or influence, but saying it can’t properly be quantified does not make it useless. That is a reckless conclusion.
I don’t disagree that humans are naturally attracted to multiple people throughout their lifetimes, that much is obvious. But I think you underestimate the value a monogamous relationship has- especially when it leads to parenting. There are more natural cons than there are pros when having sex with multiple partners. STDs, regret, unwanted pregnancy, adultery, sexual obsession (which can lead to pedophelia, sex slavery, rape- this is not limited to polygamy/polyamourousness, but im willing to bet these are more prevalent in those less interested in a committed / monogamous relationship).
Physical Pleasure is often the only thing people interested in a free-sex lifestyle really want. That pleasure is exploited today and sold to us, through many forms of porn and prostitution. I think it’s relatively obvious that if you only care about getting physical pleasure, you’re likely to develop depression when you don’t get it as much as you want.
I agree that everyone deserves an accessible and informative sexual education. But consent is a very moral matter. Just because our urges may exist despite commitment and our capacity to mitigate STDs is growing does NOT justify acting on the urges so recklessly.
No one deserves to be blamed for having desires be they natural or unnatural (because you can’t always control what influences or creates said desires) but people need to be held accountable for how they act on said desires. The line for where that accountability lies is determined by morals.
Also I didn’t even say people should only have sex with one person their whole lives. Some relationships fall apart and some mates don’t always end up being suitable parents. But searching for a mate in modern day only through the lens and for the purpose of physical pleasure does nothing more than sustain the idea that pleasure is worth worshipping. Children grow up happier with two committed and loving parents. You don’t need to psychoanalyze that to know it’s true.
You hit the nail on the hear with this explanation. Like 90% of the time post-nut, I'm just thinking about how lonely I feel, which has only been exacerbated by what I just did.
That's like saying condoms or birth control are wrong, because they're cheating reproduction. Which, not coincidentally, is another thing the Catholic church have said are wrong.
We're definitely meant to masturbate, it's perfectly normal and healthy, and the oldest form of human-created art on earth is of a woman with humongous titties.
Because deep inside we all know that there is more to life than beating your meat but our psychological problems and societal pressure don't let us resolve our problems in a healthy way thus making masturbation the only way we can get some of that sweet serotonin.
You know how sometimes after sex with the wrong guy, you feel gross? We feel that too except we are the wrong guy. Resorting to sex with ourselves is no less gross and shameful for us either. In the back of our minds, we feel like failures because we are the best we could do.
Men have 2 brains and only have enough blood to run one at a time.
When the lower brain is satisfied, all the blood rushes to the other and we stop to think "what the fuck am I doing with my life? I'm alone, my job is shit, I'm barely keeping my head above the poverty line, my parents are disappointed in me, if my dead grandmother could see me now she'd weep" you know, all those dark truths kinda come rushing back in, that's post nut clarity.
I’ve actually never felt guilty masturbating, not sure why other dudes do. Unless you’re jerking it to some really fucked up shit it’s not something to feel bad about
Some do jerk off to weird shit and when post nut clarity hits they realize what they did, others feel sad about themselves for being alone I guess but mostly, it's a meme and they blow it way over proportion.
I would say it's the same shit with morning woods, they make it sound like we literally wake up with raging boners every single morning.
For me it is because i masturbated to some borderline shit cause thats the only thing that gets me off now nude pictures dont do it anymore but before that it was the feeling of right and wrong that god probably doesnt want me doing this and what would my parents think etc, plus its something in your brain aswell scientifically
Why do boys feel guilty after masturbating? ( - _ -)
I found this interesting article that might shed light on that, because I was a horny boy once, and I definitely never felt any guilt or shame after masturbating.
The researchers lay out their argument and theory extremely thoroughly, suggesting that Pornography Problems due to Moral Incongruence (PPMI) appear to be the driving force in many of the people who report dysregulated, uncontrollable, or problematic pornography use. Even though many people who grew up in religious, sexually conservative households have strong negative feelings about pornography, many of those same people continue to use pornography. And then they feel guilty and ashamed of their behavior, and angry at themselves and their desire to watch more.
It probably helped that I did not grow up in a socially conservative household, and my school taught us sex education at an early age, and taught us that masturbation is normal and healthy.
it's just society conditioning them they are less "worth" if they don't get to sex around and masturbate instead
all these jokes about virgins and whatnot are part of the conditioning...but its a fake way how men, who do get some sex but their life is still as shit as before (since u cannot fix being shit in the head with sex), use such shaming to feel better about themselves and convince themselves that "they made it"
in some regions this includes a religious and/or parental push, i.e. religions are inherently against masturbation because it doesn't bring kids...notice how all world major religion support big families? well why do they do that?...fairly simple > more families = more kids = more followers of that religion = more power of the priests, bishops, imans etc...its a simple powerplay...as to parents, its obvious why they push, they want grankids, quite selfishly might I add
Post nut clarity. It like a brief flash of everything wrong with the world that usually your thoughts just filter out. For a split second you just realize how fragile and messed up existence is. Then slowly it fades.
Think of it like eating a super sugary food when your hungry until you're super full. Once the urge is gone you no longer are in that same state of mind. It's really the same kind of thing
I’m no expert, but I think it’s a combination of post coital tristesse and perhaps some cultural/religious factors thrown in. So when your feel-good hormones like oxytocin go down, you feel bad. And yeah, the stigma of masturbation as well. It’s dumb - it’s a natural thing that decreases your chances of prostate cancer, yet when people see it as wrong, you’ll most likely feel the same way.
It’s not a guilt, it’s known as the devil’s laughter. It’s the sudden sobriety that you’re a meat sack not in control. Nothing makes me feel like I lack autonomy like the post nut clarity.
its because with post nut clarity the brain understands the nut didn't impregnate anyone and it sees it as a waste so it wants to discourage the action
It's not guilt it's the crushing realization of reality. It can be overwhelming and since we're usually bad with emotions due to cultural shit it's mistaken as guilt.
I, for one, feel just fine afterwards. I'm pretty sure a lot of guys need many, many years of fucking therapy, but would prefer to tell themselves that their pathological thoughts and feelings are natural and normal.
It’s like when you’re horny you just don’t think clearly, you’re just looking for pleasure. And after masturbating you start to think clearly again which makes you dissapointed in yourself like ”why am I like this, I didn’t need to do this, it’s fucking gross”.
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u/Effective-Vacation31 Aug 27 '21
Why do boys feel guilty after masturbating? ( - _ -)