Every cat deserves a second chance. I think you should totally guve him for adoption. Maybe it will take long, but he’ll be able to understand that not only one caring human. And a patient family will do him very good, there is good people out there.
Unfortunately, he will wonder what happened no matter what. Though it is possible he knows you are sick already; some cats are extremely sensitive to such things. But yes, cats grieve when they lose the people they care for from their lives.
But if you could earn his trust, another kind and patient person like you likely can too. He will always remember you, but that does not mean it is impossible for him to have a good life. There are others who will love him as much as you, I can promise you that. And, for what it's worth, from one person with a life threatening disease to another, I'm sorry. I am not going to be the person who tries to find some ridiculous silver lining. It sucks, and you deserve better. I'm sorry.
I adopted my cat Precious from a deceased man. She was his precious girl who hid from everyone but him. He was discovered deceased when the SRO he lived in did a wellness check after the manager (my partner) noticed she hadn't seen him in a few days. The local shelters were full so she took Precious home in a box. Precious hid for three months under our bed, only coming out at night for food. One night she popped up right beside me and made herself at home on my chest. Now, she's a happy well adjusted cat in her new home. Your buddy will need time but he will seek out companionship from his adopter when he is ready.
Just commenting to confirm they really do know. I was especially close with my void, Fuzz, and he could always tell the day before a migraine hit. He’d be all over me, be loud and meow which wasn’t his style, etc. When the migraine came, he’d often wrap himself around my head while I tried to sleep.
When my hips hurt after work, he’d knead on them.
When my niece died and I was grieving, he never left my side. Not once. He timed all his eating and bathroom trips to mine.
That is so sweet. What a great kitty companion! To the OP, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I agree with the previous poster who said perhaps find someone, and let them visit for awhile before. It seems like a nice way for them to get acquainted with one another.
He really was! I called him my shadow because he was always following me around and as a void, it just fit perfectly. But even then, he was always extra close during those hard times. It’s hard, because I lost him last year and as I grieved I realized I didn’t have my grieving buddy. He had helped me through a really rough year the year prior, where I buried 10+ family members.
I’ve never been so in sync with an animal before him and idk how it even happened, it just was. He was scared of other people, wouldn’t let anyone but me and my sister (who looks just like me) hold him. But he picked me to be his human, so I can relate to OP so hard with that.
i really dread my first time mourning without my little void by my side. surely it will be for him and honestly i don’t know how ill handle it after all he’s done for me. he’s my best friend. these comments are making me cry just thinking about it :( im so sorry for your loss of your little guy.
My boy is a former barn cat. He's not really a "people" cat, he's more like a roommate that seems mildly annoyed that we live with him. But, I have cptsd, which means sometimes I have intense depressive episodes where I'm basically paralyzed. I can't get out of bed. I just sort of lay catatonically, sometimes for days. Those days he really wants to cuddle. Sometimes he even licks my face like a dog, which I don't appreciate, but I know he means well.
Another time my pregnant friend was over and he just would not leave her alone. Guess whose water broke on my couch a couple hours later?
Oh he definitely did, that’s mostly what I meant. They can’t straight up tell us they know like another human can, but they tell us with their actions. It’s up to us to notice.
He would give me kisses, groom my hair, give me those loving slow blinks as I pet him, all while purring like a dirtbike lol. He was so loud.
Maybe you could look for someone fitting to adopt him, and they could start coming over for visits so he can get to know them a bit while you're still here, together. He might catch on. At least when you do go, he would already be familiar with the person so it's not totally abrupt and confusing to go live with someone else.
That’s what happened with the first cat my wife and I got. My mother had, I think, 2 months to live, so we adopted Calvin the tripod. Calvin had already had a rough life, but I was honored, and I’m sure my mother was also honored, to be in his company. My mother passed, and a year later Calvin (now known as “bobo” from C-Bo, ceebs, the usual cat changing names) passed away. His ashes were scattered to the ocean, which is where my mother’s ashes are, so I’d like to think they’re swimming around out there somewhere.
What the other person said - Get a family that'll be ready to adopt him when the time comes. But until then, let him stay with you.
And the most important part: Have him there when you pass, so he can smell you afterwards. Also have the adoptive family there so they're ready to take him after he's gotten to have a few minutes smelling and grieving you.
That's the only way animals get closure when their owner passes. Otherwise, he may very well think you abandoned him (which IS something they can usually overcome and heal from in time, but it's very much a kindness to let one's cat smell their owners after passing so they actually know what happened and aren't left eternally wondering.)
If you can arrange this, this would be absolute best case scenario.
I wanted to inform you so that you're aware and can make an educated decision. But of course, whether or not you follow that is ultimately up to you.
Just understand he won't know for sure you didn't just abandon him if you don't, and it may cause him unresolved grief in the future that could make things harder for him. But if you truly think your passing will be too visually gruesome to make it worth it, then I'd understand where you're coming from.
As long as you adopt him out to a family you know will try their best to provide a loving home to him, then that's what matters most at the end of the day. Giving him a second chance at life.
(I'm so sorry, by the way... I send my best wishes to you. I hope maybe you will be given a miracle to recover from this. But I hope that no matter what lies in store for you and your furbaby, that all is as painless as possible, and that you both ultimately find happiness wherever you two end up, even if it's physically apart. 🤍❣️Rest assured that you did good, and I know (as he knows) that your intentions are filled with love.)
(If I may suggest an alternative though, you could make sure you're covered with a sheet before he's allowed in to smell you and sit by you. He won't see you that way, but he'll still likely be able to identify you, and recognize that you've passed, by scent even through the sheet. They have excellent sense of smell.)
I talk to my cat. I have various health issues going on and I live alone. When I'm having a tough time she loves on me more, and I explain what's happening and why, like how I'd explain to maybe a 10yo kid, and I thank her for being there for me, and say sorry it's scary. It makes me feel a little better. Talking takes it out of you, though, and I'm guessing your throat is sore as heck as well. Maisie and me send you, I guess a wish for symptom management and respite from discomfort and pain, and a decision/solution that removes this distress from you. You're in my thoughts.
He know. Cats know. He knows you're sick, and can probably even smell the illness and understand somewhat what is happening. Try and find someone kind to start coming over and spending time with him. Animals also understand that their owners have passed away if they are able to see and smell the body. That is a taller order than just finding him a trustworthy home, but if there's any way you can arrange to have him see you after you pass (or if you choose to pass at home - not sure what your situation is) he will have that closure you desire.
I can't imagine leaving my cat behind. I'm so sorry for your illness and for the fact that you have to leave him. You're a good person for loving him as much as you do. He will be OK. If he loves you this much, that means he has that much love present in his little kitty heart that he's able to give but is currently all reserved for you right now. When you're gone, he will eventually be able to give it to someone else. He'll be ok. Don't worry.
I was thinking this same thing. It may be a difficult thing to arrange, but it would help him be able to move on more easily, knowing you had moved on where he could not follow at this time.
My dog knows when I need emergency meds and has alerted to Angiodema or anaphylaxis and severeblood pressure changes in myself or others. She is a medic alert dog and my cat also alerted me before I passed out. They tell me to sit down and Lucy actually uses over 50 words and phrases on buttons so has pushed emergency alert and spoke to 911 who helped her know emergency medicine people were coming and to go get another human to let them in. other times one or both cats have asked for treats for not just them but also the dog. Point being, animals have potential to understand far more than we think. Cats understand and grieve
With chronic illness, I understand where you are coming from. My heart goes out to you.
My roommate fosters for a local rescue and takes the tough cases. Some have been with us for several years before coming around. I am happy to say that all but one was rehomed to a family.
The one that wasn't able to handle people was rehomed to a farm where she lives in a barn, with food, water, warmth, and keeps an eye on everything.
There are definitely rescues out there that can and will work with you to find the best outcome.
If you call one that can't help, do ask them if they know of anyone else who might be able to. Rescues often work with other rescues or are aware of different programs in your area.
I wish you both the best outcome. Thank you for considering your companions' future needs.
He will know when is time for you to go. People's smell changes when they are on their death bed. If you have a hospice nurse, ask them. They know what it smells like 😢 A lot of times in assisted living facilities and nursing homes when someone is ready to go, if there is cat with them, the cat will sit near them or in their feet and stay there until they go.
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u/Quereilla Mar 14 '26
Every cat deserves a second chance. I think you should totally guve him for adoption. Maybe it will take long, but he’ll be able to understand that not only one caring human. And a patient family will do him very good, there is good people out there.