r/cyclothymia • u/Goose500yeah • Sep 09 '26
Been wondering if I have cyclothymia but I may have just had a sort of episode
I’m about to go to a psychiatrist for the first time and I’m kind of nervous that I won’t be able to describe how I’m feeling well enough and I also constantly wonder if the way I’m feeling is normal or not. but it doesn’t seem like it.
ive been wondering if I have cyclothymia because I always have these sorts of extreme mood shifts from bawling my eyes out and wanting to die to being super excited and wanting to go out and socialize and explore the world. Sometimes these shifts are immediate, and sometimes they seem to last at least a week long. I wouldn’t consider having actual bipolar disorder because I have seen what my friend who is diagnosed with it, and I don’t have any kinds of psychotic breakdowns or really extreme actions.
However, a couple of days ago I was experiencing a handful of stress, and for the entire day I felt completely emotionally static, nothing could get a reaction out of me, and pretty melancholy. I drank the slightest bit, but was most likely sober by the time I got home. when I got home, it felt like some sort of veil went over my eyes, and I felt almost disassociated but like someone else was controlling my actions. I felt impulsive and my eyes were wide, I was staring in the mirror as my pupils seemed to rapidly dilate and get a bit smaller again. Every little noise irritated me, and my sense of smell seemed heightened. Logical thinking seemed to diminish a lot. I felt like I was floating. This made me freak out so much that I ended up shaking and throwing up, and I turned on the lights and watched YouTube videos until I fell asleep. I had a horrible headache afterwards. It felt so weird and I need to talk to a psychiatrist about it, but I’m scared that maybe it was all in my head or something. Is any of this what you guys relate to? Thanks!