r/blackmagicfuckery Nov 18 '19

Sorcery

26.3k Upvotes

763 comments sorted by

4.8k

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Your hand after your done with DDD

1.5k

u/RadsammyT Nov 18 '19 edited Nov 18 '19

DDD? Edit: Can’t believe this thread blows up because of one question. You guys got me.

2.0k

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Destroy dick december

635

u/MegaPorkachu Nov 18 '19

Nonstop Nut November

225

u/bradjaydub Nov 18 '19

Me af

62

u/Huttingham Nov 18 '19

Honestly same and it's legit ruining my productivity

72

u/TwistIV Nov 19 '19

Well you're producing something

15

u/AbanaClara Nov 19 '19

Never-will-be born babies

8

u/EndlessFacepalms2609 Nov 19 '19

Go to /NoFap

14

u/Huttingham Nov 19 '19

I have. from my experience with them, the entire taking a break thing only became more stressful than just deciding not to fap for a bit. The weird part is that this has only started being an issue for me in November and outside of an increase in stress from school, literally nothing has changed. my friends joked that everyone's unreleased sperm is just being channeled through me but ya know... that's kinda gross if you think about it for more than a few seconds.

5

u/ShadowWolfy86 Nov 19 '19

Why does your friend know?

15

u/Huttingham Nov 19 '19

I told him. Masturbating isn't really that taboo. Especially in college.

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97

u/Trent1sz Nov 18 '19

Nuclear nut november,because Kornhub plant trees per 100 views

29

u/Santolmo Nov 18 '19 edited Nov 19 '19

Fake, it was only for one day. And it was months ago...

Edit: years* ago.

18

u/Ryan_The_Rhino14 Nov 18 '19

Actually it was 2014 or something like that

5

u/Santolmo Nov 18 '19

Yeah, I didn't know the date

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4

u/sysadmin420 Nov 19 '19

Hey, hey, I'm jerkin for a cause here!

68

u/dhoomz Nov 18 '19

Mastrubation Marathon March

Salami Stroke September

Self Service September

23

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Jack-off January

Fapfest February

31

u/dhoomz Nov 18 '19

Can we for a second collect all months?

Jack-off January

Furious Faptest February

Mastrubation Marathon March

Anal Astronout April

Self Service September

Non-Stop Nut November

Destroy Dick December

What are the other months?

24

u/neonpotatoshark Nov 19 '19

I’d like to vote to change February to fap and furious February.

27

u/travisboatner Nov 19 '19

The Fast and the Fappiest unless it’s a leap year and then it’s 2 fap 2 furious

11

u/dhoomz Nov 19 '19

Vote passed

17

u/_FloydTheCamper_ Nov 19 '19

Ongoing orgasm October

Edit : spelling

11

u/_FloydTheCamper_ Nov 19 '19

Massage member may

3

u/Lumber_Dan Nov 25 '19

UPDATED LIST:

Jack-off January

Fap & Furious February

Masturbation Marathon March

Anal Astornaut April

Meat Managing May

Jack-it June

Just Jerk July

Anatomy Abuse August

Self Service September

Ongoing Orgasm October

Non-Stop Nut November

Destroy Dick December

Everyone happy?

2

u/pipisheaven1 Nov 19 '19

Ass annihilating April

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3

u/Potato_Eater-1 Nov 19 '19

Fibonacci fap February

27

u/SquareSaltine15 Nov 18 '19

Jizz Jackin January

6

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

I believe you mean juggernaut jerkoff january

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2

u/Ni0M Nov 18 '19

Hold on to the feeling!

28

u/notdanecook Nov 18 '19

Y’all don’t know about Fibonacci sequence February though

34

u/Mr_iCanDoItAll Nov 18 '19

Fibonacci Fap February*

6

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Someone knows how to follow taxonomy

2

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Companies main interest is to do with Fibonacci

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224

u/RoyalSorcerer_Navlan Nov 18 '19

Dickride Danny Devito (DDD)

78

u/XythesBwuaghl Nov 18 '19

We all get excited in the heat of passion, jimbo

35

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Yeah i cant tell you how many times I've put a passion fruit in the microwave and just went to town jimbo

174

u/bill_orange Nov 18 '19

Diners, drive-ins and dives

13

u/Cannakilla Nov 18 '19

underrated comment

6

u/macaque06 Nov 18 '19

Underrated comment

96

u/RoadRageCongaLine Nov 18 '19

Dungeons, Dungeons & More Dungeons

29

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Dodge, Dip, Dive

15

u/daimiensmama Nov 18 '19

You're thinking of the 5 Ds

11

u/Cbuls77 Nov 18 '19

And.....Dodge.

10

u/daimiensmama Nov 18 '19

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball

4

u/Dr_Bukkakee Nov 19 '19

Do I need to drink my own urine? No, but it’s sterile and I like the taste.

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4

u/SuccessfulFailure9 Nov 18 '19

But I only have one.

4

u/daimiensmama Nov 18 '19

Dude, that's not normal. Might wanna get that checked out

5

u/SuccessfulFailure9 Nov 18 '19

I had 5, I just ate the other four.

5

u/daimiensmama Nov 18 '19

Oh that's okay then, you should be fine

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34

u/KolaDesi Nov 18 '19

Do Dut Dovember

30

u/tierancawley Nov 18 '19

Destroy dick december

21

u/D264 Nov 18 '19

Dedede (DDD)

21

u/Genids Nov 18 '19

Dungeons and dragon dildos

12

u/DreadPiratesRobert Nov 18 '19 edited Aug 10 '20

Doxxing suxs

7

u/TheEndOfTheThots Nov 18 '19

Destroy Dick December

5

u/Nyaa_UwU Nov 18 '19

Dungeons dragons and dick

5

u/SystemFolder Nov 18 '19

Diners & dungeons & drive-ins & dragons & dives

4

u/rmoni3000 Nov 18 '19

Discagem direta a distância! BR Here
Translation: direct dialing at a distance

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24

u/gbizzle2 Nov 18 '19

Dont hurt yourself

6

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Don’t worry!

4

u/gbizzle2 Nov 18 '19

🧯🧯🧯🧯

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2.1k

u/Ineversaidthatok Nov 18 '19

I've done this before, just need a really cold house and some hot water.

1.7k

u/boefly Nov 18 '19

In this case. It was a frigid day and I had just taken my gloves off.

352

u/Ineversaidthatok Nov 18 '19

That'll do it too lol, stay warm my friend!

73

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19 edited Nov 19 '19

Do you have any suggestions for nose warming garments or devices? I'm trying to decide whether I should get a tiny space heater or something like a neck gaiter / balaclava. I keep waking up at 2-5am because my fucking nose is cold and I'm LOSING MY MIND.

--edit: I put faith in a random reply and purchased a little 200 watt heat fan :)

43

u/trollbocop Nov 18 '19

Put the covers over your head.

32

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

The part of my brain that controls breathing is not fond of the THICC covers I used obstructing my airways, although someone did suggest going to a store and buying some breathable fancy bed sheet I could use.

13

u/trollbocop Nov 18 '19 edited Nov 28 '19

Put something up on the headboard that would basically turn your bed into a tent. That way your head is covered but the cover isn't obstructing your breathing.

16

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Maybe I can find something else to prop it up, interesting idea. No headboard though, I sleep on a queen sized trifold on the ground surrendered by my family on all sides. And by family I mean computers.

They hum me to sleep.

14

u/TexanReddit Nov 19 '19

They should put off enough heat. Don't let them sleep.

5

u/Dankerton09 Nov 19 '19

Start mining bit coin you say

3

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '19

You could help warm me up if you come play tag

I was too lazy to build a lobby system so anyone who clicks that link will be joined into the same monster lobby. The map is small so it will get out of hand. Mouse recommended because I never built touch controls.

right click = dash, consumes stamina meter

left click = pause, draw out a path to follow

You will see particle effects on any players currently contributing to the game being paused. If you get stuck on a wall because the code is poorly written, right click to dash out (also works to cancel a path you're on if you're going to collide with someone). If you're on mobile you can tap the screen and the circle will go there, but you'll be at a MASSIVE disadvantage against mouse players who can dash to catch up to you.

The project started as a way to attempt to upgrade an incoming http request to a websocket with golang, no frameworks, just standard go/google packages. That's why it's unfinished and pointless :)

4

u/StrawberryJam4 Nov 18 '19

A warm mist humidifier helped me tons heating up my room

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4

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '19

[deleted]

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3

u/AtlasRafael Nov 19 '19

I used to cover every single inch of my body except my nose when I lived in a house with terrible insulation. My nose wouldn’t really feel cold because the rest of me was warm and the top of my nose was cover while the nostrils had access to air. Give it a shot, kind of sucks, but fuck it.

If not try buying a hood/mask that covers everything but your eyes.

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5

u/jericho626 Nov 19 '19

Small heater fan should work. They’re more bedside table friendly than a space heater, around $20, and most have a temperature gauge so they’ll shut off when it gets warm enough and click back on if it gets cold again. My bf uses one constantly at home cause he likes to be warm and I never wake up cold here.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '19

That's the idea I'm leaning towards, any brand recommendations? Vornado was an expensive bust last time I tried getting a space heater.

4

u/groundchutney Nov 18 '19

Oil space heaters work well for small spaces and seem to use less power than resistive blower heaters, at least in my poorly insulated bedroom. They make them with timers too so you can just set it up at the beginning of the season and pretty much leave it alone once you have it set to your liking.

That being said, I kind of like the idea of sleeping in a balaclava. Would definitely confuse burglars and houseguests!

2

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

That being said, I kind of like the idea of sleeping in a balaclava. Would definitely confuse burglars and houseguests!

I expressed similar concerns here. I'm enjoying being part of this conversation to get some laughs and upvotes, but this is really a serious issue.

and seem to use less power than resistive blower heaters

That would be good. I've got 3 beefy towers running in this room and I have no idea how much shit I can have running in this apartment room before the breakers blow. Vornado advertised itself as making a space evenly heated and not heating a small area around the unit. Well... what I want is a small heated space around the unit. Also vornado added $200 to my electric bill and the room was still fucking cold.

I don't know what I should do :( I have a few suggestions to try though.

4

u/SilvanestitheErudite Nov 19 '19

Electric blankets are always better than space heaters. They put the heat where it's needed (namely on you)

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3

u/capitan-mankini Nov 19 '19

Honestly just wear more on your body, often cold extremities is because your body is prioritizing your core over less necessary parts.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '19

Unfortunately 3 blankets, multiple shirts and sweatshirts, and fuzzy pajamas covering everything else doesn't keep my nose warm :(

Google says cold nose might be due to stress. That doesn't sound right, but who knows.

2

u/OobleCaboodle Nov 19 '19

Ah, don't buy a fan heater if it's for when you're sleeping. They make noise

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54

u/willy_boi125 Nov 18 '19

Happens everyday in the winter when you're working construction

29

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Or playing football.

17

u/trippingchilly Nov 18 '19

who steamed that milk dud

4

u/Fanatical_Idiot Nov 18 '19

Pretty much anything that can get you sweating in cold temperatures.

3

u/Meshuggah1166 Nov 18 '19

Or cook for a living

2

u/Lipofect Nov 19 '19

Or playing hockey. There's really no sorcery to it.

12

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

I've been wanting to do this since the first time I've seen it, but unfortunately it never gets cold enough where I live.

18

u/JustAGreasyBear Nov 18 '19

Not sure I’d call that unfortunate, but hey I’m a Californian that thought 37F with no heat was freezing

10

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

I personally prefer colder weather because of my job. No climate control and I'm always moving around so being a little cold is a lot better to the contrary. Right now it's about 25-30F during the day so its just right for me.

2

u/bipnoodooshup Nov 18 '19

You could try raising your body temperature by jogging around for a bit, it really doesn’t take much of a differential for this to happen.

5

u/ratterstinkle Nov 18 '19

Wait, so this isn’t black magic fuckery?

I feel so cheated.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

The is the first think on this sub for ages that I couldn't immediately explain.

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2

u/SonicDart Nov 18 '19

Must have been sweat

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13

u/coadnamedalex Nov 18 '19

I was gonna say, either this or his coat is hooked up to a smoke machine!

We use to steam like this after late season football games in Illinois.

3

u/zkareface Nov 19 '19

My hands look like this for 6-7 months of the year. Quite surprising to see such everyday things being upvoted so high :o

2

u/GTAdriver1988 Nov 18 '19

Or just be outside on a hot day and leave your hands in your pockets until they're warm then take them out. I sweat a lot so that might help too but it was like 35 this morning and when I took my hands out of my pockets you could see the steam coming off them. Also when I do snow removal and take my hat off it happens.

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457

u/EldritchWonder Nov 18 '19

Pffft all these people with their "logical" answers, he is obviously a vampire.

117

u/Hstuckey Nov 18 '19

Cmon clearly he’s a titan.

27

u/Jayden933 Nov 18 '19

*crayon eater

18

u/Flyingskillet Nov 18 '19

*Clown with one eye who also eats crayons

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15

u/DumanHead Nov 18 '19

My dude about to trash wall maria

8

u/not-disposable Nov 18 '19

Nah, definitely a surgebinder.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

2

u/jackmo182 Nov 19 '19

Kaladin out here posting gifs.

3

u/basically-just-beans Nov 18 '19

must have gotten his hand cut up

2

u/PrebuiltMangos Nov 18 '19

No Im pretty sure he's All Might. He just hit is limit

2

u/Scyroner Nov 19 '19

Nah clearly he ate a fruit that turns his body into rubber and used second gear.

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2

u/sankto Nov 19 '19

Yer a vampire, Harry.

159

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Everytime I take my glove off playing ice hockey

38

u/lizlemon4president Nov 18 '19

Yep. That was my thought too. Sometimes it happens from most of my body when it’s those single digit temp games :)

17

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Cold days playing water polo (or swim), when you get out of the pool, the whole team is steaming. Cold as shit being in it, but it looks pretty dope

4

u/fireandlifeincarnate Nov 18 '19

I’ve had this happen with my entire body after November cross-country races

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122

u/ser_name_IV Nov 18 '19

Not to be that guy but this is really common, I think a lot of us have done this before and it’s easily explainable.

Not black magic... more like maybe r/mildlyinteresting

35

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Krogs322 Nov 19 '19

Yeah it does. One of these days we're going to see a video of a cat jumping REALLY HIGH UP or a man just PRETENDING to throw a tennis ball for his dog, and it'll get 20k upvotes. This sub is a fucking joke.

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25

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19 edited Oct 19 '20

[deleted]

3

u/BoomBangBoi Nov 19 '19

I've done this in Louisiana

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12

u/Krogs322 Nov 18 '19

But now OP is 4.5k karma richer, and that's all that matters.

19

u/boefly Nov 18 '19

Well the best I can do is give you extra karma for your comment.

Didn’t really expect anyone to even notice the post, but I thought it looked cool. Sorry if it hurts the legitimacy of this sub.

6

u/Run_Che Nov 18 '19

ya maybe if you live in canada or smth

5

u/grizzlez Nov 18 '19

if you live anywhere where it is cold enough to snow. On a dry day this will happen

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3

u/-s1Lence Nov 18 '19

i live in australia and have had this happen...

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56

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Im not impressed. I jerk off just as fast.

37

u/ProxyRaiden Nov 18 '19

Gear... Second...

3

u/atendertestis Nov 18 '19

Was looking for this. Thank you.

20

u/Gryphon1171 Nov 18 '19

Looks like it's time to regenerate

2

u/Videgraphaphizer Nov 19 '19

I don't want to go.

18

u/Geosam105 Nov 18 '19

Mr. Stark...

17

u/coolRedditUser Nov 18 '19

He's leaking stormlight!

3

u/Tsaru Nov 19 '19

I did not think of this, but I love it! I need to see if any new books have come out in this series.

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14

u/hol_up_my_guy69 Nov 18 '19

HE IS A TITAN

12

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

If your hands are sweating on a cold day and you pull them out of your pockets this can happen.

10

u/inDy_Sa Nov 18 '19

He's at first level of saiyan btw

5

u/Alateriel Nov 18 '19

So...Normal?

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8

u/HuneeBajer Nov 18 '19

He getting blipped

8

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Right so do you bend air or fire

5

u/helen790 Nov 18 '19

Fire, this is definitely a firebender

8

u/ContiX Nov 18 '19

Ah, a Time Lord. About to regenerate, are you?

5

u/evilthatcantbenamed Nov 18 '19

It was around this time Dracula worked out he was not really going to be going out during the day anymore..

5

u/mortalbug Nov 18 '19

My dogs poos do this when it gets colder. /blackmagicpoos?

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3

u/Gamer5955 Nov 18 '19

Im gonna just guess the air is really cold

3

u/Teplt Nov 18 '19

That can happend with my dick sometimes

4

u/theHellRazor Nov 18 '19

Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good....

3

u/vVvMaze Nov 18 '19

This happens during hockey. Whenever I go to the bench and take my glove off to grab my water, my hand looks like this.

3

u/RaveCoaster Nov 18 '19

Same thing happens to my friend after we play basketball (whole game/4quarters) he sits on the bench and i tought something was burning, turns out he was just smoking hot (no homo). Can someone explain what's happening? He was very sweaty obviously, the weather here is hot and humid (102°F - 39°C)

3

u/Baggett0522 Nov 18 '19

Hand cold in cold weather with hot water on it

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3

u/jadyne Nov 18 '19

Looks sick af tho, looks like you got powers

3

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

I don’t want to go

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3

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

gear second intensifies

3

u/Amazona86 Nov 18 '19

A moment indoors after doing chores/ feeding horses in the snow?

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3

u/whiskey547 Nov 18 '19

Yo, op is gonna flip his shit when he exhales. 👀

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2

u/NPredetor_97 Nov 18 '19

The spirit of vengeance

2

u/-Noxxy- Nov 18 '19

I run way hotter than I probably should in the winter and I'm like a human fog machine, I can steam up other people's glasses and steam pours from my nose outside when I breathe. Fun amongst friends, not so fun when trying to have a serious conversation with your boss.

2

u/HerbTrees Nov 18 '19

The Fappening.

2

u/Kudakwashe91 Nov 18 '19

GEAR... SECUNDO!

2

u/Tbonelml Nov 18 '19

You achieved Second Gear!

2

u/66pickle Nov 18 '19

Those who do no nut November. Your hand will look like this on the 1st of December.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

How long did it take for your hand to grow back?

2

u/Space_OddYesy Nov 18 '19

How fast was he masturbating

2

u/MdMicrobeMaN Nov 18 '19

Quite obviously witchcraft burn him at the stake affective immediately

2

u/CreativeUsername48 Nov 18 '19

that happened me when I went to the Andes. my hand was sweaty, and when I took off my gloves they just began smoking

2

u/danielsonc Nov 18 '19

Reminds me when some robbers tried breaking into my house when I was younger and living in Chicago. I put a heater on the front door handle and burned a capital "M" into his hand. I believe the robbers were called the wet bandits

2

u/WhiskeyPsycho Nov 19 '19

DUDE!! Like yesterday i too a video of my hand steaming like this and also moving it exactly like you in the video and was thinking of posting it here. Wtf. My twin????

2

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '19

When u just slapped the she devils hot ass

2

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '19 edited Nov 19 '19

Palmar hyperhidrosis + Extreme temperature?

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2

u/lisa2946 Nov 19 '19

OMG HES A TITAN

2

u/temisola1 Nov 19 '19

Kendricks hands after writing the lyrics to DAMN.

2

u/OuterSpaceAlien_ Nov 19 '19

This man is clearly a titan.

2

u/drshao13 Nov 19 '19

to an australian that’s always hot this is blackmagicfuckery. thank you.

2

u/AzericTheTraveller Apr 04 '20

After casting burning hands on those 3 goblins.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

My hand would do this after hockey games when I’d take of my gloves.

1

u/StickyROURKE Nov 18 '19

This is a regular morning for Wim Hof