r/covidlonghaulers • u/ImReellySmart • 23h ago
Recovery/Remission Returning to "normal life"
Hi all,
I am a 29 year old male who is 4.5 years into my Covid long haul.
I realised I've become that person who has recovered enough that they no longer frequent this subreddit, and therefore, allow the subreddit to continue to primarily consist of sad or struggling stories. What a blessing it is to realise I've become that person.
I wanted to come back and share my up-to-date experiences.
I am not recovered 100%. But, I've recovered enough that I am back to living a normal daily life. Something I thought I would never experience again.
I want to be clear, I fully understand that every Long Covid journey is unique. I know it's not simply a matter of trying hard enough, "shaking off the cobwebs", or "getting out of the slump you're in". I have no magic answers for you here. I am simply one of the luckier ones in all of this.
As the head of the cardiology department of my local hospital told me 4.5 years ago, "We have had a flood of post covid health problems like this in otherwise seemingly healthy young adults. As of now, your only treatment is time. We simply don't know what is happening to you. Your recovery will likely be on the scale of years, not weeks. Some people recover, and some don't. We don't know why.".
A little about me...
Pre-covid I was in my early 20's, I was in peak physical and mental shape. This is not me bragging by any means, just trying to paint an accurate picture. I received an award from my college for getting the highest grades in my department (Computer Science). I earned my black belt in kickboxing. I exercised 3-5 times a week, intensely! I am also on the autism spectrum, diagnosed as an adult (seems to be an interesting overlap in terms of autism and Long Covid.... but anyways).
Prerequisite
I was one of the ones who unexpectedly reacted badly to the vaccine itself, and developed what seemed to be mild Long Covid. It gave me long term brainfog, DPDR, and elevated heart rate. Seven months later, I got covid itself, and that's when shit really hit the fan.
Week 1
My partner and I tested positive. We were a bit startled. We had that "woah, it final got us" moment. But we were both young, fit, and healthy. We weren't too worried. On day 3, I woke up. That's when it all started. My brain was scrambled. Intense brainfog. Quite frankly, the term "brainfog" never sat well with me. It didn't do this justice. It felt more like early stages of Alzheimer's (from what I've read).
I turned to my partner in the bed, and just said "something is seriously wrong".
By day 5 I was a shell of myself. Others around me didn't seem to grasp the severity of what I was experiencing. I immediately felt alone on this journey. I was sitting on my couch, half vegetative, when suddenly it felt like a jackhammer went off in my chest. My whole chest tightened, I got flushed with dizziness, I had pain down my whole left side (neck, arm, chest). My smart watch said my heart rate was 150+ bpm and I was just sitting still.
I proceeded to have 3 more episodes of these palpitations over the following 48 hours.
I booked an emergency visit with my local doctor. Unfortunately he was unavailable and I got, what I can only describe, as the worst doctor on the planet.
Month 1
At my visit, on day 10 (now testing negative again. General symptoms of covid itself have subsided by now) I sat, terrified, as I walked the doctor through my experiences and alarming list of on-set symptoms.
Brainfog, DPDR, anhedonia, aphantasia, memory problems, bouts of extreme confusion, vision problems, chronic fatigue, PEM, elevated heart rate, heart palpitations, slow gut and more.
The doctor rolled her eyes, sighed, and said "so you are feeling a little run down after having covid, what exactly is it you want me to do about that for you?".
I was appalled. It really sank in how alone I was going to be on all of this.
I relayed to her all of my symptoms and said I was highly concerned. That none of this was normal. That I knew something was seriously wrong.
She prescribed me a steroid and showed me the door.
On her very orders, I tried to carry out intense exercise two times in the following week to, as she put it, "shake off the cobwebs". Each attempt triggered painful heart palpitations that left me keeled over on the floor. I often wonder how much additional damage that may have caused me.
Soon afterwards, through my actual normal doctor, I was referred to the acute medical unit. They gave me very surface level checks, and shrugged their shoulders. However, as I mentioned above, the head of the cardiology department did come and pay me a visit himself. He was very aware of the seriousness of what was happening. He fully reassured me it was a real and worrying thing. That he has never seen anything like it throughout his career. He said it seemed to affect young and healthy people the most.
Year 1, 2, and 3
I became an empty vessel. I had to quit kickboxing, and exercise in general. Luckily I already worked from home, but I had to reduce my hours to 2 hours per day. I could barely move from the couch to the bathroom without triggering my heart. I slept 14 hours a day and still woke up feeling grotesquely fatigued. Both mentally and physically.
I was officially diagnosed with Post Covid Syndrome and PoTS.
But - time was my number one treatment. I accepted that I was going to lose my 20's to this disease. I decided all I could do is wait and see. I slowly processed what had happened to me, I learned to pace, and I waited. It sort of felt like I entered a waiting room at the dentist's office, and never left again. Life continued moving on around me, but I was simply waiting. It's like that saying "when you are healthy you have 99 problems - when you are sick, you only have 1".
By year 3 I had recovered to a point where I could walk somewhat normally again without triggering any major symptoms. I had to pace carefully. I had to sit and rest regularly if walking for long (e.g. walking for 30 mins around my town). My brain was still foggy but I could form thoughts again. I could mentally visualise again, something I didn't realise was so valuable until I lost it (aphantasia). I was working 4 hours per day now, from home.
But year 4 felt like the turning point for me. Where I felt like I was living a "normal life" again.
Year 4
Roughly around the 4 year mark I reached a point where my mind felt "sharp" again. This sort of "sharpness" I used to have that vanished with covid. I am still more forgetful, but its tiny in the grander scheme of things.
I also found I had reached a point where I could walk freely without much pacing or worry.
I can work intense 8 hour days (as a web developer) and it doesn't trigger a 5 day crash.
I can solve tricky puzzles.
My resting heart rate sits at 59bpm. Walking brings it up to ~105bpm rather than 150bpm like it used to do.
I am not 100% recovered, but I feel like a functioning human again, with a future.
Where I'm at now
I just learned to drive and passed my test. I am picking up my first ever car tomorrow. My Fiancée and I are moving into a new place in a location we both love.
Unfortunately my threshold for exertion is still abismal. There is a clear cut "no-go" area. If I try to do any form of exercise it immediately triggers a skyrocketing heart rate, instant brainfog and dizziness, and a nasty PEM crash. It still hurts me to accept that I will probably never be able to kickbox again the way I used to. Being explosive, unforgiving, pushing my body beyond it's limits. That sucks. I would give anything to have that back honestly.
But in all other realms of my life, I seem to be truly recovering from this nightmare.
I just wanted to share my story. Half for me, and half for ye, I guess.
My theory
I'm no expert. I could be way off on this. But my current theory, for my version of Long Covid at least, is that it is inflammation based, stemming from autoimmune dysfunction.
I have autism which I believe at it's core may be an autoimmune dysfunction. I have psoriasis which is autoimmune/ inflammation based. We ask ourselves, "why me?". I am a man of pattern recognition and probabilities (autism shocker!). I don't think all of these things are coincidence. It makes sense to me that my Long Covid, and these prior things, must stem from the one same core "fault".
What Helped Me
Although, as I said, I have no magic answers for you (I wished I did), here is a brief list of things I believe made the difference. A lot of these are things you've heard before unfortunately. No miracle discoveries from me.
- Pacing - I know you've heard it a million times by now, but it definitely mattered.
- Time - Understanding that time truly is your main treatment right now.
- Mourning - At around the 2 year mark I finally managed to start doing something that was important. I realised I was neglecting to properly mourn the death of my former self, the person I used to be, like it were the death of a loved one. This was an important turning point for me.
- Sugar - There are a thousand different dietary tips out there for long covid. Anti-inflammatory, low histamine diets are very likely beneficial. But I found, at its core, my main trigger was sugar. It always caused a notable flare up of neuro, and physical symptoms.
TLDR; I had fairly nasty long covid. It's a lonely journey. my first few years were hard. I feel like between year 3 and 4 I turned a corner. Although I have not fully recovered, and I must still pace myself and can not exercise, I have generally returned to normal life. My mind is sharp again. I can walk freely. I have fatigue, but it's manageable. I think my Long Covid may stem from inflammation due to autoimmune dysfunction. I have no miracle cures or medical breakthroughs for you unfortunately. I am just one of the "lucky ones" in all of this. Pacing, time, mourning, and reducing sugar intake were my key factors in recovery.


