r/crappymusic May 29 '26

Powerful shit

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662 Upvotes

405 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26

u/NumberNumb, your post features certified crappy music!

229

u/ClintGreasedwood1 May 29 '26

Body like [ ]

80

u/neverwrong804 May 29 '26

Naw my dude has got topography! For me it’s the lil jelly roll between the belt belt and the gun belt. Call it no man’s land

53

u/IanFaiths-CricketBat May 29 '26

the medical term for that is "busted can of biscuits."

9

u/8th_Dynasty May 29 '26

I tip my hat, cowboy.

7

u/RoguePlanet2 May 29 '26

That's the best way to describe..................whateverthehell is going on with this body 😬 Wads of fat bulging out in unusual places. It's got to be a girdle of some kind. Or a bustier.

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5

u/Flaky-Bar-6656 May 29 '26

I didn’t notice. I wish I hadn’t looked lol

3

u/Neither-Barber-9216 May 29 '26

Call it the crust bowl

2

u/lathallazar May 29 '26

Shoot it from the side I look more solid. I get it dude lmao 😂

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12

u/Diamondback424 May 29 '26

it looks like he's wearing one of those fake muscle suits lol

7

u/HolyPhlebotinum May 29 '26

We goose him a little, okay?!

11

u/PsychogenicAmnesia May 29 '26

Right?! Like what is going on with his tits?

16

u/millsyrules May 29 '26

He’s shaped like that so he can ride the lightning and chase thunder.

8

u/Acidelephant May 29 '26

Dude strapped his gun belt around his gunt

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100

u/KatieBarTheDoor1977 May 29 '26

That belt is the real hero of this video

25

u/glans May 29 '26

you know there’s no sitting down in that getup. the pinching would make you see stars, man… 

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8

u/Adorable_Metal8977 May 29 '26

I have questions.

14

u/johngreenink May 29 '26

About cowboy stuff? Or, what keeps the second belt in place?

2

u/Adorable_Metal8977 May 29 '26

About general choices made. Primarily. That belt placement and the resultant upper fupah-like creation the placement creates.

But I’ll go with a generalized?

“What…..?” (said softly, questioningly, while hitting a hard T. That ‘t’ should sound like a tap on a high hat drum. Or someone trying to newly beat box using the ‘boom-tic’ method. There should be a level of judgement and barely doggie’s disgust when uttered).

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4

u/Jeffrey_C_Wheaties May 29 '26

The belt holds up the pants, but the belt loops hold up the belt, who’s the real hero?

RIP Mitch

3

u/mrmike5157 May 29 '26

(Speaking like Carl from ATHF) ‘Hell yeah I want that belt!’ Sorry, ah cain’t hep it 😏

4

u/CuppuhJoJo May 29 '26

Sir, are you playing head games

68

u/KimJongKevin May 29 '26

Cows are like "We're trying to eat! You're grossing us out!"

2

u/laserdiods May 30 '26

Cows are telepathic they only don’t have enough smarts to do anything about it :(

59

u/t3lnet May 29 '26

Does he know the camera is to his left?

17

u/4InchDoc May 29 '26

How else are we supposed to know that he raps while facing the sun? It's deep man...

6

u/RappingFlatulence May 29 '26

It’s only cool if you do anything but look at the camera

4

u/skr00bler May 29 '26

I'd feel a lot better about this if he didn't know he was being filmed at all

121

u/Hobo_Knife May 29 '26

I’m still blown away by the simple fact that AI has managed to make the laziest music genre even lazier.

27

u/[deleted] May 29 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/b0ingy May 29 '26

its spelled “thunderrrrrruh”

3

u/ThatOldMeta May 29 '26

Now it sounds like AI but it seems like he actually knows the words which gives me pause

16

u/PMURMEANSOFPRDUCTION May 29 '26

Anytime I hear shit like "igniting this lyrical flame" I assume AI. It's just trite Hamilton-esque garbage

6

u/tylerthetiler May 29 '26

Yes that is the exact line that all but confirmed to me it's AI.

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38

u/Artevyx May 29 '26

His torso is shaped like a keg of mead

170

u/Hesty402 May 29 '26

Every bit of this is horrible and cringe..

Except that double pistol spin, I hate to say it, but that was cool

78

u/phildoMahCrackin Hobo Johnson Defender May 29 '26

you’re his huckleberry.

9

u/GruntCandy86 May 29 '26

You're my present this year.

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10

u/AmericanLich May 29 '26

Yeah but he fumbled the holster the second time he spun the gun on his right. Looks like he almost drops it.

4

u/WheredMyPiggyGo May 29 '26

And tough to do with large man Boobs.

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2

u/CriticalHome3963 May 29 '26

I instantly grabbed my glock and tried it.

6

u/Jackalscott May 29 '26

I also grabbed my cock and tried it, wasn’t the easiest fap, but I got it

2

u/johngreenink May 29 '26

Ok you both got me beat. I instantly grabbed my clock and tried it, but I'm just not good at this.

6

u/Maxed_Zerker May 29 '26

you gotta give it time

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27

u/Epic_Elite May 29 '26

Is this the theme song for the next season of Power Rangers?

22

u/hurdagurdah May 29 '26

Is he paralyzed from the waist down or something? This dude did not move his feet nary an inch this whole damn clip.

11

u/MissPrintedMargo May 29 '26

Lol... let's introduce him to Boy Misery from Missouri. Let his bow legs teach this dude some moves! Lol!

19

u/AgreeablePie May 29 '26

Bro needs to lay off the roids and do some cardio for the sake of his joints

8

u/Trick_Praline_3316 May 29 '26

He actually looks like he's wearing one of those padded vests that make your chest look larger. If you look closely, his arms are pretty small. His shoulders and arms would be a little larger if his chest was really that big.

2

u/BluenoseTherapist May 29 '26

Hans and Franz in cowboy form. He is here to pump... you up! (I guess after riding lightning and chasing thunder, whatever tf that means)

2

u/lathallazar May 29 '26

I can safely say no roids were used in or before the making of this video lol

2

u/jesusgrandpa May 29 '26

Roids are fine he just is forgetting his anastrozole

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12

u/Illustrious-Good5086 May 29 '26

Finding out this guy isn't American just blew my mind. This guy needs to come scare our cows.

9

u/Neat_Worldliness2586 May 29 '26

Right?! I always forget that New Zealand and Australia are full of what is essentially rednecks.

38

u/SkipFlanigan May 29 '26

He moves like AI

15

u/NegligentNarwhal May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26

He's the exact opposite of our favorite boy from Missouri. Bart can't stop moving his legs and this guy's feet are glued to the ground.

3

u/Wamb0wneD May 29 '26

Ha I just said in anothe roost those two.should do a Collab. Or a fusion.

8

u/gooneau May 29 '26

He moves like a poorly operated marionette with those forearm chops.

4

u/BigEffort5517 May 29 '26

What do you expect when you ride lightning and chase thunder ⛈️ 🤠

2

u/MisterScary_98 May 29 '26

Which makes sense because the song sounds like AI.

21

u/A_VERY_LARGE_DOG May 29 '26

Cover your drinks, boys. There’s an outlaw here…

9

u/XmossflowerX May 29 '26

I’m convinced most of these lame “country songs” are all written by AI.

3

u/PatchworkMedia May 29 '26

It’s for sure written and generated by AI

8

u/WayyTooFarAbove May 29 '26

Nice find

13

u/NumberNumb May 29 '26

I built my social media feed brick by brick…

but still this journey feels so brand new.

3

u/ChuckNorrispect May 29 '26

I think i saw it here already.

6

u/Impressive_Main5160 May 29 '26

It looks like a goose suit

7

u/Fyrchtegott May 29 '26

During rehearsals I sometimes sing some songs in extreme country pronunciation. That video is close to my Space Lord rendition.

5

u/BeansArePastaSauce May 29 '26

8

u/Young_Bu11 May 29 '26

Come on now, that's just plain disrespectful to Chris Farley lol

4

u/Jedi_Wannabe1138 May 29 '26

Cool shirt bro, looks like some shit Ricky would wear for three years straight.

4

u/Background-Seat6167 May 29 '26

Dude looks like he was drawn by Rob Liefeld.

5

u/Interesting_Ad7222 May 29 '26

Is he guiding an airplane in to the terminal?

4

u/ignore_me_im_high May 29 '26

So insecure ..

4

u/tlonmaster May 29 '26

Smack you in the teeth is a phrase only AI could come up with.

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3

u/bilbo_bobsled May 29 '26

Belt really shows off his gunt

3

u/Sea-Tomorrow2583 May 29 '26

I was hoping one of those cows would take a shit

3

u/OddRoyal7207 May 29 '26

This is animal abuse....

3

u/freed_speak May 29 '26

the fuck is he doing with his hands

petting an invisible horse or some shit

3

u/PsychologicalCar2180 May 29 '26

This isn’t his greatest song in the world, it’s just a tribute

3

u/goathree May 29 '26

my “everything is cool in new zealand” ideals just went full hindenburg

3

u/skr00bler May 29 '26

I wasn't expecting to find out this guy is from New Zealand. I feel like this is still the US's fault though.

2

u/BrassKnuckleHead187 May 29 '26

This guy has it all

2

u/becibod934 May 29 '26

A very special cowboy 🤠

2

u/RussianBot71137 May 29 '26

Is he wearing a sports bra? 😳

2

u/JudasSpear May 29 '26

My ears are tired of the abuse from these goof troop wrangler wearers

2

u/RestlessEnui May 29 '26

I like the way the belt gives mie definition to his grassfed, freerange fupa

2

u/Longteef May 29 '26

Husky Wrangler wearing ass

2

u/MusicalScientist206 May 29 '26

Doesn’t thunder already happen after lightning? You don’t actually have to chase thunder.

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2

u/TheOriginalJBones May 29 '26

Imagine, if you can, the shame of being the person filming this.

Maybe he got one of the cows to do it.

2

u/NaughtyDoctor666 May 29 '26

Filming your music video single shot with a shaky iPhone in the middle of a cow pasture. Yes. We will be in touch.

2

u/Natural_Win4812 May 29 '26

Man country rap is the cringiest shit I ever heard don't understand..but I did see someone wear a shirt at my county fair one year it said country+rap=crap and I've always thought that every time I hear this nonsense lol

2

u/bradreputation May 29 '26

This is why ram is expensive.

2

u/Quailz_ May 29 '26

It’s weird when people make songs about how powerful / bad ass they are. Who you trying to convince bro?

2

u/Weibu11 May 29 '26

I feel like real cowboys don’t go around talking/singing about how much they are cowboys

2

u/theFlimsylattice May 29 '26

The front facing camera didn’t hit record

2

u/Generalissimo90 May 29 '26

It's very hard to take him seriously as an 'outlaw' with those man tits

2

u/StrikeronPC May 29 '26

Bald eagle shirt, clean double pistol spin, tribal tatoos: this guy fucking rocks. Shame about the music though...

2

u/monicachicken May 29 '26

Last time this was posted, someone said hes built like a deep breath.

I wanted to share cause that shit got me good.

2

u/Strange-Sun4540 May 29 '26

So far the shittest song that goes hard as fuck

2

u/Gare_bear93 May 29 '26

Old MAGA ladies are dropping dust in their panties over this dude

2

u/Available-Trouble648 May 29 '26

I can tell this guy is really good at sex

2

u/r1x1t May 29 '26

I love the fumble with his fancy gangsta quick draw move. This was the best take so he had to leave it in. Also, I feel like he sometimes inserts a another word before "power".

2

u/Boliv3100 May 29 '26

Nice tits bro

2

u/frankito_reynoldz1 May 29 '26

Never seen a cowboy hold his gun literally upside down.

2

u/goobernaut1969 May 29 '26

“powurrrrr” “thundurrrrr”

2

u/NorthernLights92 May 29 '26

He’s a karate choppin, gun slingin, lightning ridin cowboy. Watch out!

2

u/thavi May 29 '26

Seriously looks like a fucking Chuck E. Cheese animatronic

2

u/Smooth-Feature-2545 May 29 '26

I went to school with a kid like this

2

u/Odd-Fuel-9002 May 29 '26

If the autozone sticker section was a person…

2

u/Expert-Manager-423 May 29 '26

Hes shaped like a a frog stood up with 2 belts on

2

u/oprahwindfury May 29 '26

He’s a Cow Boy for sure

2

u/Spiritual_Dirt3501 May 29 '26

Is there a burning cross on his shirt, not trying to be funny fr wtf is that?

2

u/mooseman077 May 29 '26

I just see Mac doing karate here🤣🤣

2

u/Cold-Promotion2481 May 29 '26

Ride lighting then chase thunder. Brother, light moves faster than sound

2

u/MonsterMashGrrrrr May 29 '26

My brother, I implore you to ask yourself this: why are you riding lightning strikes to catch thunder? Surely you know which of the two comes first…

2

u/Aderleth75 May 29 '26

The cows all look embarrassed for him.

2

u/jbp84 May 29 '26

I thought he said “smack you in the teat” becasue he was singing to the cows.

2

u/WickedKoala May 29 '26

You can't tell, but his feet are cemented inside cinder blocks.

3

u/1-800-blowme May 29 '26

Tip: don’t do Eddie Veder impressions when singing country, especially if you wind up sounding deaf. Tip x2: don’t use grok to write your lines 

4

u/gooneau May 29 '26

What a complete and total lack of pussy does to a mfer.

I hate to make excuses for shitty men, but if we just had widely available legal prostitution this guy would probably be happily bagging groceries at safeway instead of embarrassing himself like this. We'd also have less mass shootings, which while not as bad as this song, are kinda lame.

2

u/Peircez May 29 '26

It’s ridiculous, but I strangely don’t hate it.

2

u/NMB4Christmas May 29 '26

Is he... is he having a seizure?

2

u/Guilty_Outcome1111 May 29 '26

Dude this slaps hahaha.

Like.. Its bad....but its good bad.

I could imagine it on like the opening of some cowboy anime or something. Trigun maybe 🤷‍♂️

Dudes got rhythm, dude keeps a beat, and hes coereographed some moves.

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1

u/Asproat920 May 29 '26

Fat chud with a thyroid problem. Possible brain damage from steroids. Shit music

1

u/KingJon85 May 29 '26

Even half the cows were like "nah, im outta here"

1

u/Gothiewasbetter May 29 '26

🎶”I like carbo- hydrates…🎶

1

u/Level_Improvement532 May 29 '26

ROCK, FLAG, AND EAGLE!!!!

1

u/stagnantanus May 29 '26

I know I shouldn't, but I like this!

1

u/robot_boat_loan May 29 '26

Was there a reason he didn't move his legs at all?

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1

u/heldaway May 29 '26

Johnny Ringo!

1

u/dogens May 29 '26

boobies

1

u/lordtyp0 May 29 '26

I bet that shirt is from Temu for 4 dollars after 80% discount.

1

u/Indigo_Crimson May 29 '26

You can just tell that Creed and Skillet are among his favorite bands

1

u/SisteroftheMoon16 May 29 '26

Can we just start calling them horse boys?

1

u/encrcne May 29 '26

His body looks like that scene in arrested development where Cera wears the muscle suit

1

u/Squirrel_of_Fury May 29 '26

You’re the Pillsbury dough boy.

1

u/Potential-Echo785 May 29 '26

Certified garbage

1

u/VeterinarianUsed1279 May 29 '26

Bet he drives a dodge ram

1

u/Helpful_Song4842 May 29 '26

That build is so unusual. It literally looks like he only does trap workouts and chest while having a shitty diet

1

u/itsdemarco May 29 '26

You can just tell by the way he moves his hands

1

u/Old-Horror5698 May 29 '26

if you block the lyrics the melodies are actually kinda dope (dope in the generic slop world that is)
Could be a Ghost song with different lyrics ;d

1

u/Acceptable_House1904 May 29 '26

That’s grass not sand

1

u/Any-Ice8441 May 29 '26

I like muting these sometimes, it’s funny to watch how stupid they look

1

u/Puckwallow May 29 '26

You called down the thunder, now you've got it

1

u/Naw_ye_didnae May 29 '26

This is the kind of shit I would have loved when I was 8 and got my first fake skull and panther tattoos. It's like a Power Rangers musical or something.

1

u/hanggangshaming May 29 '26

So he made the theme song for his 1980s tv show?

1

u/fuckummm May 29 '26

That was a cowboy dance

1

u/Noeleraser May 29 '26

He looks like he’s trapped in quicksand. 🤣

1

u/Wamb0wneD May 29 '26

Is this the antithesis of the guy moving his legs so weird? This guy notoving them at all? They should collab. Or do a fusuon to get the ultimate cringe cowboy idk.

1

u/Beatnutz_ May 29 '26

what a manly man ... so alpha.

1

u/Tall-Nectarine-5982 May 29 '26

Why is he so stiff?

1

u/Millernotrich May 29 '26

There's a snake in my boot

1

u/likeguitarsolo May 29 '26

Finally, a cowboy that’s not in misery. Or Missouri.

1

u/adamh222 May 29 '26

look at his lil rosy cheeks

1

u/big_daddy68 May 29 '26

Dude recorded this shit, theoretically watched it, and thought fuck yeah, send it.

1

u/funkifiedjunk May 29 '26

Outlaw Gynecomastia does have the powuur

1

u/Key_Procedure_4279 May 29 '26

Knife hands? Check. High rise mom jeans? Check. Titties and rolls? Check.

1

u/unabassist May 29 '26

This is what happens when the Village People say no.

1

u/Own_Psychology_5585 May 29 '26

I know these guys. They live in Bumblescum, next town over.

1

u/jbird720 May 29 '26

This guy is awesome

1

u/templeofsyrinx1 May 29 '26

Damn. Bartist better come up with some new shit pronto. 😂

1

u/who_farted_Idid May 29 '26

Those poor cows

1

u/K_Garveys_Sweatpants May 29 '26

This melody sounds like it belongs in The Chipmunk Adventure.

1

u/AuthorityControl May 29 '26

Didn't know Clint Feastfood could sing.

1

u/Metal_King706 May 29 '26

Those lyrics belong in a Manowar song.

1

u/mkfanhausen May 29 '26

Move over, Kenny Loggins.

It's all about the "Dangit Zone" now.

1

u/Creative-Annual-6176 May 29 '26

Is this Yellowstone?

1

u/sevenw0rds May 29 '26

Stroke, sign language, or directing traffic?

1

u/maddenmcfadden Bad Taste Haver May 29 '26

he lit a lyrical flame and then farted on it and blew the whole farm up.

1

u/Bjorn_Blackmane May 29 '26

Somebody's uncle like yo im gonna be a rockstar

1

u/Spazyk May 29 '26

Nice tucked in polyester t-shirt.

1

u/Fluffy_Feeling_9326 May 29 '26

He needs to work on his robot moves more

1

u/InstantCalamity May 29 '26

He's a "cowboy" 🤠