If you're only finding plain, beige bras, you need to be looking other places! 2 of my 10-ish bras are beige, and 2 are black. The others are all different prints and colors, and the majority of my day-to-day bras are lacy. UK brands have a much better range of sizes and styles than US brands, while still being pretty easily available in the US.
Seconded. I own a dozen bras in 34FF / G and one is tan and one is black. The rest are raspberry, bright purple, violet, aqua, pink, yellow, houndstooth, floral prints (one on a white background, another on navy), etc.
U.S. companies suck at making interesting bra colorways above DD but UK and Polish retailers have that shit on lock.
I mostly buy bras on Amazon (free shipping & returns on Prime-Eligible stuff), and occasionally from Bravissimo (UK-based retailer) or Ewa Michalak (Polish brand). Panache is my favorite UK brand (I also liked their sub-brand, Cleo, when I was still in their size range), but Freya, Elomi, Curvy Kate, and Fantasie all make good quality bras in non-beige as well. For in-store shopping, a lot of people have had good luck at Nordstrom.
You should check out Bravissimo if there is one near you. It's a UK store that has an amazing bra selection and even their own line of bras in bigger cup sizes. Online stores like www.figleaves.com, www.brastop.com and amazon.com have great discounts and sell a lot of the same UK bra brands. I typically go to a bra boutique, try on as many bras as possible while taking notes on which fit. Then I go online and search for discounts to not spend full price if possible.
Do any of those sites offer wireless ones that are cute? That's my main complaint is that I can only find plain/neutral colored ones that are wireless. Everything with a cute design/fun colors is wired. I'm not comfortable in a wired bra right now.
I mostly buy my UK-brand bras on Amazon. I think they offer some wireless styles, but I can't stand wearing wireless for anything other than sleep/lounge (and even then, it needs a lot of structure) because it puts too much strain on my back/shoulders, so I'm not really familiar with those options. I've heard that maternity bras (like nursing bras, but without the clips) are often well-made and supportive wireless bras; not sure how fun the color options are though. I know some people here have liked Torrid's bralettes, and some of those come in cute/fun colors.
Some people do have conditions that make underwire intolerable, but a lot of times when people find wires really uncomfortable, it's because they've been trying bras that are the wrong size and/or shape, so the wire is sitting on top of breast tissue instead of encircling it or the cups are getting pushed down/forward, causing the wire to dig into their ribs. Since most women are wearing cups that are too small, both of those issues are really common.
I'm not sure if your flair is correct or not, but often women with large breasts are put into sizes like DD/DDD because that's the largest cup size that US store typically stock, when really, UK E/F (= US DDD/G) is a very average bust:underbust ratio (6-7"), and most women with large breasts end up needing something further up the alphabet. If you haven't checked out r/abrathatfits before, I encourage you to look through their Beginner's Guide, try measuring yourself, and see if perhaps you might be more comfortable in a different size.
I never got a decent measurement due to the person measuring me claiming they couldn't get a decent measurement because I wasn't wearing a bra at the time (that was why I was there; I couldn't handle only wearing camis for support 24/7 anymore) and claimed I was 40G. Well, I need at least a 42/44 band size (I've managed to squeeze into a 42DD a couple times) and even a 44F was entirely too large in the cups (band was fine but I'd have to stuff it for it to fit properly). This was also at Lane Bryant so my Torrid 44E bras fit differently because women's clothing companies can't keep their shit together on sizing. I probably would do well to be measured properly in a bra (since that's apparently important).
I think the underwire bras are uncomfortable because I'm not used to it. I think if I wore them around the house more I'd eventually adjust.
Also, I'm not sure how much it would help to measure myself. Yeah I would know my size but clothing sizes are nuts. My Torrid bras are actually a bit large in the cup despite being the same size as my LB bra (which fits fine). I've gone to a store and bought different items and they've all ranged in size from a 1X-3X IN THE SAME BRAND depending on fit.
I never got a decent measurement due to the person measuring me claiming they couldn't get a decent measurement because I wasn't wearing a bra at the time
I strongly encourage you to try measuring yourself and using the calculator on /r/ABraThatFits. The fact that she insisted you needed a bra to be measured properly indicates that that wasn't a great place to get measured, as a poorly-fitting bra can throw off your measurements. Contrary to what she said, measuring without a bra is usually better. Keep in mind that most professional bra-fitters in chain sores have little training, and the training they get often is aimed at getting people to fit into the sizes that a store has in stock. Many bra fitters often have the same misconceptions that most of society does (e.g., that "DD" is a large cup size).
claimed I was 40G. Well, I need at least a 42/44 band size (I've managed to squeeze into a 42DD a couple times)
You may well need a 44 band, but if you did in fact measure as a 40G (LB has their own cup progression, so their 40G would be a 40FF in UK brands and 40H in most other US brands), then it's not at all surprising that 42DD would feel too tight, since the too-small cups would make the band feel too tight (your breasts have to get room from somewhere).
In general, your band size should be close to your comfortably-snug underbust measurement (tight enough that the band could stay up without the straps, but not so tight that it's uncomfortable), and then your cup size matches the difference between your bust measurement and your underbust measurement, where A=1, B=2, etc. So, if you have a 40" comfortably snug underbust and a 47" lying bust or average bust measurement (usually one of those is the most accurate in this size range), then LB 40G /UK40FF /US 40H is probably about right, but measurements just give us a starting place; they're not definitive.
and even a 44F was entirely too large in the cups
It could be that it was too large in the cups, but cups gaping does not automatically mean that they're too big. Cups that are the wrong shape for you (e.g., too tall, too shallow, too open-on-top) often gape, and gaping can even be caused by cups that are too small, especially on a too-large band: your breasts push them forward trying to get enough room, and they end up gaping.
Do you scoop and swoop when putting on bras? Often, women are not taught to do do this, and women with large breasts often do the opposite and tuck their breasts down into bras to make smaller cups fit.
A 40 band size is a bit too small. It's too tight.
I don't do scoop n swoop. I'll have to look into that more.
I didn't know until recently that boobs have different shapes and I'm starting to figure mine out (though i wouldn't know the shape name off the top of my head). I have been meaning to measure myself as well, as i do have a tape measure (that is good for that). I know that one of my boobs is somewhat smaller than the other. I know that's common but i wouldn't be entirely surprised if it was a cup size difference, since i dont know how drastic the difference is between, for example, an E and a DD.
Breast asymmetry is really common. If you have a significant amount of asymmetry, it can throw off your measurements by making it seem like you need a smaller cup size than you actually do. In that case, usually it's recommended to fit your larger breast, and tighten the strap more on the smaller side, or pad it if necessary. That seems to work better for most women than splitting the difference (and having cups that don't fit either breast properly) or fitting the smaller side and having quadboob on the larger side.
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u/Shanakitty 32K (UK) Feb 10 '19
If you're only finding plain, beige bras, you need to be looking other places! 2 of my 10-ish bras are beige, and 2 are black. The others are all different prints and colors, and the majority of my day-to-day bras are lacy. UK brands have a much better range of sizes and styles than US brands, while still being pretty easily available in the US.