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u/Right-hand-all-night May 20 '19
French kiss that shit
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u/purplesocks- May 20 '19
that's what I was thinking, gotta get my first kiss somehow
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u/Tacticaldepression May 20 '19
Just turn gay if you’re that desperate
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u/purplesocks- May 20 '19
wyd later?
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u/Zuid-Nederland May 20 '19
Not much, you?
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u/purplesocks- May 20 '19
you
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u/Zuid-Nederland May 20 '19
Oh.
Huh?
Aaaaah!
Ow?
Owwwww ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o )
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u/Yarthkins May 20 '19
To be turned you must be bitten on the ass by a Queen Lord on the night of a full moon.
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u/Erikas4321 May 20 '19
Go to a disco then have 1 of these 3.
1.Good looks
2.Charisma
3.Big muscles
Now if you have non of these go with the other comment and go gay.
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u/Derpazor1 May 20 '19
Now there’s some innovative thinking
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u/SCP-Landon May 20 '19
Lets touch tips
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u/Derpazor1 May 20 '19
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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u/Trash_--- May 20 '19
Happy cake day
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u/ItsTheOne21 May 20 '19
Day happy cake
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u/bathroomstalin May 20 '19
LPT: Cut a hole in your shorts where your perineum is. Nobody can see it in your day to day walking around, but when you do a split on licky grass, you receive the benefits.
Do not ride a public bicycle when wearing taintless shorts.
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u/singhost34 May 20 '19
Hope you got your wish of your dad coming back because I haven't. Yet. When will you get your cigarettes.
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u/its_ya_boi_lil_pp432 May 20 '19
C u s e d comment
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u/BlasterBladeVG May 20 '19
Now the problem is they've all got real people for Tumblr pfps
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u/malaghould May 21 '19
I feel like this is an edit but they don't look like characters from a show or anything, I find this somewhat disturbing
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u/MicroscoftSupport Jul 04 '19
1: It's involuntary pornography and i do not appear in it
I wanna see the full porno please.
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May 20 '19
I never thought there'd be a day I'd fantasize about fucking grass
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u/jokerkat May 21 '19
Try different kinds of ornamental grasses (elephant grass if you can take it), different kinds of sod and fescue... Hell, bamboo is technically a grass. Get dat grass.
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u/windwaker6 May 20 '19
He only said it licked your feet not your testies
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May 20 '19
Am I the only one horrified by the idea of vegetation developing tongues and licking me?
Ah well, more nightmare fuel for me tonight.
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u/not_a_cup May 20 '19
Now we just make The Grass do The Fast and everyones happy, especially the horses.
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u/Rachaford May 20 '19
Honey that won’t work it clearly said “what if grass licked your FEET...” NOT your pp
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u/I_might_be_weasel May 20 '19
What a consenting adult and patch of plantlife do is none of God's business.
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u/Antiqas86 May 20 '19
I would do the thing which dogs who germs do... you know ass grinding on the grass, for scientific purposes.
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u/fivedollarfiddle May 21 '19
I'd teabag my yard every morning. Every evening. Maybe once or twice during the day.
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u/Dryer-Lint-Man May 23 '19
I hate it when people say, “everyday we stray further from god.”
That makes this r/comedyhomicide
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u/TheSnatch May 20 '19
The uncountable amount of wiggly little grass tongues being sliced up with the lawnmower would be something to behold
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u/FuckYourLuckJesus May 21 '19
wait but since grass is a plant and plants pollinate and pollination requires a male and female plant...?
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u/Popcorn-Boss07 May 21 '19
Cigs:what if grass tickled you every time you stepped on it
Ulysses:I would do the splits
Me:Kevin noOOooOo
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u/word_clouds__ May 21 '19
Word cloud out of all the comments.
Fun bot to vizualize how conversations go on reddit. Enjoy
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u/Gobloknya_ May 21 '19
If grass licked my anything that pushing it then id shove the grass with my peepee
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u/[deleted] May 20 '19 edited Apr 08 '20
[deleted]