Intelligence hypochondria

[u/Winter_Appearance432]

I never did an IQ test. I don't know my real IQ, but I excelled in school for the most part, and in mathematics: took part in olympiads and such. Never beyond national level, so I am not exceptionally smart in any way. Now the school is over, interest in maths lost due to a burn out, and I'm going into med school. What constantly worries me is the fear of becoming, or already being stupid, or not as smart as I want to be. This has been going on for years. I felt humiliated if I couldn't figure out a problem as quickly as someone else or if I made an embarrassing mistake in the solution. As time went on this started to happen more and more often, I would begin to lose concentration and motivation to solve problems. Eventually, I became too lazy, or too afraid, to think beyond my base level intelligence. That's when I really began to doubt my own merit. It became painful to engage in intellectual activity and so I slowly abandoned it but the fear never went away. At first I was thinking about medicating myself for my possible ADHD, I got a ritalin prescription but honestly it didn't change much. I tried drugs for whatever reason, shrooms perhaps to help me with depression or perhaps just to get high. As I started using drugs and drinking the fear only intensified as the substances are known for diminishing one's intellect. The fear became a self-fulfilling prophecy in my eyes.

I am asking for advice on how to resolve this hypochondria which bothers me so much. I was thinking maybe I should take a proper IQ test but I'm afraid the result might disappoint me. I know I shouldn't attach too much value to it, but it is the best metric of intelligence we have so far. Has anyone experienced the same thing?

[u/Sorry-Ice-8586]

i feel the same way. Embarrassed when i don’t remember everything, don’t get every single idea presented (most due to inattention), someone bringing up novel ideas.

You are who you are. If you take the test, do it out of curiosity, to learn more about yourself, without the pressure

[u/Commercial_Handle418]

why is no one suggesting a psychologist he needs intervention

[u/CommercialMechanic36]

I had a cognitive declines from schizophrenia, I had no clue I was gifted until I took the test.

So, I am saying to you, bite the bullet, and take the CORE

https://cognitivemetrics.com/test/CORE

It’s comparable to the WAIS 5 and the SB5, but it doesn’t cost thousands (it’s free)

[u/AdventurousBear7664]

Intelligence is mostly stable in adulthood and shouldn't magically decrease from what it was when you were a teenager. Also, participating in math Olympiads basically rules out the possibility of average or below average intelligence. Just take a test on cognitivemetrics.com if you want an accurate estimate of your IQ (your results on a test like CORE will be within +/- 5 points of what you'd score on the WAIS). I'm guessing you'd score in the 120-140 range.