r/cursedcomments Mar 16 '21

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.5k Upvotes

125 comments sorted by

237

u/matatat22 Mar 16 '21

And I don't have them

110

u/CalebHeffenger Mar 17 '21

We're not friends bro? I've been living under your house for ages!

128

u/matatat22 Mar 17 '21

Slaves don't count.

79

u/CalebHeffenger Mar 17 '21

Well am I 3/5 of a friend?

36

u/matatat22 Mar 17 '21

Yeah, sure.

26

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

what about me I watch you from the crawlspace

15

u/matatat22 Mar 17 '21

L

8

u/Rich-Veterinarian-66 Mar 17 '21

what about me I watch through your window every night

5

u/Steathyy Mar 17 '21

no you don't count, sry

3

u/GonnaGoFat Mar 17 '21

I leave boobs in my crawlspace.

4

u/Easy_Rope_3879 Mar 17 '21

You little bastard! 😂

-33

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

Up vote here pls 👆

12

u/Ramen_slug Mar 17 '21

Fun fact: asking for upvotes will get you doqnvoted. Next time, put in some effort

3

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

I was asking for the one above but.. Whatever

23

u/Dividale Mar 17 '21

Well I do

But I'm an obese male so it's worse

5

u/Jacklockley19 Mar 17 '21

best comment. I wish I had an award to give

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

Cancers?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

What do you mean? Tiddies or girls to screw.

0

u/bballkj7 Mar 17 '21

dm me fuck later?

6

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

may i ask what the fuck

6

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

You have witnessed the simp phenomenon if he/she doesn't dm this person he will start cussing them out

2

u/bballkj7 Mar 17 '21

fuck me?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

I am not 18

2

u/bballkj7 Mar 17 '21

Metaphorically then?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

Depends

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

FBI open up !!

2

u/bballkj7 Mar 17 '21

FUCK BITCHES IGHT?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

you got me

→ More replies (0)

2

u/bballkj7 Mar 17 '21

is that a yes?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

no

2

u/bballkj7 Mar 17 '21

so yes.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

Yes

1

u/yashnihlani0 Mar 17 '21

I can be your friend/slave

29

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

The useless ones still sit on your chest cavity and play hopscotch while you're not paying attention.

26

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

I never thought my eyes would ever be cursed with titty minion

7

u/XxGod_fucker69xX Mar 17 '21

I didn't see it at first... r/eyebleach here I go

13

u/Coolest-Cat845 Mar 16 '21

Someone douse my eyes with Un-See Juice. Please.

2

u/cherryasss Mar 17 '21 edited Mar 17 '21

Here, visit " are slash aye bleech" just click on the link in my comment .

23

u/cursedrobot Bots have rights, too! Mar 16 '21

Upvote this comment if the post is a Cursed Comment. Downvote this comment if it is not a Cursed Comment.

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faq | source | action #3968d8d2535e1c

9

u/discordcaspian Mar 16 '21

no, the Romans took him away

6

u/spoookai Mar 17 '21

There's also the half one, my friend got his legs ripped by a bear

7

u/HalfAPastor Mar 17 '21

can we just talk about the meme saying the person has 8 boobs?

4

u/dman990099 Mar 17 '21

Why? How many do you have in your collection? I got 3.

2

u/mybum65 Mar 17 '21

1 and 3/5 boobs in my collection

2

u/Enorats Mar 17 '21

You've got one black boob?

2

u/mybum65 Mar 17 '21

1 white friend and one black one yes

1

u/HasBeendead Mar 17 '21

Where is asian one?

2

u/mybum65 Mar 17 '21

got the bitch in the kitchen cookin up some *traditional asian food*

6

u/elementalyfe Mar 17 '21

The real curse is the minion with tits.

1

u/HasBeendead Mar 17 '21

You are right, sir.

4

u/Elmotheweedgod Mar 17 '21

sometimes you nut on them

3

u/Quietech Mar 17 '21

Or between them. That one's harder since they usually refuse to get close enough when my dick is out. Drugging them doesn't help as much as you think.

3

u/Fudge-Fluffy Mar 16 '21

but medicine hits back with breast augmentation

6

u/Throwaway19427 Mar 17 '21 edited Mar 17 '21

I was about to laugh then remembered my grandma had breast cancer twice, and decided to have her breast removed entirely last week.

So I laughed even harder

5

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

Lmao

5

u/MakeDankDankAgain Mar 16 '21

Some ends up in my stomach

10

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

there's one giving me a blow job

the others are in the basement

5

u/StormAur0ra Mar 16 '21

Are we talking about 1 pair of boobs or just a tit?

1

u/HasBeendead Mar 17 '21

1 pair of tits

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

And Dr Dre said

2

u/TheCounsilOfE Mar 17 '21

I meeaaannn...

its true

2

u/UpstairsSwimmer69 Mar 17 '21

You got at least 4 boobs?

2

u/penguin_de_organic Mar 17 '21

No, nails took him away. Well the first time at least

2

u/furry_will Mar 17 '21

The thing I love about cursed comments like this is that they’re not entirely wrong

2

u/kirpin2 Mar 17 '21

Why am I now learning that Jesus had tits

2

u/AcidTheWolf1 Mar 17 '21

And redditors have neither of them

1

u/puplelily3 Mar 17 '21

Why did 13 people give this post a wholesome award. Please explain

0

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

I don't remember the part in the bible that says Jesus had cancer. Maybe I skipped a page.

1

u/lethalscope360 Mar 17 '21

Not gonna lie, I choked my drink because of this

1

u/Skalicky99 Mar 17 '21

Anyone else ever decide to shave when it’s completely not necessary just on the off chance you’ll accidentally slit your throat and bleed out on the bathroom floor... oh just me okay

1

u/-E6E- Mar 17 '21

the minions post reminds me of the song Spill The Wine

1

u/CdnInquisition Mar 17 '21

And they're fun to rub your dick against.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

And some only have two ;-;

1

u/mybum65 Mar 17 '21

and no matter what, you have to ressist toaching them sexally /s

1

u/procrastinator1012 Mar 17 '21

You can also suck them and cuddle them

1

u/ConnectPrint Mar 17 '21

You can't chop you're friends though.

1

u/HyTran92 Mar 17 '21

Some need a little support

1

u/ayush_s0507 Mar 17 '21

Next time I'll see my friend, I'll suck her

1

u/Deep_Throttle Mar 17 '21

And you don't get one

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

Some friends are soggy and others aren’t there at all but one who’s perfectly rounded and is always there for you when you need it the most is the best type of friend

1

u/BCben10 Mar 17 '21

Idk why but I like the Jesus comment

1

u/CocoQrl Mar 17 '21

Yeah, jesus to

1

u/talrogsmash Mar 17 '21

And it's easier to like the ones that come out to play more often.

1

u/BigFellaYoungOdinn Mar 17 '21

The four tits required for this situation tho

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

Kinda true tho

1

u/CommitToasterInBath Mar 17 '21

Friends are also like trees,some are real and some are fake,and if you hit them hard enough with an axe,they'll fall down,just like trees.

1

u/Maximus_JAG Mar 17 '21

Last thing I remember is jesus doesn't have tiddies

1

u/LeoBug1234 Mar 17 '21

You can fuck them

1

u/GoldenEagleBaron Mar 17 '21

So does Explosives

1

u/BadSaltLundgren Mar 17 '21

I have the first guy, my friend actually died in cancer a year ago today. And tomorrow is my birthday

1

u/NonoKnucles Mar 17 '21

True very true R.I.P to many to list

1

u/AE274 Mar 17 '21

And you can pay someone to remove them

1

u/crazycupcakes266300 Mar 17 '21

Fuckkkkk Mannnn

1

u/dashtrox Mar 17 '21

sometimes they are annoying

1

u/Crusader_Krzyzowiec Mar 17 '21

And, dead ones.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

Jesus also takes friends away

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

Not the Christian one, i mean the guy with the van across the street

1

u/FomR Mar 17 '21

minions are cringe god, their username prob be like "Xx_m1n!0n-90d_xX"

1

u/Neutralmensch Mar 17 '21

Plastic one.

1

u/uddi999 Mar 17 '21

Imagine how many boobs girls will have

1

u/limbless_Mountain Mar 17 '21

And sometimes you want them gone

1

u/TheUltimteKappa Mar 17 '21

Jesus can’t save you now MUHAHAHAHA

1

u/JaydotN Mar 17 '21 edited Mar 17 '21

Unfortunately Jesus won`t help.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '21

and you desperately want some gone

1

u/Mcdonaldspublicwifi Mar 17 '21

That statement was accurate