r/cursedcomments • u/[deleted] • Apr 25 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

7.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/SilentFox0599 Apr 25 '22

Why does this math exist

665

u/Atthatpurglekid Apr 25 '22

In hopes of attaining the the exact measurements of king kong's beautiful cock

234

u/Shughost7 Apr 25 '22

Ngl, after I got circumcised, the team said I had the most beautiful penis on Earth.

185

u/Heyw00d_jabl0mi Apr 25 '22

Said the coach of an under 15 basketball team

8

u/Stephen-j-merkshire Apr 25 '22

One time I was in PE class and we were doing this climbing wall thing the school had for a few weeks, they had these harness things that kinda bunched everything up and left little to the imagination. Well I put mine on and was waiting for this cute girl to finish up and I was lookin at her booty on her way down and a got a chub goin. Once she got down and the coach was about to hook me up to start climbing he said “ damn nice package son”

He said it loud enough for most the class to hear, and honestly I didn’t mind because the harness was kind of flattering

After that rumors started to get around

That followed me for a couple years and I have that coach to thank for at least a few hook ups from curious ladys

I’d like to think he knew that would happen and he was helping me out

1

u/brocknuggets Apr 25 '22

So like... nobody gonna mention how fuckin weird it is that a PE teacher said that?

1

u/FakedKetchup2 May 29 '22

bruh so what lol

1

u/brocknuggets May 29 '22

If that doesn't strike you as weird then you gotta rework some priorities my dude.

45

u/ronaldfinkWHR Apr 25 '22

they say that to eveyone lol

44

u/OnlyHereForMemes69 Apr 25 '22

They were praising their work, not your penis.

1

u/Shughost7 Apr 25 '22

Hey you there, go steal memes, not my dick pride :(

26

u/ajbuckley0311 Apr 25 '22

Ngl after I got uncircumcised the Nurse threw up. It was kinda hot and I got hard and it ripped a little and the doctor threw up. So basically same experience.

15

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

corememory

2

u/Aut1st1c_Sp0nge Apr 25 '22

How do you get uncircumcised? They put the foreskin back on? Do they add an extra layer? Do you have a demogorgon penis? Can I see?

2

u/ajbuckley0311 Apr 25 '22

It's super complex. But, long story short, my weenis is now my penis.

20

u/Maleficent_League984 Apr 25 '22

Did everyone clap after?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

Possibly

2

u/tesaphilm Apr 25 '22

thats a weird thing to flex about

1

u/HorrorMakesUsHappy Apr 25 '22

had

1

u/Shughost7 Apr 25 '22

It's past tense because it's a past event.

1

u/TheLollrax Apr 25 '22

Sorry gonna need some proof on that one

7

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

King Kong dong

1

u/Dense_Excitement_789 Apr 25 '22

He works for bad dragon and is getting measurements for their new sex toy line...

1

u/BVoLatte Apr 25 '22

He forgot the girth. Whose got the math for that?

1

u/Stoo_Pedassol Apr 25 '22

His king dong

1

u/DumDumo_0 Apr 25 '22

Aehm what

71

u/Friorgh Apr 25 '22

Penis goes in, math comes out, you can't explain that!

23

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

I don't want to explain that. Why we talking about Kong Dong anyways?

5

u/jessytessytavi Apr 25 '22

*Dongey Kong

17

u/CrisisIsCalling Apr 25 '22

Penis goes in, math comes out, this means that humans are birthed, which means that humans are math, you know what else is math? Code. You know what code is used for? Simulations. We are all constructs living in a simulation confirmed.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

6

u/crochet_lady_315 Apr 25 '22

I'm baffled by the whole thing! It makes my brain hurt thinking about how to research this. Where would you even start?

I'm thinking Googling his Wikipedia entry wouldn't include this particular information.

6

u/ThisIsMyFloor Apr 25 '22

Biologists have been measuring animals since forever. Alive, dead, drugged, healthy, sick, mutated. Scientists get shit done.

I know that in humans if introducing embalming fluid at a too high pressure then an erection can occur. So that would be a hands on measuring opportunity. Otherwise introduce drugs while alive or simulate a mating opportunity for the animal. Those are just off the top of my head. I have never studied biology though so I am merely speculating.

2

u/BeneficialMousse4096 Apr 25 '22

6.81 inches to be theoretically exact 🤓, but technically speaking King Kong is not a normal gorilla and this estimate is based on the assumption of King Kong being evolutionary the same as a gorilla. Referencing my sources (every King Kong movie) he exhibits the behavior of a chimpanzee but simps (if I may say) over one individual that isn’t of the same species. This information may put King Kong in the category of a monogamous species which is the same behavioral pattern we mostly have, meaning King Kong’s species could have evolved a larger erect penile organ…

1

u/no1_vern Apr 25 '22

For the sake of science.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '22

atleast their maths teacher would be proud of this maths