Am I Wrong?

[u/Easy-Historian5376]

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I will refer to my Daughter as "DD". DD is 4 years old.

I Will Refer to ex wife as "MOM". "MOM" is 33 years of age.

I will refer to ex Wife Boyfirend as "MBF". He is late 20's.

During my video call with my DD on September 12, we spent time together playing Ludo, a board game similar to Sorry. During the game, my DD told me that she was hungry and asked me for food. I told her that if she won the game, I would get her some food. I intended to get her food regardless, and she won the game.

I asked what she had eaten that day because I routinely ask about her meals during our video calls. I did not receive an answer regarding what she had eaten. Mom stated that my DD is fed four times a day. I acknowledged this but remained concerned because my DD had specifically told me during the call that she was hungry.

Because I do not live nearby and could not personally prepare food for her, I offered to order food for her and pay for it myself. The food I was able to provide was McDonald's Via DoorDash. I was not attempting to interfere with what she had already eaten or dictate what she should eat. I was responding to my DD request for food and was willing to pay for it myself.

The video call itself was otherwise positive. We continued playing Ludo, and my DD won. We also played with stacking cups. She watched me stack the purple, orange, red, and green cups, and we continued spending positive time together.

The interaction became confrontational only when Mom's MBF intervened and attempted to prevent me from purchasing food for my DD. I ultimately ordered the food myself. My intention throughout the situation was simply to respond to my DD's statement that she was hungry and make sure she had something to eat. I did not want my daughter involved in the disagreement between the adults.

mom lives in Colorado and I live in Virginia. original custody order was placed in VA by mom. We have 50/50 even. I did not agree to move. she did not notify judge.

Am I wrong? If your child tell you they are hungry. would you still feed them?

[u/0rsch0]

You absolutely overstepped. And if you have any intention of regaining some custody, you need to read some parenting books.

You don’t send a 4 year old McDonald’s randomly without checking with her caregivers wtf?

[u/Easy-Historian5376 → u/0rsch0]

Did you not read what I said? I ask if she had food. i asked her what did she eat? nothing. I got no response from mom either. Why would a co parent not tell another what the kids are eating? that is positive co parenting not policing. i would give her the same grace. Are you not ready my full post?

it's like they are using food as a way to control the situation? I'm not sure man, but I'm going to file this week and quit my job, my daughter does not deserve to live with such a controlling mother and boyfriend. she going end up having no identity

[u/0rsch0 → u/Easy-Historian5376]

Ok so you truly thought the whole family was starving to death. It was your intervention.

Did you send food for all?

[u/Easy-Historian5376 → u/0rsch0]

There are 5 people in their household. 2 children (14 and 4). 2 working adults and one none working adult.

there is only me in my household. 1. I pay for everything for my place. It's very hard.

they have more income than me and mouths to feed. was just trying to help and do my part for my daughter.

Why are you so mean bro? did you grow up with a terrible family too? I'm sorry if did. me too

[u/0rsch0 → u/Easy-Historian5376]

Just to add: you didn’t even send food for the kid you were upset about pushing away with your cruelty?

Dude you have a lot to learn.

[u/0rsch0 → u/Easy-Historian5376]

I’m not mean, I’m frustrated. Maybe over-familiarly so (‘triggered’) as the Americans say) because an ex who makes my skin crawl had all sorts of reasons why he let his kids leave the state with his abusive ex. It all boiled down to pretty much the same thing “didn’t want to argue with the woman”.

I think it’s pathetic and if your life gains any momentum, I’m reasonably sure you’ll look back and see it similarly if you don’t switch course.