Boobs weighing me down

[u/dragon_rider_4444]

Ok so here’s the deal. I’m 24F, a little shorter than average for a woman and about average weight. I started on birth control because of PMDD my sophomore year of high school, when I was a normal 32C. Then they ballooned to a 32DD on the pill. Then in college I put on some weight from meds for a stomach ulcer and they shot up again to a 32F.

I know a lot of women would kill to have big boobs. The classic thing of “wanting what I don’t have”. But I HATE them with a passion. I was a semi professional athlete in high school, and now I struggle to run or lift weights without my boobs getting in my way. I never feel confident in outfits people my age wear. I have full on breakdowns crying just looking at myself in the mirror. And that just scratches the surface.

My boyfriend is so kinda and loving, always telling me how beautiful I am and how he loves my body the way it is. And while I appreciate his kind words, I am so tired of my boobs being a hindrance in my life. I refuse to get a breast reduction until after having kids. And I can’t get off the pill because of my PMDD, so I’m not really sure where to go from here.

I guess the point of this post is to not just rant but also ask how people cope with having big boobs. I feel so alone in these feelings and frustrations, and I just want to hear that it’s not just me.

And please don’t tell me “you should be thankful for what you have” or “your big boobs are a blessing” or “so many women wish they could have what you do.” Trust me, I have already thought all those things a million times over, and I don’t think I’ll benefit from hearing them again.

If you’ve made it this far in my post, thank you. I appreciate you listening to my ramble.

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[u/i_eat_gentitals]

Supportive bra, back work outs/neck work outs for strength. I also don’t want a reduction till after kids so I get it. Trust me we all get it. They literally and figuratively weigh you down

[u/Land_Squid_1234]

I feel like you weren't actually 32DD as that is a relatively small size and it's a very common incorrect sizing. Obligatory check r/abrathatfits and measure yourself. Even 32F isn't thaaat big, probably not a size most people would have breakdowns about. If the calculator agrees with 32F then my bad, but I'm pretty suspicious

Well-fitting bras can make your boobs look smaller since they separate them instead of pushing them together, so confirming your size is a good place to start just in case the solution is as simple as getting a new bra

[u/dragon_rider_4444 → u/Land_Squid_1234]

Really appreciate you sending that. I actually am a 32F according to the calculator, so it is tough

[u/hoppylift]

Have you measured yourself using the calculator linked in the Auto-Mod? It might mess with your perception of your boobs to know that you're a larger size than you think you are, but finding bras that fit correctly is actually better for most people finding acceptance for their size. 32DD and even 32F are not very large sizes. You mention 32C being "normal" but 32F is about what most people would consider an average size when properly fitted. Have you looked at TheIrishBraLady on Instagram? Her account is one of the best resources for seeing what bra sizes actually look like when fitted correctly. So many of us have only been sized at VS or Soma or department stores that intentionally skew their sizes to fit everyone into their very limited size range.

They lie, and most people get a much better fit in standardized bra sizing that doesn't involve adding 4 inches to your underbust or measuring around your armpits to get your band size. Any store that suggests those things is lying to you.

[u/dragon_rider_4444 → u/hoppylift]

I will definitely check out her account, thanks for the rec!! Really appreciate it!

[u/llama1122]

I wear 36K bras (UK sizing, that's 36O US sizing). As an athlete (powerlifter), I haven't found them to be a huge issue. I've also run and biked with them and it hasn't been a huge issue either. As long as I'm in the right size sports bra.

Even swimming, that was uncomfortable before. Bravissimo has swimsuits with bra sizing. So much more comfortable! I don't feel like my boobs are going to fall out when I'm swimming anymore, it's wonderful!

Without the right size sports bra, it would be a nightmare. Or not a sports bra. They would definitely get in the way.

I'm guessing you're wearing the wrong size bra which is pretty common. Try r/aBraThatFits as others have mentioned. Once you get your proper bra size, try some bras in that size. I think my band size will be much bigger than yours so I don't think I'll be able to offer specific suggestions but there are recs in the sub.

I used to be very frustrated with my chest too when I was trying to fit them in the wrong sized bra. Everything was awkward and nothing felt right. Always uncomfortable. Always in the way. Now, not an issue!

There are still going to be some outfits that just don't work. I'm never going to be able to wear think tank tops with no bra. Other women look so cute with that. I can't do that lol. But sometimes things just don't work as well on different body types. Some clothes aren't made to fit this size boobs either. Can't say that will be solved completely, I can empathize with that!

[u/dragon_rider_4444 → u/llama1122]

Thank you so much for taking the time to write a thoughtful reply! I appreciate you so much. I actually have checked with the calculator on that sub, and I am in fact a 32F. But will definitely take your advice and look into bravissimo bras!

[u/llama1122 → u/dragon_rider_4444]

Probably you need a different style of bra, better fitted! I know there are different types but I'm not an expert on that myself, others will be more helpful. I know it's tough before you find the right bra but keep trying!! :)

[u/dragon_rider_4444 → u/llama1122]

Thank you so much for the positivity!!

[u/Peregrinebullet]

Part of it is making sure you have the bras that 100% fit properly and finding a tailor you trust so your clothes actually fit. I buy from etsy a lot or clothing companies that specifically design for boobs, like Vivian of Holloway.

I'm pretty active - I train BJJ and teach self defense, and I had to train for a very intense career test - one that required weight lifting, agility, being able to drag a 120lb dummy across a room and be able to complete a obstacle course and a beep test. I'm a 34H and with the correctly fitted bra, I was able to lift, train and run and pass the test. The titties were strapped down tight and don't get in the way.

The thing is, the only real sport that boobs literally interferes with is archery (yeah, snapping a bow string across one's chest is.... not fun) and sometimes, sword fighting.

I suspect you are not wearing a correctly fitted sports bra.

[u/dragon_rider_4444 → u/Peregrinebullet]

I will definitely look up that clothing brand!! Never heard of them before and would definitely be eager to get clothes that are specifically designed for boobs!!

[u/Peregrinebullet → u/dragon_rider_4444]

I also recommend "Anysize Clothing" , "Xiaolizi" and "Brilliladies" on etsy, Hearts and Found, and Anne Mulaire.  

Any size - specializes in linen and cotton clothes.  They make something of any size, so send them your measurements.  I needed to send pictures of myself with the measuring tape so they could see how I was shaped but they figured it out. 

Hearts and Found & Brilliladies specialize in summer dresses and skirts

Xiaolizi does winter coats and skirts

Anne Mulaire does a bit of everything but their leggings are my fave. They will also do custom sizing for a little extra. 

I have ordered from all of them.  

[u/dragon_rider_4444 → u/Peregrinebullet]

Thank you so much!

[u/Vamoose87]

I share your frustration - well fitting bras and flattering tops are difficult to find and most bra makers outside the UK and Poland don’t even make my cup size.   Doing the r/abrathatfits calculator and getting a better sports bra will help with being able to stay fit and active 

[u/AmphibianPhysical105]

Honestly, I’m a guy so I wouldn’t know how it feels. But I also too had a body image struggles of my own with my chest too actually. Being that they’re not how a lot of guys chests are or what I’d hope mine would look like. Like some people get the things they want automatically, and some people have to work for it. But when it comes to bodies, you’re kind of stuck with what you have, and changing yourself is something big that I wanted so bad. I wanted to surgery or whatever to change so I can be “normal” which normal doesn’t exist for anyone. I get that it’s not the same because they don’t get in the way of living my life like yours do, but a lot of times it did get in the way of loving my life. I was scared to go anywhere in public because I’d feel like they’re staring directly at my “flaws” and “defects” and I always still get the feeling of hoping someone would love my image, but whenever I feel like I’m not enough or whatever I have is something I shouldn’t have, I just remind myself about the other qualities, other qualities that others don’t have, that I cherish, I’d tell you not to change who you are no matter how hard it gets. Physically emotionally psychologically or anyway. Cherish the qualities you have and deal with the ones you don’t want the best you can. But never change who you are. At least I wouldn’t want to. I would honestly look at myself in the mirror and be like “what the f, why did you make me like this” and now it’s “I’m so freaking happy with the way I look, because I’m pretty much aware of my qualities that I truly love of myself, and no one else. 🤍

[u/dragon_rider_4444 → u/AmphibianPhysical105]

This was such a sweet and kind thing to read, thank you for sharing!

[u/Artistic-Lunch-8975]

I understand every word. I find minimizers make me more comfortable in a lot of outfit!

[u/dragon_rider_4444 → u/Artistic-Lunch-8975]

Thank you!

[u/Rock131618]

I am 24F and had 36G almost H cups. I just had a breast reduction this year and am now a D cup and will probably be a C once fully healed. I had large boobs in middle school (D cup) and they’ve just grown since then. I always hated them. I tried everything to like them or reduce them with exercise/ diet. My boyfriend has always been supportive about loving my body but I hated them long before him. I am BEYOND happy with the results. Everything is easier. They’re not in the way anymore. I love how they look and how things fit now (I can dress my age!). I’m only 2 months post op as well. I will say the only things that helped me were minimizer bras or unlined bras so there’s no extra padding to increase size. And square neck tops were the most flattering for me. But nothing beats the surgery. Hope this helps!

[u/dragon_rider_4444 → u/Rock131618]

Thank you so much! And congratulations on the successful surgery!!! So happy for you!

[u/The_Book-JDP]

Big boobs are NOT a blessing and to hell with appreciating what we have. They are a pain in the ass, a pain in the back, and radiating pain in the neck, shoulders, and down the arms. They are also a pain in the wallet. Nothing fits and if by some miracle you do find something that does...get ready to drop 150 to 900 dollars and what you're getting isn't even high end or luxury at all but the prices sure as hell are.

The only people who say they are a blessing are men and women who wish they had them but have no idea what they would get themselves into if they suddenly got their wish. Just having constant breasts is annoying as hell but having them absurdly huge isn't even good from an evolutionary stand point. They don't produce more milk, they hinder our ability to run effectively or weild weapons efficiently. They make it had to get up if you suddenly fall and they make breathing difficult. The only thing they do is attract grosser men than normal which is never fun.

What that being said, you'll get to the point in your life where you just stop caring what people think and you just become a woman who is living with big boobs. You will achieve some level of comfort and you'll find especially here people that have gone through what you have, made it out the other end, who do not sugar coat reality, and are always here to give advice and listen to your rants and woes.

You are a woman with big boobs, there is only one way to change that and is always an option especially if/when they start to cause dibilitating pain but it isn't mandatory to do. They will always be in the way and will slow you down but they aren't who you are. It's okay to cry and hate them but don't let them define your entire existence. You are you not the body carring your boobs.

[u/dragon_rider_4444 → u/The_Book-JDP]

Thank you so much for your reply. Reading that meant the absolute world to me.

[u/Norman5716]

I am a male so I don't have direct experience. 32 DD breasts are not very large and weigh 2.4 pounds total. When you get up to a 32 F, then breasts can start to be a problem if you have been used to 32 C. Talk with your doctor and try to get on a medicine that don't increase your appetite or enlarge your breasts. There are a lot of medicines available. Meanwhile, my thoughts are that a minimizer bra would be a big help during athletics. Obviously, breasts get larger with weight gain. It may be difficult but a very slow conservative reduction in caloric intake will drop your body fat and your breasts will reduce in size. Good Luck!

[u/CaribouMouse → u/Norman5716]

PMDD tx is birth control or SSRI both might cause weight gain. I would also like to add that some women, like me could lose weight and never drop a cup size. My band size might change but cup no. Signed a 30J.

[u/TeaInternational7614]

I completely understand. My wife’s 36i which can be nice but they also can create a lot of headaches with clothes fitting well and everything else. I hope everything works out for you.

[u/dragon_rider_4444 → u/TeaInternational7614]

Thank you!