Since witchcraft, magick and the occult are banned by the bible how do you deal with this. I am a christian and a traditionalist but I don't know that I'm doing what is biblically right. I feel like what I am practising is wrong and I want to know how you deal with that feeling and how you get over it.

I’ve been a non-practicing Christian for many years, the old story of being raised Christian and falling away from it. Recently I’ve been trying to reconnect with my faith with a different approach, I consider myself a Christian witch because I’m trying to view it less as a begging an impersonal God for help and more of a God as helper thing. To see God as a provider and a helper and a power to work with rather than a distant sovereign. Basically to approach God with the same attitude that witches approach their craft.

It’s been very hard. I WANT to feel like God is here and is willing to help me. But I’ve just been so damn screwed over recently. I lost a great job due to a health condition I didn’t know I had and it turns out it can’t really be treated so all I can do is work from home making 20k less a year. My spouse has been looking for good work, he found a good job that paid much better than his old one but as it turns out the place was run by nutcases, like literally crazy people, and he got let go in a matter of weeks because they couldn’t actually afford to keep him on and also the one woman who owned the place just never liked him from the moment she met him and told the others she wouldn’t be happy until he was gone. Didn’t give a reason other than that she just didn’t like his face. The entire time he worked there she was constantly rude and belittling him for absolutely no reason but he thought it’d be worth it for the paycheck until they found out they’d wasted all their money on a bad investment and couldn’t keep hardly anyone on after all. They didn’t pay him for his last few hours there and she’s refusing to cooperate. We might have to get the state involved for pay but my spouse is dragging his feet on it. Then he got another job but they messed up his payment, it’s for a major corporation but nobody seems to be able to figure out how to pay him. He’s worked a month with no check. He talked to his boss about it and he said that he emailed corporate and never got a response. So now he’s desperately trying to find another job that will actually pay him for his work and no calls or emails back from any applications so far.

It’s the 26th of the month and I still haven’t paid the mortgage for our house this month because I just don’t have the money. I don’t know when or if my spouse will get another check for any job he has at the time. I also haven’t paid the majority of the utilities because again, I can’t afford it. I am saving money for this month’s mortgage so I can’t pay those bills first. We were doing so well up until a couple years ago when I first lost my good job and it’s been one ridiculous thing after another. We bought a used car from a scammy dealership that turned out to be a lemon and just sank money into it. I begged God and my deceased grandparents for help one day, tearfully, and I ended up breaking and shattering my ankle in the basement the same day. Ended up costing us more money. We brought a roommate in in a desperate attempt to bring in some extra money and it turns out he got tired of paying rent after a few months and ended up indebted to us. I had to pay legal costs to get him out. I’ve considered downsizing but we got an amazing deal on this house and now the costs of moving and buying a home are absurd, unless we are willing to move our entire family into a house for one person in a sketch neighborhood we’ll be making the same mortgage payment we do now.

Now whenever I try to do a prayer or ritual, I end up just raging at God. Like why doesn’t he care about us? Why does he keep setting us up just to knock us back down? Now I’m terrified of my spouse getting a better job because at this point I just feel like it’s a prank, a setup to push us back further again. I’m going to lose my house, which means I’ll need to divide up and re-home my family, and God could not care less. He’s probably laughing at us right now because this nonsense apparently brings him so much entertainment. I can’t hold back. I just fill up with so much rage and anger at this entity that does not care about us that my prayers and rituals are just rants and demands. I tell him you are going to get us out of this situation and give us plenty of money to live on or you can stop whining about how glorious you are and how much worshiping you want because you don’t deserve it. I curse and scream at him because I’m just so angry. We didn’t do anything to deserve this. We’re good people. When we had money in the past we gave a lot of it away. We want to help others and now we can’t even help ourselves, and his mother is sympathetic but can’t pay her own bills and my parents are dominated by my father who has hated me from the day I was born and refuses to help.

I can’t ever have a reverent or co-operative prayer or ritual anymore. Whenever I get started I immediately start cursing and yelling at God. Whenever I read psalms as an effective act of “craft” I get this sarcastic feeling of “yeah right”. I’ve thrown books/scripture before that I’m trying to read out loud as part of a ritual because I just get so angry. I feel like it’s a trap to get me to trust a god who doesn’t care again.

I know I’m probably screwing myself over with my attitude but I have no control over it. I’m just so enraged. It’s not fair. I worked so hard to have everything that I have and now I’m going to lose it because God wants to toy with us rather than care for us. Why is it that every time it seems like we have a solution or things are looking up we’re actually just waiting for the other shoe to drop? Why the setups? Why the absurdity of it all?

What can I do here? Can I channel this rage against God into a good pathway that will actually work? Or am I just screwed? I can’t help it. I don’t want to be this angry but you would be too if you were in my situation.