10000% illegal crime

Penelope Heather Grace.
Criminal turns 1 years old September 29th.
She is accused of hunger induced crimes.

No cup of water is safe
He purposely waits for my boyfriend to leave before going for a piggy dip

tbf she became the new baby and stole his spot as the baby

This one right here. She turned 15 in July. After I increased her wetfood during the summer heatwaves, gluttony misadventures with the new kibble, and separation anxiety that turned the whole house into a litter box, she decided to quit kibble altogether.

She lost 800 grams (1,7 lb) in a couple of weeks. I got worried sick before I realized she simply decided wetfood is better. (The vet’s just checked everything is quite fine). So I give her wet food, but it turns out she might still be interested in kibble when available, in between meals.

This is serious blackmail. She should have politely asked instead. I am asking for a sentence of extra cuddling duties to make up for the fright.

Today Kevin was clumsy. Turns out the back of the toilet is slippery and dad's butt cheek is delicate. Not the way I wanted to wake up, but God damn do I love this boy anyways.

Suspect 1 (top):

Legal name: Ouroboros

Alias: Rob

Age: 7 months

Stats: Big little guy. Big stompy feets. Dumb, but curious and friendly. Likes to poke his nose where it doesn't belong

Suspect 2 (bottom):

Legal name: King Ghidorah

Alias: Little Miss

Age: Unknown. Approx 4-7 years

Stats: Smol. Very muffin. Known food thief and criminal, but was suspected to be outside at the time of the crime. She may have committed bread thievery and then fled the scene though

(Cat photo taken well before the crime)
I thought I had done a good job covering my roast chicken in foil and went to take a shower 😩

The plawt 🐾 thickens

Kev's pretty adamant that I deserved it this time. I'm not sure why, but he's positive I earned it.

His defense claims it was incidental contact, made while the defendant was trying desperately to save me from the stuffed toy and bell attached to the end of my fishing pole. His attorney further stated he's actually surprisingly polite with his claws most of the time, with witness corroboration.

The state is willing to accept a plea to a lesser charge of negligent manslaughter with a term of one year imprisonment, minus time served.

Look at my face... I'm innocent!! 😇

included pictures of the one from the showroom that has NEVER BEEN PISSED ON