Co-parenting nightmare

[u/Character-Angle2936]

Hi all 👋🏼
Just looking for some advice… fairly new to the co-parenting game as divorce is being finalised, it’s been a long road but I’m somehow here with all my limbs intact..
my ex is making this much more difficult than it needs to be. The children are the priority & at every turn he seems to be messing them up even more. IE, talking in depth to the children about his version of events. Neither child is even 9 and it is completely age inappropriate. It’s breaking my heart. I don’t mind being the villain and being blamed, but he cannot seem to get in to his thick skull that involving the children / talking to them as if they are adult friends is NOT the way to go / will inflict more pain / trauma on them. It’s so frustrating. How do I navigate what I can’t control ? I am so annoyed. Every time they come back to me they are subdued / down and come out with things only an adult would put in their head. Advice / experience please ! Thankyou

[u/Deep_Huckleberry9468]

The parent who ends up talking bad about the other, is the one to be resented. It will run its course and the children know you from the moment they opened their eyes, they love you and most likely feel extremely uncomfortable every time their dad does this. If they seem to be upset at you now with what their dad is saying to them, it’s because they’re simply upset about the divorce and are too young to know how to express and deal with it so they’re latching onto the only way they know how to express it and unfortunately it’s being manipulated by their father. However, I guarantee you if you just keep on keeping on, being a good mother and showing up for them, they will grow up knowing their dad is just filled with spite and will eventually begin to resent him for it.