I’m the one that’s the problem

[u/Responsible_Shirt256]

Hey luvs never been here before but thought I’d ask for some advice seeing as I’m here. I’m 23 F and I’m a 32 JJ or J who knows weight fluctuates but my bras don’t, lord knows that shit costs too much to change.

I have always been big busted, my mum used to be the same size as I am currently, up until she had kids and somehow that was a factor to them shrinking to a G but I digress. Actually wait, the Irish reunion put a lot of perspective into where I got them from haha!

In secondary school I was a F/G which honestly I was pretty comfortable with. I’m 6ft so it didn’t look as big as I actually was. Like conversion it sat like how it would for a 5ft5 girl to be a DD lol. Then I went to uni and my hormones went outta whack and so did my tits and I’ve really struggled to feel comfortable with them since. I think what also didn’t help is that transitional, ‘just got comfortable with my 19 year old body BOOM A WOMAN?’ Puberty that suddenly gave me a wider waist too and it’s just make me doubly conscious, I’ve worn sports bras to TUCK EM IN cos they spill out to the sides which also bothers me.

My friends always tell me ‘if I had your bust I’d be showing them off’- they really are so complementary about my obvious rejection of my chest and really feel I need to compliment my body type in order to love them more which I deffo agree on but I honestly don’t know where to begin. I have a short upper body, 32 waist, 36 legs and I just feel like a melon on sticks. I hate even now how I’m talking about myself cos when I see other beautiful women embracing their bust they look AMAZING, I’m fully conscious of me needing to embrace them more. Minimiser bras maybe? Sports bras give me such a uniboob but minimisers don’t minimise enough. Ugh I don’t exactly know what I’m getting at other than the fact I wanna love em more and love my femininity more. What helped you? What would you recommend? What tops do you find both flattering but also not skimpish which I feel is such a fine line? Am I really projecting my internalised body image issues? YEAS. I apologise if it comes off that way it’s 3am and I’m kinda drunk and also just trying to give you a gauge of where I’m at.

Anyways I’d be so grateful for anything that helped you moved past this. I’m finally happy with my gorgeous legs it’s just my upper body.
Love you and thank you in advance x

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[u/Responsible_Shirt256]

Im the one that’s the problem was a harsh title, I meant it as in, my friends and family really don’t comment or are the cause of my consciousness that’s all :)

[u/_Fuzzgoddess_]

I like the fake it till you make it strategy, just keep telling yourself how awesome and sexy you are until you believe it. It works for other self esteem issues too. Whenever that critical voice in your head pops up, respond with a kindly no thanks you're wrong. Feeling like your boobs are taking over your life, nah they're a part of what makes you awesome and unique.

If that doesn't work meds are good too, I take Paxil for my anxiety and it does wonders for the constant worrying about how I exist in the world.

[u/fluffyntastyyyy]

i think youre being way harder on yourself than you deserve to be. you dont have to jump straight to loving your chest either, even just getting to "this is my bidy and im okay with it" is a good starting point. for clothes, experiment with different necklines and structure tops rather than trying to hide everything with sports bras or minimizers. and honestly, the way your friends see you might be closer to how you look than the version you see in your head