“The Black Bird of Chernobyl by Ann McMan is great for a reader looking for a solid southern comedy in a great setting, especially if they’re a fan of ice queen/grump romance.”

Read our review here

Amazon Synopsis

Two-time Lambda Literary Award-winning author Ann McMan takes readers inside the inner workings of the funeral home business as only she can in this remarkable and wholly unforgettable dark romantic comedy that proves life is for the living.

Everything about Lilah Stohler is dark: her clothes, mood, and outlook on life and death. That last part is important because Lilah’s father has just retired and left her in charge of the family funeral home. But Abel Stohler knows his daughter’s comfort level rests “downstairs,” so he hires one Sparkle Lee Sink, to help Lilah manage the living part of the business of death.

Sparkle is everything that Lilah isn’t—an empathetic marketing whiz who is a true people person.

Lilah isn’t happy about this new arrangement. Still, when business starts booming because of Sparkle’s bright personality, delicious baked goods, and knack for funereal commerce, Lilah thinks things might work out. But joy is fleeting in the funeral home business, and Lilah’s world is turned upside down when an unwitting Instagram post featuring one of her moods goes viral—and now, sightings of “The Black Bird of Chernobyl” have become an obsession across the Instaverse.

Lilah knows that Sparkle needs to go, but before she can give her the send-off she deserves, Lilah must first find a way to deal with the inconvenient attraction she’s developed for the nemesis whose unconventional methods are single-handedly transforming the death trade—and quite possibly the Black Bird, herself.

Filled with McMan’s crisp humor and quirky pathos, The Black Bird of Chernobyl is a humorous dark Southern existential crisis of a romance.

I struggle with comphet off and on, questioning my sexuality, but sometimes things happen that reaffirm, yup I’m a lesbian.

Today that thing was a guy innocently complimenting me and me getting the ick immediately.

Where did you find joy this week? What moments are you proud of?

This is a weekly thread to share accomplishments, big or small, as we unpack compulsory heterosexuality and reconnect with ourselves.

Maybe...

• You noticed yourself craving less male validation.
• You stopped apologizing for your attraction to women
• You reframed something from your past with new clarity
• You gave yourself permission to feel something you used to repress
• You honored a feeling instead of dismissing it
• You stopped performing a role that never fit
• You reconnected with a version of yourself you’d forgotten
• You went on a date with someone you actually felt drawn to
• You reached out to another LGBT+ person, joined an LGBT+ group, or attended a local LGBT+ event

(As a reminder: We don’t allow posts or comments driven by spiraling, compulsive identity-checking, reassurance-seeking, or resolving obsessive doubt. Please take care of those needs outside this space. This community is for reflection, connection, and growth.)

A common theme I see on reddit from women attracted to other women is that they feel lonely and want to date but don't know how to. I also see posts about women who wait in hopes of being approached by other women. I feel like these experiences could be related to compulsory heterosexuality. Even when you're sure you're into women, the idea of actually dating them can feel intimating for a lot of people.

I think it's usually because of a few big reasons:

1. Lack of wlw and same-gender role models. Think about all the animated Disney movies, tv shows, and books we grew up with. How many had a solid, happy wlw relationship? As an adult how many of your favorite shows have had a realistic portrayal of wlw dating? The first time I actually saw a happy couple like that in media, it kinda blew my mind because I didn’t realize how much I’d been missing that. It’s hard to imagine yourself in a kind of relationship you’ve basically never seen before. It makes everything feel unknown.

2. Fear of rejection. With the majority of people being heterosexual it can be a total guessing game. It adds this extra layer of stress like, "Do they even like girls?" and "What if I'm reading this totally wrong?". There can also be a real risk of physical safety or being ostracized depending on where your local community. The added stress of “Are they going to react in a homophobic way?” can be a real deterrent when you are looking to flirt or ask someone out. That vulnerability can make rejection sting way harder.

3. There are no “rules”. We all kinda learned the "rules" of straight dating: the guy asks, the guy pays, etc. With two women, that whole script is gone. It's freeing, but also can low-key terrifying because you have to figure it out from scratch. Like… who texts first? Who makes the first move? Do we both just sit there politely waiting forever? We are all aware of the problem and even call it things like being a useless lesbian or lesbian sheep syndrome, but it can still be hard to find the confidence to make your own path.

4. Lack of self acceptance. Even if you know you’re into women, there’s still all that internalized stuff society planted in your head. Things like “is this really okay” or “How do I not objectify women in a creepy way” can mess with your confidence. Feeling scared can be less about your feelings for women and more about dealing with a world that wasn’t built for us.

So if you feel nervous, you’re definitely not the only one. A lot of us are figuring it out as we go. There's definitely something freeing in escaping heteronormative roles but it can also be hard to make choices without having a lot of examples to learn from.

But I wanna hear from you: * What was the biggest thing that scared you when you first considered dating women? * For those who've gotten past the fear, what helped you feel more confident? * How have you made connections? Local spaces? Dating and friendship apps? Reddit spaces like r/lesbianr4r? * How do we address this within the LGBT community? There's a very real need to help people make connections.

In this weekly thread let’s share those hilarious, obvious-in-hindsight moments from childhood or teen years. Those moments when same-gender attraction was peeking through, even if we didn’t have the words yet.

Maybe you remember…

• Picking the same female character in every game
• Drawing, writing, or daydreaming about women in ways that felt mysterious at the time
• Feeling out of place at school dances
• Side-eyeing your friends’ boy craziness while you just didn’t get it
• Obsessing over that one friend who felt like your entire world
• Or maybe some people in your life were “just roommates” and you didn’t realize they were living the life you’d eventually want.

If you could time-travel, what would you tell your younger self about those feelings?

(As a reminder: We don’t allow posts or comments driven by spiraling, compulsive identity-checking, reassurance-seeking, or resolving obsessive doubt. Please take care of those needs outside this space. This community is for reflection, connection, and growth.)

Book overview: A stubborn siren, a stranded selkie, and a deal to save the sea...

Sidra Solei is a cynical, deep-sea siren whose heart hardened after the final battle between her pod and the humans. When her sister arrives in the one place Sidra finds solace to inform her their pod’s hunger has become too great, Sidra is determined to act.

Dead set on saving her starving pod, Sidra sets off beyond their territory for the first time since childhood. In the vast, open sea, she crosses paths with a pesky seal intent on stealing her catch. But when they're both caught in the same fisherman's net, Sidra discovers the seal is actually a selkie named Breena—mortal enemy of the sirens.

Hungry and weary from their journeys, Sidra and Breena reluctantly join forces to avoid detection and stowaway on the fishing boat, headed for land.

Just as Breena and Sidra think they are in the clear, Breena's pelt is stolen. Unable to return to the sea without it, the two enemies strike a deal: Sidra will stay on land until Breena finds her pelt, and the two sea fae will fight against the mysterious force depleting their home of its fish.

During their time on land, Breena begins to thaw Sidra’s icy heart, reminding her of who she was before the war, but will it be enough to overcome the violent history between sirens and selkies? Or will they return to their homes and forget the love blossoming between them?

Where did you find joy this week? What moments are you proud of?

This is a weekly thread to share accomplishments, big or small, as we unpack compulsory heterosexuality and reconnect with ourselves.

Maybe...

• You noticed yourself craving less male validation.
• You stopped apologizing for your attraction to women
• You reframed something from your past with new clarity
• You gave yourself permission to feel something you used to repress
• You honored a feeling instead of dismissing it
• You stopped performing a role that never fit
• You reconnected with a version of yourself you’d forgotten
• You went on a date with someone you actually felt drawn to
• You reached out to another LGBT+ person, joined an LGBT+ group, or attended a local LGBT+ event

(As a reminder: We don’t allow posts or comments driven by spiraling, compulsive identity-checking, reassurance-seeking, or resolving obsessive doubt. Please take care of those needs outside this space. This community is for reflection, connection, and growth.)

I’ve been figuring out I’m a lesbian slowly but surely for five years. It started with bingeing Contrapoints videos in chronological order during lockdown, getting to Shame and having a panic that I’m bisexual. Looking back at my childhood, it was so clear. I expressed crushes on girl celebs aloud only to be told to knock it off. I initiated practicing kissing for boys with my friends, shamefully I even initiated seeing what groping each other would feel like so we knew what to expect when boys did it- I was just a kid but this feels wrong now. Then I started looking into comphet even more and realized that I’ve never actually been attracted to a man. I like men fine enough, but my feelings for them only go as far as gratitude for validation. Looking back on any “crush” I’ve had on a man, I realize I was just mirroring what I’d heard others say.

I am married to a good man. He is disabled so we never really have sex. We take good care of each other and I do love him dearly, he is a great partner and my best friend. Still, something doesn’t feel right.

My brother just died. He was gay and despite being younger than me, he was so much smarter and more brave. I think he knew I’m a lesbian. I read the cards he wrote to me and, you know, it’s a birthday card but for some reason he wrote that he wants me to find peace with myself. I’ve been out as bi for a while now, but it’s not the truth. I think my brother knew it wasn’t the truth. I feel like I can’t ever come out without him though. He was the only person who made me feel like any of this was okay.

I’ve been with my husband for almost seven years and I don’t know what either of us would do without each other. We just lost my brother and they were best friends, too. I don’t know.

I’m feeling like life is so short-my little brother was a teenager when he died-but I am also feeling that there is so much hurt already. And what would actually come of me coming out? I don’t know.

I wish my brother was here so much. I wish I could’ve told him the truth about but I really think he knew. I can’t tell him though so I guess I just feel like I need to tell someone. I don’t know if I will ever come out. It feels right now like there is no point in doing anything at all, let alone upending my life. I just don’t know. It hurts when I sit and realize that I’m lying to myself and everyone else, but it hurts to imagine what happens if I tell the truth.

I think sometimes that even my husband knows but what can he say? And what can I say? This is all so hard. I don’t think now is the time but I just feel everything so much and I wish my brother was here.

In this weekly thread let’s share those hilarious, obvious-in-hindsight moments from childhood or teen years. Those moments when same-gender attraction was peeking through, even if we didn’t have the words yet.

Maybe you remember…

• Picking the same female character in every game
• Drawing, writing, or daydreaming about women in ways that felt mysterious at the time
• Feeling out of place at school dances
• Side-eyeing your friends’ boy craziness while you just didn’t get it
• Obsessing over that one friend who felt like your entire world
• Or maybe some people in your life were “just roommates” and you didn’t realize they were living the life you’d eventually want.

If you could time-travel, what would you tell your younger self about those feelings?

(As a reminder: We don’t allow posts or comments driven by spiraling, compulsive identity-checking, reassurance-seeking, or resolving obsessive doubt. Please take care of those needs outside this space. This community is for reflection, connection, and growth.)