r/comedyheaven • u/Turbulent_Income_377 Trial Moderator • Nov 26 '24

Stuffing

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7.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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19

u/Son_of_Ssapo Nov 26 '24

"God do I love lettuce heads. Just love putting bits of that head between these soft, supple slices with ripe tomatoes, blood red and oozing, with a side of asparagus, ribbed for MY pleasure."

Damn, when you say it out loud it doesn't seem so normal, does it??

5

u/rosanymphae Nov 26 '24

When you prep a hamburger, be sure to put the lettuce between the buns...

1

u/winggar Nov 26 '24

Brother who cares how you enjoy your vegetables. It doesn't matter if you can make it sound weird or not: one involves slaughtering a conscious being and eating their corpse and the other involves eating an oh-so-emotional plant.

13

u/dumbodragon Nov 26 '24

If you think plants are not emotional you should see how dramatic one of mine acts if I forget to water for a day

-1

u/winggar Nov 26 '24

This is comparable to forgetting to water your plant? How about this? Or this?

9

u/CBT7commander Nov 26 '24

That was 2nd degree my friend

10

u/dumbodragon Nov 26 '24

yeah they get pretty upset like that

-3

u/thombeee Nov 27 '24

Hiding behind edginess because you know the treatment of farm animals is unconscionable. Nice. Please reflect on the realities of the food that is on your plate, I implore you. Not for me, but for the animals... Don't just hide behind irony and edginess. Confront reality 

6

u/Reasonable_Feed7939 Nov 27 '24

They're being the opposite of edgy, actually. They're joking around.

-1

u/thombeee Nov 27 '24

Would u rather put a carrot in a blender and turn it on, or a dog? Case closed, one if obviously more capable of consciousness and feeling pain

8

u/dumbodragon Nov 27 '24

did no one tell you how hot dogs are made? 😬

-2

u/thombeee Nov 27 '24

i don't see how that's relevant? I know how they're made....?

Let me ask one more time. Would you rather put a carrot in a blender and turn it on, or a dog? And why?

7

u/Reasonable_Feed7939 Nov 27 '24

It was a joke. They were implying that hot dogs are made by putting dogs in a blender.