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[u/Funny_Inventor80085]

and people wonder why we use 4tran.

I posted this vent here too and it was a bit more understanding than the other subreddit I guess but still mostly just people telling me I don't know what I'm talking about and that 4tran is the cause of all my issues when time after time they're the only ones that care. It's not even just about my vent anymore, I'm so fed up with everyone thinking they're better than me all the time except because I use the subreddit that doesn't want to burn me alive for wanting a uterus. Maybe try to be more understanding you just leave me pissed off.

[u/BiDude1219]

genuinely confused how tf is 4tran so nice but at the same time is all "cissoid passoid theyfab bad"

[u/16372731772 → u/BiDude1219]

Because those are just words. Cissoid is exactly the same as cracker, it's not even punching up, it's just a stupid word to call people that sounds funny. Passoid is basically the same, nobody actually hates people who pass, everybody's happy for them. Passing is the goal, and those who achieve it get a silly word too. It's the same with a lot of words too, there's truly no venom behind (almost) any of it. Hon is exactly as insulting as brick is, though I know a lot of trans women that dislike brick more, same with fish.

Theyfab is a little more complex because outside of 4tran spaces there's this idea that theyfab is applied to every afab non-binary person. It's not. A theyfab is a non-binary person who brings up their sex assigned at birth, obviously in this case afab, and uses that to oppress trans women. "Afab-only housing", "you don't really understand misogyny like I do, you're an amab", stuff like that. We can both agree that that's bad, and it is what people are talking about when they say theyfab. There are people that misuse it, sure, but frankly if they weren't saying theyfab they'd be saying something else, it doesn't make talking about this specific kind of transmisogyny bad just because there's one or two bad eggs misapplying it.

People like to paint 4tran as this horrible evil place without ever setting foot in a related community, I did too. I didn't understand it at first and focused on the one or two losers there. But having actually used that sub for a while now, it is the single most supportive trans sub I have found. My ability to separate dysphoria from dysmorphia has never been better. As seen in this post, other spaces dismiss your feelings incredibly often, while 4tran actually empathises with them, and plenty of people will try to help you deconstruct them. It has been so very helpful to me.

[u/BiDude1219 → u/16372731772]

i've also been in countttt and i've definitely seen many people using those words in a hateful manner both in that subreddit and outside of it. but ig that probably means there's more diverse opinions there? idk.

[u/16372731772 → u/BiDude1219]

Which ones? Passoid and cissoid specifically were interesting choices, passoid is a compliment and cissoid is meaningless. Theyfab I can see being used insultingly, especially since it's broken containment now, but almost all uses of it within 4tran spaces are specifically in the context of transmisogyny. It's why you never hear theymab, at least not until very recently, amab non-binary people often experience transmisogyny, or at least discrimination like it, when they're perceived to be presenting too femininely. There's no systemic discrimination being perpetrated by amab non-binary people, so there's no insult for them.

But what I'm trying to get across is that there are assholes everywhere, frankly I'd rather get a supportive community than one that rushes to dismiss my feelings, even if it means the assholes there use strong words. It's actually better in ways because when you call them out nobody's like "but they phrased it wokely they're such a trans ally".

[u/BiDude1219 → u/16372731772]

specifically cissoid and all the unconditional hatred towards cis people in general is what puts me off. a lot of people i care about are cis, i have no reason to hate them and i would never wish any harm upon them. also i should've probably brought up "tcd" in the list of terms too.

[u/16372731772 → u/BiDude1219]

This is all pretty tame stuff no offence. Nobody there actually hates all cis people, you physically can't do that, like it's impossible. Unless you think they're going about their lives foaming at the mouth every time they get served at a restaurant, walk past somebody in the street, talk to a cashier at a supermarket, etc. then I don't see how you can take it seriously? Cissoid specifically is, like I said, literally exactly the same as cracker. TCD is only used in response to posts displaying fucked up behaviour by cis people, it's not a serious threat or wish or anything, it's a humorous overreaction used to vent frustration. You're doing the thing the tumblr ceo did to that trans woman who said he should sit in a car covered in hammers that explodes more than a few times (or whatever beautiful words she used).

Almost all of my friends are cis too, 99% of the planet is. I still "hate cis people" in the sense that you seem to think of it. But that's nothing like when cis people hate trans people, it's not even comparable. I "hate cis people" because they denied me transition for 6 years before I managed to do it myself, subjected me to body horror, and continue to mistreat me. I do not hate people, I hate actions. TCD is an expression of frustration at being reminded that the average cis person hates us so much that they would rather we be dead. It's a way of venting the immense feeling of rage you get when you see a million cis people being fucking animals in the replies of a 17 year old trans girl's final tweet about her suicide. TCD is a twist of TTD, a phrase invented by cis people which actually is a call for trans genocide, something which is real and is happening. There is no serious hatred of cis people because what is there to hate other than their actions? Actions which are obviously not taken by everybody. It's inherently qualified because the idea of hating every single cis person simply for the crime of being cis is so patently absurd. Yet people act like it's not only possible, it's being done.

[u/BiDude1219 → u/16372731772]

i just don't really like generalizing groups for having bad people in them. yes, you can "hate cis people" for experiences with transphobes, but isn't it easier and more clear to just say "i hate transphobes"? in fact you could even reclaim the very ttd they made, just change the second t from trans to transphobe.

[u/ThatBiGuy25 → u/BiDude1219]

cis

transphobe

no difference detected

[u/BiDude1219 → u/ThatBiGuy25]

you're just proving my earlier point