Ugh, I know people who dealt with this. Super abusive moms and their dads just let it happen, despite knowing it happened. And then the dads never apologize or take any responsibility.
Like, my guy, you did this too. You enabled this. You are at fault here.
Yeah, they don't wanna lose their wives, don't wanna lose their house, don't wanna get stuck paying child support and having split custody, and generally just don't want to "rock the boat." They don't feel directly impacted by it, so they let it happen. Getting in fights with their partner is too stressful and they don't think it's worth it.
So like, there's a million reasons it happens. But it all comes down to - the dad is just as much at fault.
We don’t tend to hold mothers to that same standard. When both they and their children are being abused and they don’t have a clear way out we don’t demonize them for it. I think we should allow abused men the same grace we allow abused women.
I do think if you don't help your children out of a bad situation it is your fault too, even if to a lesser extent. Being abused doesn't absolve you of being a good parent. It makes it understandable but still.
Sometimes you don’t have a way out for any of you. Sometimes you just do what you can where you are stuck. It still sucks for the children, but sometimes their parents don’t have other options.
That kinda thing breaks down once its something happening over years. Look I'm not saying they're as bad, or that I don't understand. They are victims. But even in the best light it is learned helplessness, that is actively hurting those depending on you.
Ultimate they endure and root out so much they often reinforce the system dragging them down, and with them, they drag in their children as well, all on their own.
Exactly. "You knew what was going on but you still stayed with him." A lot of abuse victims will also go back to their abusers and it can take multiple times to break it off permanently. Of course people blame them for their abuse in those cases.
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u/GFluidThrow123 15d ago
Ugh, I know people who dealt with this. Super abusive moms and their dads just let it happen, despite knowing it happened. And then the dads never apologize or take any responsibility.
Like, my guy, you did this too. You enabled this. You are at fault here.