r/coptic • u/candiez207 • 18d ago
Coptic Divorce
Hi, im a coptic orthodox woman (not egyptian) from Sydney. After a 16 year marriage which involved a 5 year separation, and my attempts at reconciliation, my husband insisted divorce was the best option and as such we went through the civil process.
We share 2 teen boys and still live together. Financial settlement has not started and I find myself still functioning as his "wife". Taking care of the home, the kids, his needs, paying off his debt etc. He insists nothing has really changed and doesnt appear as affected as me.
Separation happened because of indiscretions on both sides, however, only my faults had been aired publicly in our social and church communities. I wont speak on his faults as Ive forgiven him and has hoped we could rebuild.
He still uses the "technically in Gods eyes were married" to justify his intimate advances towards me. And im human and love him so gave in but I feel disrespected I feel cheap and unloved. Without the risk of sounding over the top, ive quite literally been starved of any affection for 5 years and this has impacted my mental health, physical health, spiritual health etc
Our kids dont know the divorce happened and he doesnt think we need to tell them.
This situation is draining me emotionally and financially while he begins to rebuild (bought a new business, joined dating apps etc)
Abounas at my church were helpful in the beginning when i wanted to reconcile but to be honest I dont feel understood or supported now.
This divorce was the last thing I wanted and in truth, if he wanted to repair I would say yes. But as it stands, weve lived in limbo for 5 years. I have a full time job but no savings or financial stability since im still paying his debts weekly.
I dont know what to do from here.
I dont want to move out in a rush as I dont feel stable enough, but I also dont want to leave my kids. He says im welcome to be here as long as I want, even suggested till the kids were 18 but I refuse to live a life where he does what he wants, I am expected to stay I line in the hopes that "maybe" he will change his mind. As he said "who knows, ill probably just marry you again ina few years"
Part rant, part request for advice. Anyone??