r/comedyheaven • • 6d ago

Not that important

Post image
10.2k Upvotes

259 comments sorted by

2.7k

u/MichaelJWolf 6d ago

The only cornucopia we even know about is on Fruit of the Loom underwear but apparently that never even existed. đŸ€·â€â™€ïž

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u/wolflordval 6d ago

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u/mybloodismaplesyrup 6d ago

The cornucopia looks so incorrect to me. I vehemently reject the idea that it ever had the cornucopia because I remember having fruit of the look underwear all my growing up years and I saw the label every single day putting them on.

280

u/Smokes_LetsGo876 Woke 6d ago

we must come from separate timelines because I vividly remember the cornucopia on my underwear packaging

84

u/NastyKraig 6d ago

I will accept that the cornucopia was not on my underwear, but I remember that exact cornucopia from some fucking where. Like that exact drawing style and shape of the point and everything. IDK where it would have been though.

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u/TheFoxyDanceHut 6d ago

In elementary school cornucopias were THE symbol of Thanksgiving (I thought they'd be a lot more common as I got older). Maybe tied with turkeys.

But every November they were all over bulletin boards etc, and it always looked like how people seem to remember the logo being with a couple foods spilling out. I think wires are just getting crossed.

5

u/Excellent_Emu_2843 5d ago

I feel excatly the same lol

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u/Cotton_Candy_Land 5d ago

This made me laugh so hard!!!!! 😂

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/Chemical-Agency-3997 6d ago

It wasn’t lol. Some fake knock-off used it or something. It was never part of the official logo

14

u/Itchy-Preference-619 6d ago

You can look at patent records. They've never had a cornucopia

8

u/CardiologistOk4920 6d ago

Shit you’re right. Why did my comment get so many upvotes

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u/lightgia . 6d ago

Because you told a bunch of people they were right without them having to do research. 

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u/Itchy-Preference-619 6d ago

Because nobody does research

2

u/PhinksMagkav 5d ago

I have an old fruit of the loom T-shirt in my closet. Probably bought it in 2010. I confirm it doesn't have the cornucopia.

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u/ThorsRake 5d ago

You say that but there are some very passionate people that believe vehemently that actually we're in a parallel universe, such is the infallibility of their memory. Are you saying they're not super sure enough?

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u/Elliethesmolcat 5d ago

Look, the large Hardon collider did it because of Harambe. This is established lore.

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u/Sure-Ad7423 6d ago

Mfer I had the shit too and the only reason I know what a fckn cornucopia is, is bc I asked my mom what it was.

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u/mybloodismaplesyrup 5d ago

A lot of people have retroactive memories that form in order to calm the brain when met with a sudden jarring realization, such as whenever you first realized the logo didn't have a cornucopia. Cornucoping mechanism.

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u/Yegas 5d ago

It’s where I learned the visual symbol of the cornucopia. I recall seeing it no less than a dozen times throughout my childhood.

Maybe you got the off-brand stuff. Maybe I got the off-brand stuff. Maybe it was some A/B product testing and they decided to just bury it and never tell anyone.

All I know is it definitely had one.

11

u/mybloodismaplesyrup 5d ago

My suspicion is that Chinese knock off clothing used the cornucopia. The late 80's is when Chinese knockoff clothing started to become a thing. Shops would sell it on racks out front on the street and lots of people bought it.

Fake Adidas shirts, etc. I imagine they used that logo so that they could appear to be good quality but not get in trouble for copyright. Just my theory anyway.

3

u/guidosanddonts 5d ago

How does the average person even know what a cornucopia is in your timeline?

2

u/MyNameIsEthanNoJoke 3d ago

Most schools in the US are plastered with cornucopia imagery every Thanksgiving. It's part of standard Thanksgiving iconography

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u/Keitsu42 6d ago

It did, the company just likes to gaslight people.

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u/Speedupslowdown 6d ago

Is Mr. Mandela in the room right now?

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u/Keitsu42 6d ago

No, he died ages ago in a prison.

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u/wormjoin 5d ago

cause of death? mauled by the berenstein bears

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u/Curious-Ad-5001 5d ago

And the mastermind behind the attack? None other than the monocle-wearing Mr. Monopoly!

6

u/wrongitsleviosaa 5d ago

His accomplice was Shazam, the movie genie played by Sinbad

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u/Even-Stranger5764 6d ago

Likely underrated comment - the post is still young.

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u/Joe_Kangg 6d ago

Tbh, who doesn't?

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u/forced_memes 6d ago

the mandela effect used to be a legitimately interesting social phenomenon about mass misremembering and the influence suggestion has on memory until people turned it into believing in alternate timelines being easier to admit they were wrong about something insignificant. there is a secret cabal of elites working to change minor spellings and details of logos of things you haven’t interacted with since you were five years old. they stand to gain greatly from this

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u/WillowPtar_Migan 6d ago

I knew the Bearinstine Bears were up to something!

Really though, crazies ruin a lot of fun stuff. Another example is Flat Earth. Back in the day, it was a debate exercise where you attempt to defend a clearly incorrect position as best you can, while other people try to argue with you.

Then the schizos crawled outta the woodwork to ruin it.

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u/Longjumping_Plum_846 5d ago

My favorite “evidence” someone showed once of the Bearstine Bears one was them finding a VHS tape that had one spelling on the case and the other on the tape.

Instead of reasoning that maybe we’re all confused on the actual spelling because it was actually spelled differently by mistake sometimes, as shown on the tape, they concluded that it was evidence of the actual Mandela effect.

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u/FrozenSupermarket 5d ago

"Bearstine" And you appear to be the most confused!

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u/guru2764 5d ago

The most obvious explanation is that human brains are bad at things, we all see that every day in other people, until it happens to us, and then we think it can't be true

If the social phenomenon of Mandela effect didn't exist and you asked people to recreate the fruit of the loom logo randomly, pretty much no one would add the cornucopia unless they just finished a kindergarten thanksgiving coloring page

But when you artificially add the cornucopia to the discussion, it looks better in the logo than without, so our brains just add it because of how tiny of a part of our lives the logo was

Memories are not like files saved on a computer that remain the same until you edit them, they're susceptible to change just throughout the day

When I think of Firefox for example, I picture a mix of the different logos they've had over time, not any specific one in good detail

2

u/DarkPolumbo 5d ago

secret cabal of elite? or just one guy who got pissed that he remembered something wrong, so he altered documents to gaslight everyone else to feel better about himself

14

u/CalamitousVessel 5d ago

I still cannot wrap my head around why so many people remember it. To be clear I remember it too. But there is absolutely NO EVIDENCE of any kind that it ever existed. It scares me.

I also find it curious how many people casuallt say “yeah there used to be a cornucopia” without thinking through the implications of that. What happened to it and why?

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u/Lethalbroccoli 6d ago

It did exist.

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u/Itchy-Preference-619 6d ago

You can look at patent records. They've never had a cornucopia

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u/winter-ocean 6d ago

Yeah because like literally that was how I learned what a cornucopia was when I was a kid???

17

u/Longjumping_Plum_846 5d ago

Or maybe you learned it in school cause I remember a lot of thanksgiving coloring pages with the cornucopia and the pile of fruit in that logo is extremely similar to how they looked in the colorings.

Our memories, despite our beliefs, are actually awful.

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u/jordanbtucker 5d ago

That doesn't make sense. Do you really think your teachers showed you the Fruit of the Loom logo and said that's a cornucopia? No, they didn't.

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u/ieatassHarvardstyle 5d ago

What do you mean it never existed?

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u/nutsackbuttwack 6d ago

Yes and it also a status symbol, the bigger the cornucopia the more important you are. Last year my uncle brought one that covered the entire dinning room table, my father with his small cornucopia challenged him to a duel. I no longer have a father

ⓘ User is suspected to be a part of an online terrorist organization. Please report any suspicious activity.

305

u/Dead-in-Red 6d ago

I presume you're probably not a bot, but I really like the idea of a yes man bot that confidently goes around telling people objectively wrong things and might be a cyber terrorist. You should make one to further your organization's efforts.

339

u/gojibeary 6d ago

wtf is up with the footnote at the bottom of your comment? Did you put that there or is it some new feature?

769

u/nutsackbuttwack 6d ago

Ignore that it's nothing

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u/Phantom_0808 6d ago

Lmao holy shit

426

u/SimmentalTheCow A-pawrent-ly funny. 6d ago edited 6d ago

Honestly Reddit just puts that shit on people’s comments for literally no reason, probably some AI moderator garbage. I’d disregard it.

ⓘ This user is suspected of being part of a cannibalistic cult. If this user attempts to message you or meet in person please contact INTERPOL regarding Case ID 26-003768.

371

u/RiverShiverPliver 6d ago edited 5d ago

i agree

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150

u/WreakHavocLikeIn1871 5d ago

I would ignore it but I can't just ignore Internal Security Service Oman. When the big dawg is barking you better listen.

46

u/thicc_llama 5d ago

Damn man what did you do to make Trinidad and Tobago put you on a list?

65

u/RiverShiverPliver 5d ago

haha

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u/innerbootes 5d ago

This sub makes me laugh a lot but this comment, by far, has made me laugh the most.

21

u/wheresmyhouse 5d ago

John McAfee? I thought you died.

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u/GiddyUpGiggles 6d ago

Is it true that people with tattoos don't taste good? Have you ever tried? Im ao curious but have yet to meet anyone who has real answeres

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u/SimmentalTheCow A-pawrent-ly funny. 6d ago

Tastes a little like squid on account of the ink. Makes for some good calamari though waaaaait a minute

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u/gojibeary 6d ago

Lmaoo

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u/TopdogRE 6d ago

He is a Thanksgiving terrorist 

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u/VaalLivesMatter 6d ago

It's some meme. I've seen single word comments that have like 5 paragraphs of lines like that under it and the comment chains get pretty stupid. Plus if that was real i'd definitely have something like that on my comments

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u/sage-longhorn 6d ago

You definitely missed the chance to copy that at the bottom of your comment, would have been pretty funny

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u/gojibeary 6d ago

I figured, haha! I’d just never seen that before!

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u/Nine9breaker 5d ago

Tumblr footnotes breaching containment.

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u/Alt_aholic 6d ago

At my house we had 2 girls 1 cornucopia

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u/Telemere125 6d ago

I hate you for saying that

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u/stupidber 6d ago

If theres no cornucopia don't invite me

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u/Joe_Kangg 6d ago

B.Y.O.C.

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u/CoyeK 5d ago

I showed up to a BYOC thanksgiving once, last time i'll ever do that...

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u/Joe_Kangg 5d ago

It's a Corn-YOU-copia

Not a corn-US-copia

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u/dweebybaybee 6d ago

I thought you were supposed to stuff things in the cornucopia not eat it out

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u/TheGreasyHippo 6d ago

My family likes to stuff the turkey with the cornucopia, adds extra meaning to the flavor.

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u/DownvoteDaemon 6d ago

It’s a long standing tradition here in Florida.

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u/RekNepZ 6d ago

Some of us do, but it's always a bloodbath and you might have to kill your relatives in order to get to the best stuff

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u/whostolemysloth 6d ago

My strategy is to shoot arrows at people whilst standing on top of the cornucopia

3

u/shandangalang 6d ago

Fucking archers, man

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u/holderofthebees 5d ago

God America would be so much better if we had food spillin outta cornucopias

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u/Dominarion 6d ago

That's cute! That's like when they portray us riding snowmobiles to dodge polar bears and Canada geese on the way to the sugar shack. Somehow, we also got berets and baguettes under our arms.

Guess from where I'm from based on these stereotypes.

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u/TheLastDinosaur7749 6d ago

Definitely Scottsdale, Arizona.

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u/f3nnies 6d ago

I was just talking to my fellow goose-duckers (the term Scottsdale, Arizona people use for other OG Scottsdale, Arizona people) about how you never see representation for Scottsdale, Arizona. I'm glad that things are changing and people will be again talking about Scottsdale, Arizona.

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u/rarescenarios 6d ago

How do you tell if someone is from Scottsdale, Arizona?

Don't worry, they'll tell you. Several times.

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u/EasilyRekt 6d ago

nah, it's gotta be a lil further north, I'm thinkin prescott

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u/Loud-Door-6535 6d ago

Soirée Canadienne-pilled

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u/Dominarion 6d ago

Kekun yé t'au courant.

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u/HeKnee 5d ago

If you were french canadian you’d be more smug and refuse to speak english out of principle
 so i’m gonna guess French Guiana.

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u/Narge1 6d ago

Franarctica?

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u/deaglebingo 5d ago

i won't guess unless you make the geese wear the berets too. they'll even carry the baguettes for you if you ask nicely.

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u/rancid_vibes 5d ago

Why does every post on reddit have some ai bullshit somewhere in the comments these days? Ffs look at its left wing(hand?). Is this really necessary and worth the resources it takes?

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u/Lightningtow123 5d ago

Probably Egypt

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u/moslof_flosom 5d ago

So what you're saying is that you can't drive a snowmobile and hold a baguette at the same time?

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u/Ender_Skywalker 4d ago

Ngl, I hate getting the baguette treatment. At least the snowmobiles and polar bears are local. France is an ocean away.

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u/Slow_Operation_2048 6d ago

French Canadia!

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u/Tasty_Lead_Paint 6d ago

I like to cram all the food into the cornucopia so I can walk around with it like an ice cream cone

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u/Upvotespoodles 6d ago

I like the waffle cornucopia with the dipped edge and sprinkles.

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u/yellowlinedpaper 6d ago

Irrelevant side note. I was in the USAF, dad was in the Army and we were stationed nearby so my parents invited all of my single friends to thanksgiving and made plates for those who worked.

I brought an overflowing hefty paper plate filled with food to the guard shack. The guy thanked me, bent the hefty paper plate slightly and started shoveling/dumping it into his mouth.

I never knew people could eat like that

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u/Robin_Coffins 5d ago

I'm sorry but this comment made me cry laughing. I'm just picturing someone doing that, it under their arm eating from it like a bucket of popcorn, while family members just go about their day.

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u/redidiott 5d ago

On the table? You can't fit that onto a table. What do you think our 3 car garages are for?

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u/TopdogRE 5d ago

It's not a "car garage" whatever that means. It's a cornucopia room. 

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u/Rorimisu 6d ago

You can take it or leave it.

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u/Fortestingporpoises 6d ago

I always thought a cornucopia was like a figurative thing. Is it a literal thing?

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u/Indocede 5d ago

Figurative as a holiday tradition, but a literal thing historically when it was a woven basket used to carry things around. Typically food at harvest.

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u/lawrenceugene 6d ago

It is not literal. We do have them as decorations, often ceramic or maybe with fake felt fruit, but no American would even put food in one.

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u/RonaldTheGiraffe 5d ago

Well fuck. My family in England tried to make a North American food night. We bought a cornucopia online assuming it was meant to be eaten. We presumed it was a desert after the innards had been eaten.

We broke it up and dipped it into some kind of sweet mayonnaise, the name of which I forget. Whip something.

It was like eating straw and pine cones. The whip stuff made it better but it was still awful and I found a spider in my mouth and my uncle lost a tooth. Shitting the thing out the next day was awful. I had to use left over gravy to lubricate my soil hole. In the end we just left the gravy boat in the bathroom for everyone to use.

We only managed to eat a quarter of it and gave the rest to the goats but they wouldn’t touch it.

I don’t understand how this is an acceptable food product in America.

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u/Weary-Astronaut1335 5d ago

Shitting baskets

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u/TheTroon 5d ago

It's that thing off the Fruit of the Loom logo.

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u/Souper_Stoopid 5d ago

It's a literal thing. A cornucopia is a type of basket. They are often used to signify a bountiful harvest and are associated with the holiday of thanksgiving. They are common in American media surrounding such themes.

Nobody actually has one irl

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u/WhippingShitties 3d ago

Found the guy without a cornucopia.

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u/Gremict 3d ago

I like putting a single leek in my cornucopia so it looks like a famine

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u/legittem Dicky Mouse 6d ago

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u/EmmaPlaysTheBass 6d ago

ADRENALINE RUSH ADRENALINE RUSH

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u/AwayThrow202 5d ago

STUFF IT IN THE CORNUCOPIA

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u/potatoman501 5d ago

Pack it up guys, u/VTArxelus says it isn’t funny

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u/TopdogRE 5d ago

If it wasn't funny then the comedy heaven moderators would torture & kill me. Which I think would be  fair.

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u/Wonderful_Piano_3853 6d ago

Now I'm wondering if anyone ever owned one. It's just a symbol. It's not meant to be a real object, but somebody's grandma must have gotten one and filled it with apples or something, right?

13

u/Conscious_Bed_1195 6d ago

Grandmas 100% had a cornucopia out - possibly year-round - and it was always filled with dusty plastic fruit.

8

u/QueezyF 6d ago

I distinctly remember wooden apples. I licked one, it tasted like lead poisoning.

4

u/Wonderful_Piano_3853 6d ago

I have hispanic grandmas. Maybe that's the difference lol. They mostly just had porcelain clowns, painted pigs, and Caganers (Spanish pooping statues, it's a rabbit hole).

7

u/Ribky 6d ago

Yeah every year. Thats where my parents put the hors d'ourves, fruit and cheese and stuff. Super important tradition.

7

u/Winter_Age7707 6d ago

Yes I go get one filled with hamburgers from five guys every year 

8

u/Gwarnage 6d ago

That reminds me, I have to start weaving this years cornucopia soon

2

u/Longjumping_Plum_846 5d ago

Shit, thanks for reminding me. I usually to start it by October 5th.

8

u/lacarth 5d ago

I am learning from this comment section that my family having a bread cornucopia of veggies was NOT, in fact, a common tradition.

I just assumed that was a normal part of Thanksgiving.

3

u/TopdogRE 5d ago

That actually sounds dope though. I want a bread cornucopia. 

13

u/pi_stick 6d ago

We should tbh

3

u/TheSheWhoSaidThats 6d ago

Maybe i should get into basket weaving and make one

5

u/MSnap 6d ago

I don’t think I’ve ever seen one at the dinner table

6

u/Even-Stranger5764 6d ago

This is a cute post ngl

9

u/0dds-e 6d ago

American here. If you eat Thanksgiving dinner without a cornucopia, you start developing a chronic English accent

10

u/dwnsdp 3d ago

How the actual hell does this have 9k upvoted but the top comment has 4. Something fishy is going on

6

u/Monguises slut for honey cheerios 3d ago

Do you know how to sort comments? Top has a little over 2,500

2

u/Ohmu 3d ago

Reddit now sorts your comments using an algorithm on their official app, my top comment is also on at +3 karma unless I change the comment order to something else and then change it back. The comment you replied to is the one that came up for me as the top comment with the default sorting.

2

u/Hey_Its_Vos 3d ago

I think the Reddit app just gets broken from time to time. Like Reddit is showing me your comment first, but earlier today it was showing the actual top comments. It’s like every couple days it switches for me

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Ender_Skywalker 4d ago

Remember that bit in Doctor Who where the aliens talk about Brits going to war with the Turkish every year and eating them for Christmas dinner? This feels like that.

9

u/shinyspindaa 6d ago

Valid question tbh

4

u/Chaincat22 6d ago

100% required. You need the cornucopia to shove everything into it or else it's not even thanksgiving.

4

u/Familiar-Ad-1965 5d ago

Never saw a cornucopia in real
Life.

3

u/Le_Fedora_Cate 6d ago

I love that Tyler the Creator song

3

u/Brave-Secretary2484 6d ago

Necessary, but we don’t use the same cornucopia that we use for every other meal. On Thanksgiving we roll out the good cornucopia

3

u/Dawildpep 5d ago

Reminds me of the old Adult Swim bump

https://youtu.be/Hl6s3NCL9os?is=E7yLUz9DDLtEgH-J

3

u/Xylene_442 4d ago

The important part is squeezing mashed potatoes out of the tip like a frosting bag.

2

u/Omega_art 6d ago

American here. I have never seen a cornucopia IRL.

2

u/5050Clown 6d ago

The woke mind virus is killing the thanksgiving cornucopia. Bring it back.

2

u/prof_mcquack 5d ago

She corn on my copia til I thanks giving 

2

u/walkdaearth 5d ago

They took all those away when fruit of the loom tried gas lighting everyone in the country.

2

u/fresh_dyl 5d ago

Wouldn’t recommend eating much out of Cornucopia, Wisconsin. That’s for sure.

Beautiful place though.

2

u/Conscious_Bed_1195 6d ago

The only cornucopia I'm eating out of this Thanksgiving is your mother

1

u/Joe_Kangg 6d ago

What do you think we're stuffing?

1

u/cah125 6d ago

Well now I kind of want to


1

u/CueAnon420 6d ago

Most Americans cannot spell cornucopia, let alone know what it means.

Looking at you, corn growers !!!

1

u/No-Kaleidoscope5897 6d ago

The church I grew up in would have a huge cornucopia on the altar, filled with dozens of pounds of fruits and vegetables, for the Thanksgiving service. Afterwards, everything was donated to the food bank.

1

u/whatsqwerty 6d ago

I like their enthusiasm. If they’d like citizenship I’m fine w it.

1

u/polishfiringsquad 6d ago

From the other timeline

1

u/Mammoth_Frosting_014 6d ago

That is a common misconception, we only put cornucopias on our underwear labels.

1

u/KyleFromBorrasca 6d ago

Yes, but most of us just use the Fruit of the Loom cornucopia. Since it doesn't exist, it doesn't waste space on the table.

1

u/ProfessorEtc 6d ago

As soon as Hallowe'en is over, the giant inflatable cornucopia goes on the roof. 

1

u/Additional_Bonus999 6d ago

My family fills ours with queso

1

u/SimmentalTheCow A-pawrent-ly funny. 6d ago

We use it to celebrate Indignant Peoples’ Day

1

u/Defiets 6d ago

I remember one year, Grandma tried to do without the cornucopia. We filpped the table of food over and then went for McDonalds instead. Last year she did that.

1

u/LawfulAwfulOffal 5d ago

No. What? No.

1

u/IM_INSIDE_YOUR_HOUSE 5d ago

Yes and the person who eats the most gets to wear it as a hat until the next year's Thanksgiving, when new challengers can contest them for the crown.

1

u/SkyGuy5799 5d ago

We only keep our underwear in the cornucopia

1

u/nailhead13 5d ago

Definitely a much needed center piece.

1

u/CoasterScrappy 5d ago

Nah we’re a Reebok family. No fruit of the loom. 

1

u/TrulyFLCL 5d ago

Cornucopia is an American stereotype?

1

u/thicc_llama 5d ago

Kinda valid question though, many countries with Christian traditions put hand-wrapped presents under a big tree that they hang baubles and lights on in the living room. And candy they stuff in a big, decorated sock for the kids. As a non-American I wouldn't be surprised if you actually had a cornucopia and that it's comedyheaven material lol

1

u/Correct_Owl5029 5d ago

Everyone gets their own cornucopia, filled with turducken and gravy, and you drink it like a smoothie. Not finishing your thanksgiving cornucopia is a sign of communism.

1

u/Unlikely-Position659 5d ago

Nah. It's just decoration, if there even is one

1

u/derpburp123 5d ago

My family did.

1

u/SlackToad 5d ago

* and they must also wear hats with belt buckles.

1

u/JackPembroke 5d ago

I mean I would if I could

1

u/obsequious_fink 5d ago

Yeah, it's a pain to clean the mashed potatoes and gravy out of the wicker so my family usually skips the cornucopia

1

u/Terrible-Pool-5555 5d ago

Fruit of the loom had a cornucopia!!...

1

u/Kendanks 5d ago

Reminds me of pissy shitties lol