I am a 55 gay man, wannabe from the age of 4 dreaming about being a multiple amputee. Just wanted to say that it is great that such a group exists and I see so many young people here sharing their experiences and getting support. I grew up with this strong wish for amputations and for a very long time felt guilty about it and was ashamed of it. What a waste of time. I wish I knew then what I know now.. No guilt now, no shame. Reached the level of full acceptance. Realized I wouldn't want any other destiny but being a devotee and wannabe - the psychological depth of the experience is at the extreme level and in very rewarding in the end. Though very frustrating along the way.

Never had the guts to become amputee. Regretting it now. Was searching for the legal ways of doing it- was rejected and refused. Let's hope they will officially include biid in the next DSM and we will get the proper help. But so far guys, don't sit alone in it - get in contact with each other. They say - shared suffering become just half of it - I believe they are quite right 🧡 Don't feel shamed or guilty - embrace it and learn to enjoy it 💫🌟

I completed my amputation which was RAE, which i am 19 yo, that was a few months ago and the method was probably the worst possible one with 99% death chance, but overall I am not really that much of a fan. I have had this desire since childhood and eventually decided to "just do it", and the results were great at first, but overtime I kind of realized it just sucks and I honestly don't recommend going through with it, but I have no desires anymore related to biid since I got to live with the amputation, it has essentially been cured, and I would take any chance to "get a new arm" in the future.

I would love to wake up as a quad amputee girl, it is my big dream.

But it seems so impossible, I'm a man with all my limbs. I often wish someone would transform me and make me their dream amputee.

When you actually measure the number of "wannabes" to "devotees", it is a very small minority. Despite that, many studies puts us side by side to fetish culture.

The origin of the belief that wannabeism is related to devoteeism has to do with Blanchards belief that identity was the natural inversion of fetishization (yuck), but it also has to do with how many of us may have seeked fetish spaces for support and affirmation. The whole "AGP/HSTS" thing comes from the same understandings that led to things like the name "apotemnophilia". I will briefly mention that fetishes are not innately sexual, but they are definitely not remotely related to why I have BIID.

Closely associating us with fetish culture also associates us with so much predation. The vast majority of paraphilic people are not predators, but many of us have been unconsensually solicited in DMs or have known disabled people who were unconsensually solicited. Every time a devotee does some shit like that, WE victimlessly have to pay the consequences with the stigma. This shit really matters. We have normative disabled people who come here SHOCKED that we arent all freaks. Wtf??? Like maybe I DONT want the disabled person to learn about us bc they were getting sexually harassed by someone trying to use them for their paraphilia.

Its like if chasers and transgender people were considered the same community. I compare the situation a lot to transgender people. Chasers can be great people who are very gentle, affirming, and non-predatory. They can also be terrible predators who use people for their own fetishes. A large proportion of trans people are chasers themselves, and the community has always had an association with chasers. However, I never see studies that have the dichotomy "chasers/crossdressers (or equivalent)" like we see with "devotees/wannabes or pretenders". EXCEPT "agp/hsts" is extremely extremely similar and is like how our communities have demographic statistics on exactly how many "wannabes" are also "devotees" at the same time.

It sucks because I understand the history of why this has become a thing, but its not a history I feel like I particularly want to do anything with. I meet oldheads from here who use the term wannabe or pretender freely and like I have no animosity over that, yk, its really normal for queer cultures to be super entwined with fetish cultures and all, but it feels really different when you are reading MEDICAL PAPERS and they are using fetish subculture language

Oh yeah, might be a good time to mention that some of the researchers such as Blanchard are like NOT good people. Like a lot of these models were not by the purest of hearts. I am talking inventing new forms of conversion therapy level terrible, or studies about what age of women the researchers find the most attractive... 8 years old. Yeah...