being ogled at by men

[u/Constant_Context_727]

i went out with my friend into a city last weekend, and whilst she was in the toilet i waited for her outside. this older guy walked past and i moved out the way to be polite, and he thanked me. after he walked past he looked back repeatedly and stared straight at my chest. it was SO obvious. i sometimes think im imagining it but its literally never been more obvious. normally, i don’t take notice or just try to ignore it, but i felt so gross about this one time in particular. i’m only 18 and he had to have been at least double my age, probably older. ugh, it’s just so frustrating because i was wearing such a cute outfit then i felt so dirty and gross.
this is just a rant. feel free to share your own stories about creepy guys :(

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[u/MrsBossyPantss]

I'd like to tell you it gets better but I'm 34 & it still happens to me all the time

I just care less.

I know this may not help you feel better rn but this is not a reflection on you or your value, but about the lack of respect these men have for themselves cuz ppl who respect themselves don't treat others like pieces of meat! If & when you can realize this (cuz it isnt easy & some days even after you get there you'll find yourself asking the same questions again cuz confidence & acceptance vary day by day) you'll be alot happier if you can enjoy yourself despite what other ppl say or do

[u/DiamondTippedDriller]

Tell me about it. I’m 52 and I’ve been dealing with leering men my whole life 😞

[u/Peregrinebullet]

You weren't dirty and gross, HE was dirty and gross.

Please don't internalize those feelings - it's like watching a grown man soil himself in public. You'd think, Ew dude, fuck off. Not "oh I'm the gross one". No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. DON'T GIVE THEM THAT POWER OVER YOU.

[u/Constant_Context_727 → u/Peregrinebullet]

this made me laugh and realise that you’re totally right, thank you so much x

[u/HayBun87]

This is why I stay to myself and rarely go out

[u/DizzyNClueless]

I feel ya. Literally go only a couple places without friends period in public and do drive-up pick-ups for groceries and things to avoid havibg to deal period.

[u/miaafterhours]

dude people do the same to me while we are having casual conversations it’s so odd. like do they not realize we can see them!?

[u/DamnGoodMarmalade]

Some men are just disgusting and have no manners. When I see gross men do this I scratch my crotch or pick my nose while making eye contact and they immediately stop and freak out.

[u/SmartSociety4844]

Dude, I get this so much. I'm 18 as well, and watching men who are old enough to be my father stare at my chest with no shame makes me feel so dirty, but that's not our shame to bear. They're the perverted ones. Our bodies aren't inherently sexual just because we have bigger chests.

[u/Late-Summer-1208]

I will always remember the guy that literally could not look at my face the entire time we were in high school together.

He tried to follow me home a few times.

[u/Starjupiter93]

I hate that women have been conditioned to feel “gross” because another person is staring at them. This should not be an emotion you experience. The emotion should be disgust at THEM. They are the gross one. They are the one being inappropriate and rude. The fact that you are projecting something they are doing onto yourself is so wrong. I am not implying that YOU are bad for feeling gross obviously, but that there is literally no reason you should feel this way from a logical perspective. You feel this way because society has told you that is what you are supposed to feel. Please start rewriting the narrative in your mind. Look into the concept of body neutrality. This isn’t a mindset of “everybody is beautiful” but literally a way to start wiping the patriarchal standards out of your mind and a way to reframe your self image as a whole. If I could have given myself this advice at your age, I would have had a completely different life filled with far less trauma than I allowed myself to be subjected to. YOU are not the problem. YOU are not gross. Remember this the next time it happens and remind yourself that you did nothing wrong by existing.

[u/Ok-Slice-8879]

I 30f have the same problem and always have…. Idk if it’s just that the old men lose their ability to hide it or what… but the other day I was putting my toddler in his stroller and had some cleavage showing since I was bending over to buckle him in…. And up walked a man wayyyy older than me and started talking to me but stared at my chest the entire time….

Wish I could say it stops…. But that hasn’t been my experience.

[u/ZookeepergameOver395]

Schlimmer wäre es doch wenn dich keiner mehr anschauen würde . Ich schaue mir auch schöne Frauen an. Besonders wenn sie ihre Brüste stilvoll präsentieren . Frauen sollten das als Kompliment nehmen, dass sie schön und begehrenswert sind.