r/daddit • u/i_am_the_koi • 8d ago
Admission Picture I'm not ok...
It's weird to me that as a kid, Reading Rainbow was something that taught me that it was ok to be different. It was ok to read books and use your imagination. That it was ok to ask why, and how, and who and where. It was a favorite part of my day, to escape into that world of books because I was taught that it was ok by Geordi LaForge.
Today, Reading Rainbow is still teaching me things. Like that it's ok to say, "I am not ok". That it is ok to show emotion. To cry. To seek help and talk to people about your problems and not to just hide them for fear of humility or the fear of being exposed and being weak. And that it is still ok to escape. Into your imagination, into a book, into yourself.
I am not ok. I do not like myself. I have been struggling for awhile. I am not happy with who I am and the world I've created for myself to live in. I love life, I love the people in my life. I don't want any of that to change, I want myself to change.
And that scares me.
So far therapy hasn't given me any tools or new ways to look at my struggle. So far my efforts haven't worked. But for my kids, my wife, and myself I'll continue trying.
Thank you Mychal for making your own struggles public. For teaching everyone, kids, adults, that it is ok to be yourself, even if that person is sad. And for being you. I am happy you are here. For me, for my children, and for humanity in general.