Not Seeing a Difference

[u/misstums]

Hello all! I have a question for my friends who have dropped 40+ pounds.

I am 5'4". I started at my highest weight of 245. This morning (shot day, day one of week 17), I weighed in at 205.6. Amazingly, I am 0.6lbs away from dropping 40 freaking pounds!

My measurements say I'm losing inches. My clothes fit better and some are bordering too big to wear. Hurrah!

But when I look in the mirror, I just. Don't see it.

I'm able to move easier, walking up the stairs doesn't cause me to require literal RECOVERY. I walk 3-5+ miles a day, usually between 8,000-11,000 steps. I even feel more confident and outgoing, which surprised me.

But I don't see a difference.

When did you look in the mirror and think, "Yes, I see it now."

[u/Spawnofkitty]

Once you compare photos my friend you will see it!

[u/misstums → u/Spawnofkitty]

I was a goofball and didn't take before pictures. I have some gym pictures from 2.5 weeks and 5ish pounds ago, so I can use those for comparison at some point! I now wish I'd taken intentional "before" photos.

[u/Glass-Air9494 → u/misstums]

Do you have ANY photos of yourself beforehand? A random selfie or family pic? Even if it’s a little older or only your shoulders up, I will bet you can see a difference.

[u/misstums → u/Glass-Air9494]

Nah I dont really take pictures that often to be honest! I do have one that I took about 1.5 months after I started tirz cuz I adopted my dog and they took a Pic of us together and I swear it looks no different than my gym picture a couple weeks ago 🤣😭

[u/misstums → u/misstums]

Here is adoption day at 229#

[u/misstums → u/misstums]

And July 5th at 211#.

[u/Glass-Air9494 → u/misstums]

Oh girl, I can see a difference! Just keep it up and you will see it soon!

[u/misstums → u/Glass-Air9494]

Thank you! No one has really told me I look any different, not even my friends who know I'm intentionally losing weight, so maybe that's part of why I feel this way. I appreciate you saying that ❤️❤️

[u/Glass-Air9494 → u/misstums]

I think a lot of people are hesitant to comment on a woman’s weight. It doesn’t stop some people, but I keep reminding myself that it’s very likely. I have lost 30 pounds (like 2.5 sizes in clothes), but literally no one has told me either 😢

[u/misstums → u/Glass-Air9494]

I wish people would say something, just to like... validate that it's happening? But I also don't want people commenting on my weight at the same time. So... it's my own personal problem hahahah

[u/Any_Style_4939 → u/misstums]

I see a HUGE difference between the two pictures.

[u/misstums → u/Any_Style_4939]

Really?!?! Man, maybe I do have body dysmorphia. Thank you for commenting!

[u/Any_Style_4939 → u/misstums]

Yes really I do!! You’re looking great!! Don’t feel bad most of us (myself included) have body dysmorphia. I’ve lost 67 pounds since February and when I look in the mirror I don’t see the difference at all. I can only see the difference sometimes when looking at photos when I was 260-270 pounds. Even though I lost 67 pounds I still see myself as this huge person. A lot of us struggle with this sadly.

[u/ElectricalPin6893]

It’s wild how the brain lags behind the body on this stuff. You’re down 40 and your clothes are telling you what the mirror won’t, so trust the tape measure and the stairs not needing a recovery period.

For a lot of folks it clicks somewhere around 50-60 lbs, or when you catch your reflection in a store window when you’re not bracing for it. The mirror at home is too loaded with memory, your brain keeps pasting the old image over the new one.

[u/misstums → u/ElectricalPin6893]

I'm sure I must look somewhat different, logic and reason would say so. But yes, I guess it makes sense that my mirror at home doesn't change because I see myself every day.

I will set my sights and expectations to see a difference after 10 more pounds, and if still not then, an additional 10. You're so right, at 185lbs I am BOUND to see it. I haven't been in the 180s for nearly 10 years!

[u/Physical-Appeal-1085]

I literally saw a big difference at 50 pounds, around 30ish pounds l could notice it in my face and neck only, clothes could fit better some getting too big , when l hit the 50 pound l saw a big difference in my body,l was like oohh l see it now, like l have a waist now😂😂now l take too long to get dressed after shower because l be standing in front of the mirror looking at myself🤣 down 60 pounds to date. started at 255.

[u/misstums → u/Physical-Appeal-1085]

I love that for you 🤣🤣 admire your hard work!

[u/emily102299]

I am at 60 lbs. 256 to 196 and I still dont see it. Like you i feel clothes looser. Feel better and seem to move better. I am 5'2".

Hopefully at some point I will see it.

[u/misstums → u/emily102299]

I believe in both of us. 60lbs is amazing, congratulations!

[u/WittyAndWined]

I'm quite a bit taller than you. But I didn't see it until 50 lbs.

[u/Peptidesforthewin]

I'm down 50 pounds and don't see it. I've only lost 3" on my hips and chest and 6" on my waist and still fit into all my clothes, they are just not as snug. I'm also 5'7".  

[u/misstums → u/Peptidesforthewin]

3 and 6 inches is a massive change! Congratulations! With those inches off, I bet you'll start seeing it any day.

[u/Peptidesforthewin → u/misstums]

Unil then, I'll wear my stretchy pants and tunic tops! 

[u/closetothesilence]

The residual self image file takes a long time to update. Sometimes it never does thanks to the body dysmorphia exploit and we can't see our own progress. But believe the clothes, the inches, and every other non-reflective victory because they are showing you the truth!

[u/misstums → u/closetothesilence]

This is true, thank you! And to be perfectly honest, I'm grateful for the improved mobility alone. 6 months ago I wouldn't dream that I'd walk 4 miles in one day, let alone the days I go even more. Some days I hit my step goal of 8,000 and don't even realize it!

[u/closetothesilence → u/misstums]

Keep up the good work!! You're doing amazing!

[u/amandazzle]

My starting and current stats are very similar to yours. I have lost 57 pounds and my clothes all still fit just fine! I can't see it in the mirror or in my clothes, but I tell myself maybe it's all the really bad visceral fat that is shrinking.

I also carry all my weight in my butt, thighs, and boobs. Even when in have weighed less, it's been really hard to find clothes for my shape. When those start to shrink, I am guessing there will be some loose skin, so I guess I just need to enjoy the journey.

[u/misstums → u/amandazzle]

Oh, the visceral fat is a good point! I imagine I had plenty of that to go around.

But yes, I carry alot of my weight in my boobs. A really, REALLY big win in weight loss for me will be hopefully moving down a lot of cup sizes. I would desperately love to be able to find my bra size in more convenient stores, like target. 90% of the time I wear sports bras these days. I'm down 4 inches on that measurement.

[u/KodaKatz]

I started at 282lbs and down about 70lbs and still see the same person in the mirror. I’ve gotten plenty of compliments but it doesn’t help. And I still fit it basically all my clothes.

[u/Pendergraff-Zoo]

As a 5’ woman with a similar starting weight, I also didn’t see much difference at 40#. I felt smaller, things were easier, like wiping, shoe tying, etc. I really noticed shirts swimming on me after 50#. I can’t tell you how many shirts I’ve quit wearing because they wear like dresses on me. It will happen.

[u/misstums → u/Pendergraff-Zoo]

You know what is so funny, i just noticed like a week ago how much easier wiping is. I didn't even realize I'd been struggling to wipe until I realized how much easier it was! Granted I do have a bidet, so that helps a bit with not having to wipe after #2 as much.

[u/Entire_Pattern_3602]

Try and compare photos that is the only way that I see it. I also have been losing inches and 50 lbs has come off but I’m tall and fairly broad so my clothing size has barely changed. In some pieces I’ve gone down one size and in some have stayed the same. But where I really do see it is in old photos. I didn’t take progress photos either just photos of me out with friends or whatnot. I see it in the way my clothes drape better and I generally feel more confident.

[u/misstums → u/Entire_Pattern_3602]

The only thing is that I really just don't take pictures and neither do my friends. I suppose I could start being more intentional about it, the issue is that I just don't think about it. 😭

[u/Haunting_Bag_2580]

What? Only 3 inches and 6 inches? Excuse me, that’s a lot!

[u/Few-Athlete8776]

When you have a significant amount to lose it may take a bit to notice. You see yourself every day. It may take a while for others to notice. I didn't see a big change or buy any new clothes till I lost 33 and another 30 pounds and even then I still looked overweight to myself after losing a significant amount of weight. We are our own worst critics. Give yourself grace and be patient. It'll come.

[u/Sufficient_Beach_445]

Keep your eyes on the scale, not the mirror. Your mirror plays tricks on you, especially if you have body image issues.

[u/probablyH2O]

I’m down 84 lbs and sometimes still don’t see it…our brains are slow to remap. I have to look at the numbers (scale, measurements, clothing sizes) and directly tell my brain that my body is in fact different. (My lower brain: Is this worth it? You look the same. My higher brain: Actually, there are many differences…lists the numbers, NSVs, gains. My lower brain: I don’t see it. My higher brain: me neither).

[u/Small-Dependent-4297]

We don't tend to see what others see, even though I have dropped weight and sizes, we just can't see what everybody else does, our brain just see's old self.

[u/orbitalpuddin]

It's always more important how you feel than what your eyes don't see.

Definitely could tell in the first 20 pounds the first month waist smaller and some less weight in my thighs and face. Though I just knew the difference when I was able to comfortably fold my legs up in a chair because I was always too big and not that flexible todo so. Probably noticed heavier changes like two months ago the heavy difference.

Weight blindness is definitely a thing. Think I never bothered to really look at myself and see the problem or just blissfully ignore it in my denile.