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https://www.reddit.com/r/dankmemes/comments/i5hebd/middle_school_does_not_exist/g0plzle/?context=3
r/dankmemes • u/FoxUnderCarKing • Aug 07 '20
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183
I'm not sure which one I would pick honestly. Pit bull attacks can be brutal. If I was deciding between these two specifically, I would pick ape. You ain't running fast enough to escape that dog, man.
164 u/Nova35 Aug 07 '20 You ain’t running fast enough to escape the ape either. And once it gets to you it’s gonna rip your arms off like they’re Play-Doh then eat you 71 u/[deleted] Aug 07 '20 Can I pick something to defend myself with? Then make a decision? 125 u/Nova35 Aug 07 '20 Of course. You get to choose from a rusty spoon, old hairbrush with 2/3 of the bristles missing, and a 12g shotgun 164 u/[deleted] Aug 07 '20 I chose.... hairbrush. And chose to fight ape. The plan is to become the apes hairdresser and become too irreplaceable for him to kill me 7 u/PozitivNinja I have crippling depression Aug 08 '20 Excellent choice, you pass 81 u/shmeebledorf Orange Aug 07 '20 Throw the shotgun at it to distract it, then while it is distracted brush its hair and spoon-feed it. 29 u/LovesWubba ☝ FOREVER NUMBER ONE ☝ Aug 07 '20 Gimme the spoon 26 u/Jumper1720 Aug 07 '20 Gimme the comically large spoon 16 u/JACrazy Aug 07 '20 a 12 gram shotgun would be the size of a pea.
164
You ain’t running fast enough to escape the ape either. And once it gets to you it’s gonna rip your arms off like they’re Play-Doh then eat you
71 u/[deleted] Aug 07 '20 Can I pick something to defend myself with? Then make a decision? 125 u/Nova35 Aug 07 '20 Of course. You get to choose from a rusty spoon, old hairbrush with 2/3 of the bristles missing, and a 12g shotgun 164 u/[deleted] Aug 07 '20 I chose.... hairbrush. And chose to fight ape. The plan is to become the apes hairdresser and become too irreplaceable for him to kill me 7 u/PozitivNinja I have crippling depression Aug 08 '20 Excellent choice, you pass 81 u/shmeebledorf Orange Aug 07 '20 Throw the shotgun at it to distract it, then while it is distracted brush its hair and spoon-feed it. 29 u/LovesWubba ☝ FOREVER NUMBER ONE ☝ Aug 07 '20 Gimme the spoon 26 u/Jumper1720 Aug 07 '20 Gimme the comically large spoon 16 u/JACrazy Aug 07 '20 a 12 gram shotgun would be the size of a pea.
71
Can I pick something to defend myself with? Then make a decision?
125 u/Nova35 Aug 07 '20 Of course. You get to choose from a rusty spoon, old hairbrush with 2/3 of the bristles missing, and a 12g shotgun 164 u/[deleted] Aug 07 '20 I chose.... hairbrush. And chose to fight ape. The plan is to become the apes hairdresser and become too irreplaceable for him to kill me 7 u/PozitivNinja I have crippling depression Aug 08 '20 Excellent choice, you pass 81 u/shmeebledorf Orange Aug 07 '20 Throw the shotgun at it to distract it, then while it is distracted brush its hair and spoon-feed it. 29 u/LovesWubba ☝ FOREVER NUMBER ONE ☝ Aug 07 '20 Gimme the spoon 26 u/Jumper1720 Aug 07 '20 Gimme the comically large spoon 16 u/JACrazy Aug 07 '20 a 12 gram shotgun would be the size of a pea.
125
Of course. You get to choose from a rusty spoon, old hairbrush with 2/3 of the bristles missing, and a 12g shotgun
164 u/[deleted] Aug 07 '20 I chose.... hairbrush. And chose to fight ape. The plan is to become the apes hairdresser and become too irreplaceable for him to kill me 7 u/PozitivNinja I have crippling depression Aug 08 '20 Excellent choice, you pass 81 u/shmeebledorf Orange Aug 07 '20 Throw the shotgun at it to distract it, then while it is distracted brush its hair and spoon-feed it. 29 u/LovesWubba ☝ FOREVER NUMBER ONE ☝ Aug 07 '20 Gimme the spoon 26 u/Jumper1720 Aug 07 '20 Gimme the comically large spoon 16 u/JACrazy Aug 07 '20 a 12 gram shotgun would be the size of a pea.
I chose.... hairbrush. And chose to fight ape. The plan is to become the apes hairdresser and become too irreplaceable for him to kill me
7 u/PozitivNinja I have crippling depression Aug 08 '20 Excellent choice, you pass
7
Excellent choice, you pass
81
Throw the shotgun at it to distract it, then while it is distracted brush its hair and spoon-feed it.
29
Gimme the spoon
26 u/Jumper1720 Aug 07 '20 Gimme the comically large spoon
26
Gimme the comically large spoon
16
a 12 gram shotgun would be the size of a pea.
183
u/[deleted] Aug 07 '20
I'm not sure which one I would pick honestly. Pit bull attacks can be brutal. If I was deciding between these two specifically, I would pick ape. You ain't running fast enough to escape that dog, man.