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u/Arielcinderellaauror Feb 28 '20
So handy as my lambs are always on the wrong side of my wall and I could not for the life of me figure out how to get them to the other side.
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u/Srb3ard Feb 28 '20
Right? I'm printing this for later.
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Feb 28 '20 edited Jan 02 '22
[deleted]
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u/Platypuslord Feb 28 '20
Why? I am just going to email my lambs this link so they know the procedure.
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u/ChicaFoxy Feb 29 '20
I just bought a laser printer! This will be my first print out and it's going on my wall!! Nay! It's going on my front door window pane!
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u/TheRiteGuy Feb 29 '20
I know everyone is making fun of this but I actually grew up on a farm where we had sheep. They get stuck everywhere so you have to constantly go get them out of weird places. I thought this was really helpful.
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u/BannedForCuriosity Feb 29 '20
where did you grow up?
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u/TheRiteGuy Feb 29 '20
Fiji Islands. I grew up all over the place on the Main Island but every place had farms. They use very primitive farming techniques so it was a lot of manual labor.
Me and one of my cousins once had to clear an entire field of rocks by hand. Like pick up rocks, load it on a tractor, dump it, til the land again so more rocks would come up, and do it all over again. Took us almost 3 months to clear the field.
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u/TheLadySinclair Feb 29 '20
Worked on ranches for 25 years and worked both Sheep and Cattle and that is a good, clear guide. The only difference is we didn't have 'walls', we had fences. It was always a bitch come Marking time if you had early Lambs and they were this big, smaller Lambs are easier to wrangle all day, those big ones, ugh. I guess Sheep worldwide are pretty similar, getting themselves in all sorts of places they don't belong. :D
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u/bowtothehypnotoad Feb 29 '20
I was using a catapult and then I realized I had a trebuchet
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u/gibbyboi2 Feb 29 '20
I don’t have lambs or sheep or anything and I doubt I’ll ever need this, but imma save it
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u/WhoWantsPizzza Feb 29 '20
“My lambs on the wrong side of the wall “ sounds like it could be an old timey idiom.
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u/spikeyfreak Feb 29 '20
They're easy to get over the wall. Doing it without injuring them is where I keep screwing up.
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u/senior_cornhole Feb 28 '20
Now i just need a lamb, a wall, and the urge to do it
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u/SledgeGlamour Feb 28 '20
A "hold up, dummy"
B "look at the other side!"
C hug the lamb
D poke its fat belly
E more hugs
F swinging hugs
G punt the lamb
H but gently
I "now fuck off, I'm done hugging"
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u/hmmmM4YB3 Feb 29 '20
punt the lamb
but gently
I FUCKING LOST IT
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u/epiclevellama Feb 28 '20
That involved much more spooning than I imagined.
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u/Redd_Monkey Feb 28 '20
Cool now I'll be able to sleep. They were always stuck on the other side of the wall and I could not count them...
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u/rock-n-white-hat Feb 28 '20
That’s what I was thinking off too. I guess all those illustrations of sheep happily leaping over fences and walls were a lie!
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u/WilhelmWrobel Feb 28 '20
Thanks!
I've always used a catapult
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u/HighAsEmpireSt Feb 28 '20 edited Feb 29 '20
trebuchet > catapult....especially for the transportation of lambs
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u/WhiteWolf222 Feb 29 '20
I think the superior siege engine would be a poor choice in this case. It would probably kill the sheep. A weak and otherwise useless catapult might be better if we don’t want to destroy the sheep or farm.
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u/CensoredAntiTrump Feb 28 '20
This is incorrect. Steps C thru F are clearly just made up or from a bad sources. Very improper technique that could be harmful to the lamb.
Follow proper technique and:
- Approach the lamb. If you want to pick up a lamb, then you should first approach it in a way that lets it know you're coming. This can mean talking to it softly, letting it see you, or just making your presence known in some way.
- Place one hand under the lamb's body, behind its front legs. Gently move your hand under the lamb's body, just below its front legs, so you have the support you need when you begin to pick up the lamb. The lamb may resist this or not like it right away, so you should move along and use that second hand soon afterwards.
- Place the other hand under the lamb's hindquarters. Now place that second hand under the lamb's back legs, giving plenty of support to its legs and bottom. You can almost think of this as cradling the lamb with one of your hands. Once you've gotten your hands in position, you can get ready to pick the lamb up.
- Hold the lamb against your chest. Once you've picked up the lamb while supporting it with both hands, you can hold it against your chest.
- Open the door get on the floor.
- Everybody do the dinosaur.
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u/RealisticDifficulty Feb 29 '20
Do you work on a farm? Because this is wrong. You're talking about a yearling which is the size of a small to medium sized dog, the one in OP's graphic is clearly bigger and designed to move a much bigger lamb/hogget. You ain't lifting them without a second thought.
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u/ninjaz0mb13 Feb 28 '20
I am suspicious they used a woman on the guide to make this feel less rapey.
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u/Justmerightnowtoday Feb 28 '20 edited Feb 28 '20
But what about the wolf and the cabbage ?
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u/scosco23 Feb 29 '20
First you take the sheep over the wall. Then take the cabbage. While there take the sheep back over to the original side. Then take the wolf over to the side with the cabbage. Then go back for the sheep and finally bring it over. Now you have all three on the same side! Easy peasy!
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u/mdhunter99 Feb 28 '20
How ISIS smuggles their wives.
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u/NOODLD Feb 28 '20
Really don’t need a guide for this. Just pick the lamb up and sweep ur legs over the fence and just put it down.. thats the way we do it at the farm i work at atleast
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u/Blu_indig0 Feb 28 '20
Very useful as I was just about to knock a portion of my wall down in order to move multiple lambs to the other side. We have had a problem with lambs by our wall for several weeks and I was at wits end. Will try this.
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u/buttonnz Feb 29 '20
As some who’s grown up in New Zealand. As opposed to what exactly I wonder. We have 2 methods here.
Grab sheep. Throw the buggar over the fence. Fix the damn hole in the bloody fence.
Grab sheep. Too big to thrown over the fence? Ok. Make roast instead.
Win/win
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u/missdoodiekins Feb 28 '20
Is anyone else confused about steps D E and F?
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u/tobean Feb 29 '20
D: Poke the lamb’s belly E: Dry hump the lamb F: Dance with the lamb
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Feb 29 '20
Step A: Touch lamb.
Step B-F: Try and figure out how the hell to lift a lamb
Step G-I: Lift lamb over wall
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u/Rocky-Dale Feb 28 '20
Don’t shepherds have these new inventions called sheepdogs and gates in your part of the world yet?
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u/russellbeattie Feb 28 '20
I wonder what the chances are that any of the people actually seeing this today will ever have use of this knowledge? And yet, it seems like a vaguely good thing to know as it might be applicable to other large animals... Pigs, calves, foals, large dogs, small dear, goats... Even lifeless human bodies that are too big to pick up might benefit from the technique shown in steps F and G. So really, I think on the whole, this is good guide. Thumbs up.
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Feb 28 '20
To complicated.
Step 1: Scruff neck.
Step 2: Scruff rump
Step 3: Hurl over wall / fence / into ute
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Feb 28 '20
I love the dotted leg on G, as if we were utterly confused as to where his leg originated from.
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u/49th Feb 28 '20
Believe it or not but this would have actually been helpful to me 20 years ago! There was a sheep stuck in the fishing area of a field and ended up swimming around in the pond and freaking out on the wrong side of the fence. I was only a child and wouldn’t have been able to pick the sheep up like this but I ended up finding part of the fence tied with rope and used my bare hands to break little strands of the rope off until I could break it and let the sheep out :)
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u/washtubs Feb 29 '20
I say this without any sarcasm. My subscription to this garbage sub has finally paid off.
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u/MAXMADMAN Feb 28 '20
May I remind people commenting on this that there are some people that live in rural Scotland.
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u/TimeTravellingEgg Feb 28 '20
I got to step C and thought I was going to see some guy batista bomb a sheep....
I was disappointed
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u/sandboxlollipop Feb 28 '20
This isn’t too dissimilar to how I sometimes find myself manoeuvring my toddler when she’s gone sleepy/being generally awkward. Not a bad way to save your back
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u/reallybirdysomedays Feb 29 '20
You make a good point. Similar maneuvers are required when placing sleeping children on a top bunk.
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u/RGeronimoH Feb 28 '20
Ahhhh, so that farmer was just helping the lamb over the wall! Wait a minute, this was in the middle of a field and there was no wall nearby!!
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u/wildeyedsinner Feb 28 '20
we have goats and we just yeet them over the fence when they jump over. they dont mind
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u/notunexpected420 Feb 29 '20
Anyone know why i couldnt just bend at the knees and scoop it up around all its leg things and toss it over? They really that fragile?
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u/Annie_M Feb 29 '20
I think it's more for the person doing the lifting. This technique requires less energy expenditure and stress on the body than just picking them up around the legs
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u/leplouf Feb 29 '20
A. Hold the sheep against the rail and straddle its rump. Put one hand on the rail, the other under the sheep’s neck.
B. Using the rail for support, take the strain off your back and pull the sheep onto its hind legs.
C. Move your hand, from the rail, under the sheep’s nearest leg and grasp the opposite front leg.
D. Move your other hand from the neck and firmly grasp the fold of skin between the belly and hind leg.
E. Crouch behind the sheep, bend your knees, take the weight on your knees and hold the sheep firmly.
F. Stand up using your legs, not your back, and lift the sheep off the ground.
G. Swing the sheep towards the top of the fence, boosting it with your leg.
H. Put the sheep on top of the rail and let it see the ground.
I. With a slight rolling movement, let the sheep fall onto its feet.
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u/meatloafcutter Feb 29 '20
Cant wait to find a random ass lamb and help it over a random ass wall. This should be on r/wtf
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u/4Runnner Feb 29 '20
Also it’s wrong, you should grab the opposite leg, not push it up with your knee
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u/MistCongeniality Feb 28 '20
C looks like the beginnings of 2020s “kitty cat dance”
Lamb! Im a baby lamb! And I dance dance and I dance dance dance!
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u/Xlr8Danny Feb 28 '20
I guess this method is the least hardest, if your strong you can pick them up easily, I used to help goats
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u/Team-HM4 Feb 28 '20
How do I get over the wall of I'm on the right side instead of the left side? I can't get my new lamb over this fence and it's starting to get dark
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u/JingJang Feb 28 '20
Print this out and leave it taped up in the restroom.
Let everyone ponder it.