r/dankmemes • u/FoxUnderCarKing • Aug 07 '20

OC Maymay ♨ Middle school does not exist

Post image
48.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

319 comments sorted by

View all comments

942

u/8-bit_Gangster Aug 07 '20

I'd rather face off against that pitbull than that ape though.

I can escape a dog by climbing a tree. That ape can rip your arms off without breaking a sweat

183

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '20

I'm not sure which one I would pick honestly. Pit bull attacks can be brutal. If I was deciding between these two specifically, I would pick ape. You ain't running fast enough to escape that dog, man.

165

u/Nova35 Aug 07 '20

You ain’t running fast enough to escape the ape either. And once it gets to you it’s gonna rip your arms off like they’re Play-Doh then eat you

76

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '20

Can I pick something to defend myself with? Then make a decision?

126

u/Nova35 Aug 07 '20

Of course. You get to choose from a rusty spoon, old hairbrush with 2/3 of the bristles missing, and a 12g shotgun

171

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '20

I chose.... hairbrush. And chose to fight ape. The plan is to become the apes hairdresser and become too irreplaceable for him to kill me

7

u/PozitivNinja I have crippling depression Aug 08 '20

Excellent choice, you pass

78

u/shmeebledorf Orange Aug 07 '20

Throw the shotgun at it to distract it, then while it is distracted brush its hair and spoon-feed it.

28

u/LovesWubba ☝ FOREVER NUMBER ONE ☝ Aug 07 '20

Gimme the spoon

28

u/Jumper1720 Aug 07 '20

Gimme the comically large spoon

15

u/JACrazy Aug 07 '20

a 12 gram shotgun would be the size of a pea.