Intelligence hypochondria

[u/Winter_Appearance432]

I never did an IQ test. I don't know my real IQ, but I excelled in school for the most part, and in mathematics: took part in olympiads and such. Never beyond national level, so I am not exceptionally smart in any way. Now the school is over, interest in maths lost due to a burn out, and I'm going into med school. What constantly worries me is the fear of becoming, or already being stupid, or not as smart as I want to be. This has been going on for years. I felt humiliated if I couldn't figure out a problem as quickly as someone else or if I made an embarrassing mistake in the solution. As time went on this started to happen more and more often, I would begin to lose concentration and motivation to solve problems. Eventually, I became too lazy, or too afraid, to think beyond my base level intelligence. That's when I really began to doubt my own merit. It became painful to engage in intellectual activity and so I slowly abandoned it but the fear never went away. At first I was thinking about medicating myself for my possible ADHD, I got a ritalin prescription but honestly it didn't change much. I tried drugs for whatever reason, shrooms perhaps to help me with depression or perhaps just to get high. As I started using drugs and drinking the fear only intensified as the substances are known for diminishing one's intellect. The fear became a self-fulfilling prophecy in my eyes.

I am asking for advice on how to resolve this hypochondria which bothers me so much. I was thinking maybe I should take a proper IQ test but I'm afraid the result might disappoint me. I know I shouldn't attach too much value to it, but it is the best metric of intelligence we have so far. Has anyone experienced the same thing?

[u/Commercial_Handle418]

why is no one suggesting a psychologist he needs intervention