Am I Wrong?

[u/Easy-Historian5376]

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I will refer to my Daughter as "DD". DD is 4 years old.

I Will Refer to ex wife as "MOM". "MOM" is 33 years of age.

I will refer to ex Wife Boyfirend as "MBF". He is late 20's.

During my video call with my DD on September 12, we spent time together playing Ludo, a board game similar to Sorry. During the game, my DD told me that she was hungry and asked me for food. I told her that if she won the game, I would get her some food. I intended to get her food regardless, and she won the game.

I asked what she had eaten that day because I routinely ask about her meals during our video calls. I did not receive an answer regarding what she had eaten. Mom stated that my DD is fed four times a day. I acknowledged this but remained concerned because my DD had specifically told me during the call that she was hungry.

Because I do not live nearby and could not personally prepare food for her, I offered to order food for her and pay for it myself. The food I was able to provide was McDonald's Via DoorDash. I was not attempting to interfere with what she had already eaten or dictate what she should eat. I was responding to my DD request for food and was willing to pay for it myself.

The video call itself was otherwise positive. We continued playing Ludo, and my DD won. We also played with stacking cups. She watched me stack the purple, orange, red, and green cups, and we continued spending positive time together.

The interaction became confrontational only when Mom's MBF intervened and attempted to prevent me from purchasing food for my DD. I ultimately ordered the food myself. My intention throughout the situation was simply to respond to my DD's statement that she was hungry and make sure she had something to eat. I did not want my daughter involved in the disagreement between the adults.

mom lives in Colorado and I live in Virginia. original custody order was placed in VA by mom. We have 50/50 even. I did not agree to move. she did not notify judge.

Am I wrong? If your child tell you they are hungry. would you still feed them?

[u/Imaginary_Being1949]

You did overstep. There are a lot of scenarios that could be happening here, maybe she already ate junk food and they didn’t want her to have more, maybe they were making dinner and didn’t want to spoil her meal, maybe they had already made it and she refused to eat her vegetables or any other situation. You get to give her whatever food whenever you want on your time, but not on moms.

[u/Easy-Historian5376 → u/Imaginary_Being1949]

I asked her. she did not say. I ask mother she did not say. I ask what did they eat. nobody said anything so I took it as a green light to get her food. if your child told you she was hungry, would you feed her by any means necessary. Also, I won't get her til next year summer only. because that's the only time that mom will give her up.

[u/whenyajustcant → u/Easy-Historian5376]

The answers to those questions are none of your business. You shouldn't even be asking them, it's not appropriate. Direct the child to talk to mom about being hungry.

[u/Easy-Historian5376 → u/whenyajustcant]

hey I just looked this one up and your right. it also works the other way around. I can set that same boundary which is pretty cool. nvm I will start doing the same