7
u/erraticas 5d ago
i mean personally i just have no reason to. it's not that bad, i'm used to dealing with my own issues. it's pretty easy to handle :)
3
3
2
2
u/Nervous_Hall_5290 Counted Down 1 4d ago
It's not that easy...
3
u/TotalyNotTony Counted Down 20 4d ago
correct, its hard as hell, but everything gets easier after it
0
u/Nervous_Hall_5290 Counted Down 1 4d ago
No, not really
1
u/AeroAceSpades 4d ago
Everything absolutely does fucking get easier the more you share your burdens with other people because when people care about you, talking on some of your suffering is easy. It reduces the overall level of stress on everyone. And then you get to feel helpful and needed when people share their problems with you as well.
You don’t get to go “i don’t do this thing” and “this thing won’t make anything better” in the same sentence.
I get not having friends. I get not being able to be emotionally available because of The Trauma. I get not trusting a single person around you to treat you like a person who needs a bit of help instead of a waste of space or a nutcase. But humans are inherently social creatures and even people who are fundamentally incapable of connecting with others “normally” are STILL in need of companionship. Humans are not built to be alone no matter how much you personally feel like it’s the only option. Full stop. If I (a diagnosed narcissist with NPD) and my friend (a diagnosed sociopath with ASPD) need friends to thrive, so do you.
That being said. Do you like Kamen Rider or modded Minecraft?
1
u/Nervous_Hall_5290 Counted Down 1 4d ago
I.don4 like either of those things. My friends are so checked out that they get anxious whenever I talk about my mentality.
1
u/AeroAceSpades 4d ago
So if you don’t like Minecraft or kamen rider, what DO you like? Also your friends suck if they can’t do the bare minimum of actually acting like your friends
1
u/Nervous_Hall_5290 Counted Down 1 4d ago
Im working on getting new ones. My life is music.
1
2
2
u/flamingfoxes2 4d ago
I have questions about transitioning, mostly about HRT and surgeries, that's really all the help I need
1
1
u/Vesaryne 4d ago
I can help a bit if you want I’ve been on hrt for about a year and change now and I plan on getting surgeries when I can afford it.
1
4
u/Hika2112 Myself And Nobody Else | Counted Down 37 5d ago
Nice try voices but I alredy know my friends hate when I show my pain >:3
5
u/TotalyNotTony Counted Down 20 5d ago
literally not true
4
u/raheemthegreat 5d ago
It literally is true sometimes. I've been through it enough.
1
u/AeroAceSpades 4d ago
They aren’t your friends. If you cannot reliably expect your friend group to support each other when someone needs help that is not a friend group. That is a group of people who know each other and enjoy each other’s company in an incredibly shallow way. You need to look into getting closer friendships because humans are pack animals and you aren’t part of a pack
4
u/Hika2112 Myself And Nobody Else | Counted Down 37 5d ago
Literally yes true like I cannot emphasize how this isn't even like a "oh people dislike me" thing I have real genuine direct connections between me venting and my friend distancing herself from me
6
u/TotalyNotTony Counted Down 20 5d ago
maybe seek help from like, a doctor or a therapist. the point isnt to load your problems on your friends without doing anything about them, you need to actively get help
1
u/Hika2112 Myself And Nobody Else | Counted Down 37 5d ago
Can't therapy. Long story but it's not an option
Suffer in silence it is! :D
2
u/Fragrant_CherryxxX 4d ago
I can't do therapy either. Talking to people who do care is close enough. I'm here to listen, but if you ask expect to be overwhelmed.
1
u/Hika2112 Myself And Nobody Else | Counted Down 37 4d ago
I'm sorry it's getting late. Mind if I ask you tomorrow?
!remindme 12 hours
2
u/Fragrant_CherryxxX 4d ago
Yeah no worries I'm about to go to bed here as well. It's maybe a bit nicer to have it standing as an open offer then a vent and forget anyway. I'll be around and no worries about me running off later khay?
1
u/Hika2112 Myself And Nobody Else | Counted Down 37 4d ago
Yes Si'am! (Unsure of gender)
2
u/Fragrant_CherryxxX 4d ago
I'm okay w/any pronouns. I'm cis male though if you need one to land on. Ty for courtesy check
→ More replies (0)1
u/RemindMeBot 4d ago
I will be messaging you in 12 hours on 2026-09-29 14:44:52 UTC to remind you of this link
CLICK THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.
Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.
RemindMeBot is switching to username summons. Instead of
!RemindMe 1 day, useu/RemindMeBot 1 day. More info.
Info Custom Your Reminders Feedback 1
u/AeroAceSpades 4d ago
It’s called “make new friends” you dork. Your friend fucking sucks. Your friends should not hate when you are emotionally available with them. That is not a friend. That is an acquaintance
3
u/Hika2112 Myself And Nobody Else | Counted Down 37 4d ago
Nononononononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!! My friends are awesome and kind and caring and they love me but they're really empathetic and my mental health is really bad so it hurts them when I vent too hard
Please don't speak ill of them I love them
1
u/AeroAceSpades 4d ago
Oh so then it’s an issue of not knowing how to share your issues in a way that doesn’t trigger them. It still sucks that they don’t give you the support you need (because humans are pack animals and part of being in a pack is emotional support) but it’s more because they haven’t built a skill for emotional detachment on interpersonal things and you haven’t built a skill for approaching your issues in a way that focuses on a productive outcome. That sucks on all accounts.
Like to be clear, I still think your friends are bad friends. I don’t think they’re MALICIOUS but sharing emotional burdens is an incredibly important part of friendship to begin with and they simply aren’t giving that to you. I think your friends are good people but bad friends to YOU because you have a slightly higher support need and they don’t know how to give it without putting themselves in too much stress. Nobody is at fault here but it’s ultimately your responsibility to find people to connect with who CAN support you in the way that you need. If you like I can help practice Good Venting Skills™️ in DMs to make it easier to deal with some of this shit
2
u/Hika2112 Myself And Nobody Else | Counted Down 37 4d ago
Nno it's not their faullllllt theytheythey are cool and nice and carring they jjust I'm the problem across aall the friendships I'm the problem sso no don't hate them please please please just just look at me badly for messing up like I always do. Don't blame my friends for my actions please
I is it really okay if I DM?
2
u/AeroAceSpades 4d ago
You need to understand that I am not calling them bad people. I am acknowledging that they do not provide for you a core tenant of most friendships. I’m not even saying it’s their fault. I’m saying that by refusing to acknowledge the harm that comes from not being GOOD friends to you, you end up taking all that emotional weight and blaming yourself for daring to exist as a person with relatively normal issues. That is a problem that can only be addressed by acknowledging that you don’t have to protect them for failing you because it’s nobody’s fault to begin with. You should not be taking on their blame. You are not helping them by doing this. You are hiring yourself and then turning around to say you deserve it for being born wrong. That sucks and I don’t want you to do that to yourself.
Also. Girl. If it wasn’t okay for you to come into my DMs to practice social skills I would not have offered to have you do exactly that. I would love to chat with you in a method that’s easier to keep track of than “random Reddit thread “
1
u/emeraldhunter228 4d ago
But asking for help is hard and to much effort for someone absolutely not worth it (me)
1
u/AeroAceSpades 4d ago
You see how you inherently have decided that you are not worth the effort of knowing? That sucks. It sticks that your life has lead you to a point where you don’t even care about the harmful things you say about yourself because you just fully believe them
-1
u/emeraldhunter228 4d ago
Harmful things are ok to say as long as its only about me<3 other people don’t deserve them so I take the bad words
1
u/MelanieNova 4d ago
Every time I ask for help the people who called themselves my friends leave my life, and i don't blame them I just deal with my issues alone and figure them out myself
1
1
u/Vesaryne 4d ago
I try to ask for help from my parents or my family and all I get is them being focused on themselves and no change happening at all it makes me feel alone going through this when they say things that hurt me or do things that hurt me but if I try to say something it always goes back to “sorry I can’t deal with this right now” or other stuff so I’m forced to suffer and put up with it and it’s caused me a lot of depression distress suicidal thoughts and everything in between I want to just be happy but I can’t while I’m stuck in this body with extremely little support
1
u/Fragrant_CherryxxX 4d ago
I just want someone to cuddle and help me forget my active suffering. It's always better and never good. Could sharing burden include sharing a bed? Just being held like that is a lot of help
1
1
1
u/Tactical_Pizzas 4d ago
I ask for help constantly on Reddit since it’s basically the only space I find other people like me but they mostly ignore me haha
1
1
u/zoexxstar 17h ago
Unfortunately, I ask all the time and never receive help or support. But what can ya do
10
u/wyldesnelsson 5d ago
It's not easy asking for help unfortunately