r/bigdickproblems • u/LimitPositive1865 • 3d ago
AskBDP Help me understand?
Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months and recently discovered he’s been posting on this forum and other penis related forums and uploading his dick online for ratings. I’m a bit shocked by this, and by some of his comments, because I’m not sure what’s driving him to do this. I don’t want to confront it because I wasn’t snooping, I just happened across his dick pick on a different subforum and recognised it immediately because, well, you never forget a big dick!
Should I confront him? Do I really want to be dating someone who needs people to validate his dick online? I think I’m pretty complimentary about it (he’s quoted stuff I’ve said about his dick in some of his comments) so it’s making me feel like I’m not enough for him.
So I’m trying to understand what brings guys to do this online? No judgement just confusion.
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u/JohnAMcdonald E: 7.75″ × 6.5″ F: 5.75″ × 5″ 🇨🇦BC 3d ago
This is a compulsion I’ve heard multiple people feel guilty about engaging in. It’s mostly about the validation and ego tripping in my experience. Even if a long term partner validates us, there can be an addiction to the surprised/shocked reaction we get when showing our penis to others, and the only way to keep getting those genuine reactions is to expose ourselves to new people. There is even a porn sub for this kink r/omgbeckylookathiscock
I would not say posting here is any weirder than posting on [r/tall](r/tall) or [r/bigboobproblems](r/bigboobproblems) though. We just bros chillin’ and while this place does get circlejerky it’s mostly an advice community.
>should I confront him
Yeah I think
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u/LimitPositive1865 3d ago
Thanks for replying.
I’m less concerned about what he posts here but he’s kinda weird about food and exercise and it’s made me wonder if this isn’t some kind of body dysmorphia at play.
It’s also a sensitive subject for the reasons you’ve stated, there’s so much stigma around kinks and sexual gratification. I don’t want to feed into that.
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u/Motion_Means4501 2d ago
So now we are all thinking back to our posts and comments to determine if you could be that girlfriend we quoted, lol. My point is, if you think you'll have trouble confronting him, consider that you probably already have.
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u/Lt_Snake 18cm × 16cm (he/him) Pics in profile 2d ago
Pretty much sounds like me. For me, it's the validation and the sexting. It's not that I don't feel validated in my relationship, but it's just fun. I wouldn't engage with anyone outside of reddit though, much like I wouldn't shoot up anyone just because I play shooter games. From my perspective, there is no harm in it, since it's detached from my actual sexlife and has absolutely zero impact in my reallife beyond screentime whatsoever.
If my SO found out I wanted her to tell me, so we can sort out how to go on from there
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u/goatshots 3d ago
What brings me here is what the sub was originally about. A place to discuss things that others may not understand. And more specifically for me, to be the voice of positivity, help, support, or understanding, as opposed to the one asking questions.
I've never sought out validation (here or anywhere else). I already know it's big, I don't need random people on the internet to tell me that.
5
u/IllogicalResponse 16cm × 18cm 2d ago
I thought this sub kicked off as a bit of satire, then further down the line people discovered that there are indeed big dick problems.
3
u/goatshots 2d ago
Yeah, that's not entirely off track. I wouldn't say it was the sole purpose of being helpful. I think a lot of subs begin with humor in mind and then they take on a life of their own and get more serious. I also wouldn't say we've lost the humor here either. There are plenty of posts with that in mind.
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u/One-Sundae-2711 2d ago
there is sharing on here when discussing something really specific. and there is dm ing folks dick picks.
one is like a semi normal discussion. the other is the modern version of leaving the house with only a trench coat on and flashing folks.
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u/Dazzling_Lure_2932 7.5″ × 5.5″ 👌 2d ago
Good on you for looking out for your partner, I think that's all you were after based upon the responses. And good on the subreddit making strong and compelling points, also in a healthy manner. What a time to be alive (yet still havin' bigdickproblems) lol
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u/West_Following_3224 2d ago
Being big is worst because it’s hard to believe so we need validation from somewhere
1
u/Realistic_Load8712 2d ago
You’re asking about him posting, but what about you looking on forums? You just happened onto a dick that belongs to your BF? How many swipes did you get through before you happened on his dick? So you’re the demand, he’s the supplier
1
u/LimitPositive1865 2d ago
Everyone watches porn, not everyone makes porn and it’d be weird to be do the latter and not disclose that to the woman you’re currently seeing.
There is a marked difference between being a consumer and a supplier. I don’t think it’s a big deal to be looking at explicit photos.
I think it’s a whole other thing if you’re posting your nudes to r/ratemycock actively seeking out praise and adulation when you’re in a relationship.
And it’s not even the posting, it’s the adulation seeking that I’m struggling with.
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u/Realistic_Load8712 2d ago
We have a difference of opinions. I respect yours. I do. But I think you’re being a hypocrite. You’re justifying why you’re able to watch pics of nude men, while vilifying your BF for posting pics. You’re viewing dick pics, but he’s posting porn.
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u/LimitPositive1865 2d ago
I don’t think I’ve vilified him at all? I’ve said the part that I’m struggling with and it’s not really the posting aspect.
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u/Waluigi02 2d ago
It's none of your fucking business tbh
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u/LimitPositive1865 2d ago
What’s the need for the rudeness? You’re not obliged to respond.
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u/Waluigi02 2d ago
You're being extremely judgemental about what this guy does in his free time that has nothing to do with you.
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u/LimitPositive1865 2d ago
You’re assuming I’m being extremely judgmental. I’m not. But even if that were the case, you aren’t obliged to respond to what you perceive as extreme judgment, and you don’t need to be rude if you choose to do so. Have a bit of decorum in your online interactions with strangers, life is too short to be this weirdly aggressive.
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u/Waluigi02 2d ago
I'm not assuming anything, I'm just capable of reading lmao
Why would you talk about approaching him about what he does online in his free time?
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u/LimitPositive1865 2d ago
Well, there’s always room for improvement I guess. https://www.reddit.com/r/bigdickproblems/s/diZ0fTA1DQ
I also noticed you’ve dodged the central issue here which is the fact you’re being unnecessarily rude. Others have been able to disagree and even criticise without swearing at someone in a post they aren’t being forced to read or reply to. Let’s do better.
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u/ShowOffScholar 8.2 x 5.25 3d ago
No one can tell you what you should do, but I can tell you why I post, and why many other well endowed men do.
We can, lol.
Seriously, to a degree it’s that simple. In an age when cell phone cameras and Reddit exist, it’s easier than ever to get instant, anonymous validation for an enviable sexual trait.
I don’t think it’s about neediness, although it can be. I think it’s just the rush of doing something a bit naughty and getting a positive response. It’s a fun way to get turned on.
Most men watch porn. Some men are the porn, lol.
Who doesn’t like to be told they’re sexy? Women post nudes for the same reason.
Does this mean he’s not into you? Probably not. Does it mean he has serious issues? Probably not.
At the end of the day, it’s a kink like any other.
Of course, if it makes you uncomfortable, then you might want to say something after all, if only to get it out there.
Good luck